Won't you please let me back in your heart

[AUGUST WITT]

August had told himself when things ended with Maxine that time would heal all. In the weeks following he was bound to feel better, and within a couple months he would be ready to move on completely. At first the pain was intense. And in time it did dull to a throbbing ache, but time simply wouldn't heal the wound he'd created in his heart. He was sure that Maxine would come back to him. She was far more interested in having a committed relationship than he was, but it was becoming more and more apparent that she wasn't budging. He'd taken time to reflect on what had gone wrong, to see her side more clearly, and though it wasn't easy at times, he did slowly begin to come around. She'd made some valid points before they'd ended things. She was an embarrassment to him for all intents and purposes. He wouldn't come out about their relationship, and though had the tables been turned he might not have cared, he knew she did and had a right to feel that way.

What August didn't account for was the lack of healing. Instead of missing her less each day, he found himself yearning for her. In the early hours of twilight he would think about what she was doing and when the sun threatened to come up he had to suppress the urge to slip his ring on in order to go see her. He missed the way it felt to sleep in his bed, lying beside her, holding her close. The way her long red hair tickled his nose and smelled so perfectly of her. She was soft, beautiful, his.. He couldn't even bring himself to sleep with another, knowing no one could ever possibly live up to her. No one would mew into his ear the way she did, cry his name in a moment of passion, scrape their nails along his scalp and tug at his hair. No one could whisper "I love you" into his ear and make his heart swell ever so slightly, encouraging the same feelings in return. No one but Maxine. He was miserable without her and he wondered if it was all worth it. What did it matter what his parents thought? Let them hate his decision. Let them hate her, as long as she was his again. With his pride on the line he made the final decision; he needed her. He wouldn't be able to live without her, and he wouldn't dare take her for granted again.

It was early evening when he managed to slip into his car. His body was tense as he drove to her home, which looked exactly as it always did. The car he'd bought her was still there, a small twinge of hope tugging at his heart at the sight of it. She was home, she must be. The lights were on and the car was there. Even with this knowledge, he simply stared at her home, second guessing his decision. What if she pushed him away.. What would he have to do to convince her he would change, that he was capable of doing all that she needed? That he was ready to put her before himself? Could she have moved on? It had been nearly four months since they'd last spoken. He hadn't been able to look at another, could she be the same?

It took nearly twenty minutes for him to open his door. He walked slowly to her step, breathing deeply and watching his breath fog as he exhaled. He reached out and rapped on the door, using his knuckles and suddenly realizing he should have brought a gift. Footsteps were approaching. It was too late for that now..

[MAXINE MCMANUS]

Maxi was happier than she could have hoped to be in the months since August had broken up with her. Charlie had stayed an extra week during his trip to the States and by the end of their short, passionate vacation together, she had a ticket to London. A few weeks later she had a week-long visit full of exploring and romance topped off by a very happy and unexpected announcement: Charlie was moving back! True, he was moving to Portland, which was an hour from Scriptor Bay, but it was so much better than crossing a continent and an ocean to see him! Better yet, the Portland office wanted him to move as soon as possible. In a few more weeks, Maxi was picking him up from the airport with a big hug and kiss to greet him. He was still in the process of unpacking and settling in, but at least he was close enough that Maxi could easily go see him over the weekend. Precisely her plan once she finished out the school week.

It had been easy to confess her feelings for Charlie since he was so free with those three little words: I love you. After years with August, it was stunning to her to hear him say it so soon. In fact, she couldn’t help but feel a little anxious about it. She had worked so hard to get those words from August, but when he’d finally said them, she knew he meant it from the bottom of his heart. True, she and Charlie had known each other for far, far longer than she and August had, so of course he loved her. But did he really love her after so short a time? She returned the words, but did she really love Charlie? They were perfect for each other and it was practically meant to be. But in her quiet moments alone when Charlie was too far to wonder what she was thinking, Maxi let her mind wander back to August. How was he? Had he moved on too? It made her bitter to think that he probably had. He probably had a new Gargoyle woman, one he could be proud of and introduce to his family and coworkers. Then she remembered she shouldn’t be bitter—she had moved on, after all. She had a wonderful man of her own kind who had been at her side for as long as she could remember. A man she was crazy about. A man who doted on her no matter who was around. A man who was nothing like August…

Her mind was focused on her plans for the weekend with Charlie as she made her dinner. It was simple—fish and green beans pan seared in the same skillet. She was just pulling it off the stove when she heard a knock at her door. Who could it be on a week night? Maybe Charlie was taking a break from settling in for the night and was here to surprise her! Or it could be as simple as a delivery man coming to the wrong house. She hurried to the door in her yoga pants and sweater, looking out the little window next to her door with a curious smile. It quickly faded and her face went pale at who she saw standing at her door. His eyes focused on her and it was too late to hide.

With a hard swallow and her heart thudding in her chest, she unlocked the door and swung it open with an anxious, almost sad face. She never thought he’d be on her doorstep again. At one time she had hoped he would return but now her stomach twisted with uncertainty. “August…” she said quietly, holding the door open. Hesitantly, she stepped aside, the cold air washing over her bare toes forcing her to gesture for him to enter her home for the first time in four months. He stepped inside and her heart ached to smell him again. All of her wounds she’d forced to heal with Charlie’s help were quickly reopening. She closed the door and remained silent for a long moment, unsure what to do. When she finally looked up at him again, her uncertainty was clear all over her face. “What are you doing here?”

[AUGUST WITT]

The change in lighting told him that she was peeking through the window and his pale eyes moved to watch her, noting the way her face fell at the sight of him. After this long he certainly couldn't blame her. It took another moment for the door to pull open, stormy eyes meeting the gentle sapphires once more. “August…” she said in way of greeting. He offered a small, hesitant smile as he uttered her name gently in return. "Maxine." To his surprise she pulled the door open more, allowing him access into her home. August hesitated a moment before coming in, not expecting such hospitality. Maxine closed the door and August turned to watch her, his heart swelling with feelings he wasn't completely expecting it to. He was searching for the right thing to say, having had a speech in his mind prepared, but now that he was standing there in front of her, so beautiful in her lounge wear, all those things he prepared seemed to be gone.

“What are you doing here?” He wanted to wince, but didn't, looking down at his feet instead. She said it like an accusation and though it hurt a bit, he couldn't realistically be upset? "I.." His mouth opened as he looked up at her before pressing into a tight line, his brows furrowing. What right did he have to come there and ask to be forgiven? Would it make any difference? It had to. "You're all I think about." He breathed, sad eyes the color of rain clouds met hers pleadingly. "Every night before I change I yearn for you. When I wake at dawn I ache to feel you beside me." His eyes fell to her feet and though he was confessing to her, he still felt like he was making things worse. August took a hesitant step away from her, never having felt so broken before.

"I was a fool for letting you walk out that door, and an even bigger fool for waiting so long to come to my senses. I never should have.." August licked his lips, his mouth so disgustingly dry. "I never should have taken you for granted. I'm so sorry, Maxine." His voice was soft and raspy, his eyes pleading as they met hers. His gazelle.. a long quivering breath slipped through his chapped, parted lips as he watched her, not sure how she would react to him. "I'm so sorry." He repeated in almost a whisper.

[MAXINE MCMANUS]

The longer August hesitated to answer, the louder Maxine’s heart pounded in her ears. Why was he here? Now, after all this time? She was terrified of what he would say. “I…” He was going to say something truly devastating. She silently pleaded for him not to. “You’re all I think about.” Her stomach dropped to the floor, her heart stopping painfully. His eyes met hers and she begged wordlessly for him not to continue. Don’t… “Every night before I change I yearn for you. When I wake at dawn I ache to feel you beside me.” Tears burned in her eyes, frozen where she stood and grateful when August took a step back. “I was a fool for letting you walk out that door, and an even bigger fool for waiting so long to come to my senses. I never should have…” Please stop… Why did he have to do this to her? She was finally settling with Charlie, finally happy again… “I never should have taken you for granted. I’m so sorry, Maxine.” The tears were close to spilling over onto her cheeks, her arms folded tightly over her chest, trying desperately to close herself off from the pleading in his eyes. How could he still have this sway over her? “I’m so sorry.”

He should be sorry. She couldn’t help the anger of vindication that rose in her chest even as tears of pain leaked onto her cheeks. Why should she pity him? After everything he did to her, she should throw him out of the door and never let him back in. Yet still she stayed rooted to the ground beneath her, her eyes glaring into his. “It’s too late.” Her voice was hardly louder than a whisper and strangely unsteady. She should have more conviction if only for Charlie’s sake. “You walked out of that door on your own because of your stupid pride. I gave you everything and you threw it away. You broke my heart, August.” A sob escaped her before she could stop it. “And still I waited. I waited for a month and a half for you to come back and apologize. I cried myself to sleep every night just waiting for you to come back and pick up the pieces. But you never came.” She shook her head, her hurt pouring out of her so he would have no doubt how badly he destroyed her. The tears pouring down her cheeks were hot with bitterness. “So I gave my heart to someone new. I moved on, August.” The look on his face should have filled her with the sweet taste of revenge. Instead it left her feeling hollow and weak.

“I’ve known him practically my whole life. He’s Jamie’s older brother. He’s one of my kind.” She slung that in his face, letting him know that she had taken his own opinions on interspecies dating to heart. But causing him that extra bit of pain still didn’t satisfy her. “He isn’t afraid to show his affection for me in front of other people. He’s proud to have me on his arm and he doesn’t hesitate to tell me he loves me. And I…” She couldn’t say it. Why couldn’t she say that she loved him? She did love Charlie. She did…but the words stuck in her throat. That’s when she knew she might have been forcing it all these weeks. Maybe her love for Charlie simply hadn’t grown enough to compete with her love for August. Her chest ached even more to know that, her face melting into one of utter pain. “I can’t hurt him…” she nearly whispered. She looked at him pleadingly and hated how much she still longed to be in his arms. “Why did you have to wait so long? What makes now any different than four months ago?” If only she could simply turn him away…But the heart wants what it wants.

[AUGUST WITT]

He didn't know if seeing her crying was good or bad yet. Her arms folded tight over her chest, a defensive move that said she wasn't going to let him in, not yet, not so easily. He couldn't blame her. He wouldn't blame her.  How could he?  He was the one who waited so long to come back to her.  It wasn't like he hadn't tried.  The thought had been slipping past his mind for months, but pride had gotten in the way, and he had to at least give life without her a chance.   “It’s too late.” Too late? It was never too late.  It had only been four months, and in their lives that was hardly any time at all.  his lips pursed and his brows furrowed, not in anger but in uncertainty.  Though her statement was finite, he could tell there was wiggle room.  She wanted him to earn it, and he could do that!  “You walked out of that door on your own because of your stupid pride. I gave you everything and you threw it away. You broke my heart, August.” August openly winced, bowing his head as he glowered at the floor.  He knew he'd been a fool.  He didn't need to be reminded, but he knew she needed to get it all off her chest if he had any chance of fixing this.  In his mind he still felt sure that it wasn't too late.  He could, with time, rectify his wrong doings!  No way she had fallen out of love with him so quickly.  “And still I waited. I waited for a month and a half for you to come back and apologize. I cried myself to sleep every night just waiting for you to come back and pick up the pieces. But you never came.” Finally he looked back up, a glint of curiosity in his eyes.  A month and a half? Is that all it took for her to get over him, after a relationship as long as theirs? She couldn't imagine she was able to call it quits, not with how much emotion she was showing!  “So I gave my heart to someone new. I moved on, August.”

It felt like the floor was pulled out from under him.  His jaw went slack, the curious look dripping into something more of uncertainty.  Was she being truthful? Had she really moved on? And so quickly.  His heart actually ached and his hand slipped to his stomach, gripping the fabric of his shirt gently as he stared at her.  August was not one to cry, but in the moment he certainly felt the threat of hot tears tug at the back of his eyelids.  No.. No she couldn't have..  

“I’ve known him practically my whole life. He’s Jamie’s older brother. He’s one of my kind.” No.. No, no, no, it wasn't supposed to happen like this! His jaw clenched at the name; of course it was Jamie's brother.  She wouldn't be low enough to slide into bed with someone like Jamie.  He knew her better than that, but Jamie's brother wasn't someone he suspected.  hell, he'd never met the guy though he was certain she'd mentioned him in passing.  “He isn’t afraid to show his affection for me in front of other people. He’s proud to have me on his arm and he doesn’t hesitate to tell me he loves me. And I…” The pain in his eyes was clear as he hung on to every words.  She.. what? Did she love him back? His head shook ever so slightly back and forth, pleading with her not to say it out loud, begging her not to throw it in his face like this.  It wasn't like Maxine to be the vindictive one, yet she was playing the role well, leaving August torn and confused.  She deserved someone who uttered their affections freely.  She deserved to be with someone of her own kind, who wouldn't ever ask her so selfishly to stay behind the scenes as he had.  He was willing to change for her, it had taken time to come to the conclusion, but he was and now it was probably too late for him.  Did he even stand a chance fighting for her?  “I can’t hurt him…” He silently begged her to do just that; hurt him.  Hurt this guy, what did he matter? Their relationship was young, they couldn't have what they did! She couldn't really be happier.. could she? She'd seemed happy when she looked through the window, until of course she saw it was him.  In that moment he realized the fleeting smile was meant for him.  How could he not be bitter?

“Why did you have to wait so long? What makes now any different than four months ago?” He'd stayed quiet, trying to come to terms with what was going on, how to feel, what to do next.  How could he possibly sway her after all of that? Did he even had the advantage he thought he had?  "I needed to realize I couldn't live without you."  His eyes, unbeknownst to him, were growing pink with the unshed tears that threatened to spill.  "I can't.." He stammered, swallowing the lump in his throat. "I can't breathe without you.." August looked away, looking anywhere but at her as his tongue slid past his bottom lip.  How could he have been such a stubborn idiot?  "How could you have moved on so quickly?" Pain creased the lines of his seemingly youthful face again, his eyes squinting slightly. He stared at her a moment, processing what she'd said before it all made sens to him; she wasn't invested in the relationship.  She was using it as a distraction.  He'd hurt her so she moved to the next thing that would make her feel better about herself.  "You haven't."  His voice was soft and bordering accusing.  "Have you.."

[MAXINE MCMANUS]

Maxi could hardly stand the look on August’s face. Talking about Charlie had cut him deep. Why didn’t she feel more satisfaction? She finally felt like she had wounded him as badly as he’d wounded her, but she felt no triumph. The only thing she felt was the pain in her chest. “I needed to realize I couldn’t live without you…” Her heart clenched tighter, more tears dripping onto her cheeks at the sight of his own tears glistening in his eyes. Those beautiful stormy eyes were ringed with pink and she wished she could cast her heart aside so she wouldn’t have to fight the urge to throw her arms around him. “I can’t…” Why did he have to tell her this? He had to live without her. He had to. How could she hurt Charlie? “I can’t breathe without you…” August looked away and Maxi could only swallow sobs as her eyes fell to the floor. Charlie…Charlie could breathe without her. But Maxi knew how August felt. She’d felt it in the weeks that followed after he left her crying in that very hallway.

“How could you have moved on so quickly?” Maxi’s eyes met August’s again in a pained glare. How could he ask her that? What hope could she have held onto for four months? He was the one who left! What right did he have to ask her to keep waiting until he grew up? And even as all of these questions threatened on the tip of her tongue, she knew she hadn’t really moved on. In the last several weeks, she’d convinced herself that she had, but in reality she had run from the pain straight into the first pair of arms that would catch her. Maxi looked away from August’s eyes, all of her answers collecting in her mouth but she wouldn’t let any out until she settled on one. “You haven’t. Have you…” Just like that, her eyes snapped back to his, angry and hurt and frustrated. What could she say? If she was honest, he would think there was hope to get her back and there wasn’t any. Was there? Standing in front of him, the way his pain hurt her, how much she had to fight back the urge to punch him and hug him at the same time…she knew she was faltering. Fat tears rolled onto her cheeks, her glare melting into a look of pleading. “Of course I haven’t…” she whispered. Saying it out loud broke her heart. What was she going to do? Her face buried in her hands, Charlie’s face coming into her mind. How could she hurt him?

“I wanted to…” Pulling her hands away from her face, she let out a small sob. She met his gaze once again seeing the uncertainty there. “I wanted to forget you. It was the only way to get rid of the pain. Charlie came to visit and confessed he’d had feelings for me when we were younger, just like I had for him. So I threw myself at the chance to move on. Anything to get you out of my head.” The realization that her feelings for Charlie had been a weak attempt to escape her pain was hitting her like a ton of bricks. She felt pathetic. But how could anyone blame her? The man she had devoted two and a half years to had pushed her to the background. He had been ashamed of her. Even if she had been a fool for thinking she could change him, that didn’t erase the pain an event like that could cause anyone. Or was she a bigger fool for still holding onto her love for August and even considering giving up on Charlie? She had changed August, after all. He knew how much she meant to him now, but it had taken ripping them both apart for him to realize it. Did he even deserve a second chance? “But Charlie…he just moved to Portland. Before that he was living in London. When we were apart, I…I wondered about you. I couldn’t help it. I was sure you had moved on. And even though I had Charlie…I hated the thought of you with anyone else. Even with the way you hurt me, I couldn’t stand anyone else having you. People who have moved on don’t have thoughts like that.” Saying all of this out loud made it real. For weeks she’d pushed these thoughts down, bottled them in her chest. It only left her feeling torn and confused to be stuck at this crossroads. There were two men she loved and she could only have one. Her eyes were big with fear and confusion as she met August’s gaze again. “I don’t know what to do, August. Charlie moved back for me, but…I can’t forget about you. I just can’t…” She’d never felt so divided in all her life.

[AUGUST WITT]

She faltered and August felt his heart crack further. How had she given him up so easily? She'd loved him for so much longer than he'd loved her. That wasn't to say he hadn't cared for her deeply since the beginning, but August was reluctant to place titles like love on anything, even a good relationship with a perfect partner. The way she looked away made him tense more, feeling the sudden urge to break something, mostly Charlie's face. “You haven’t. Have you…” She looked angry when her eyes came back to his and he couldn't help but match her gaze with his own. Of course he hadn't! It would take ages for him to find someone worth his time and put the effort into seducing them. He didn't want to do that, not when all he thought about was her. He hadn't even fucked anyone since her. As nice as it would be to relieve his stress in that manner, it would only make him ache more. He had an eternity to fuck the women who so eagerly spread their legs for him, no need to rush into it.

“Of course I haven’t…” she whispered, drawing his gaze back up. Then how was she with someone else? How could she be in a relationship if she hadn't moved on? He watched as she buried her face in her hands, his brows knitting slightly over red eyes. “I wanted to… I wanted to forget you. It was the only way to get rid of the pain. Charlie came to visit and confessed he’d had feelings for me when we were younger, just like I had for him. So I threw myself at the chance to move on. Anything to get you out of my head.” It was a slap in the face and he hummed with anger. August felt his hands ball into fists at his sides. He knew he had no one to blame but himself. He'd wasted time that could have been spent together with her, reconciling, working past their differences and possibly even, dare he say it, embracing them. But instead like a child she'd run into the arms of an old flame, one who had likely been chomping at the bit. How long had he been waiting for Maxi to be free from her shackles so he could move in? “But Charlie…he just moved to Portland. Before that he was living in London. When we were apart, I…I wondered about you. I couldn’t help it. I was sure you had moved on. And even though I had Charlie…I hated the thought of you with anyone else. Even with the way you hurt me, I couldn’t stand anyone else having you. People who have moved on don’t have thoughts like that.” Then why had she ruined this so completely! August hated her for doing it, but it only made him want her back more, as if he had something to prove. Fuck this Charlie! August wanted nothing more than to destroy him, even though deep down he knew she would probably be happier with a man like that. He'd loved her when they were young, her family probably adored him, hell they were all old friends! They were the same kind and surely Charlie wasn't embarrassed about being with her. Hell, he'd moved across an ocean and a continent just to be with her! It all only slightly deterred him, though. Whether she deserved him or not, August was a selfish man and wanted what he wanted. It was more than want.. he needed Maxine. She was his, she would always be his. His little gazelle..

“I don’t know what to do, August. Charlie moved back for me, but…I can’t forget about you. I just can’t…” He took a bold step closer, staring to close the gap between them. "Then don't." His voice was weak and raspy, filled with emotion that made his throat close, the words working hard to escape. "I want you to be happy, Maxine. I do, you know I do.. and you know how selfish I am." He swallowed, tacking another tentative step towards her. "I've made you happy before. I can again. I will.." Every word was laced with desperation, a strange characteristic for August Witt's voice. Another small, unsure step began to truly close the space between them. "Whatever you want, you can have. Whatever your desire, I will fulfill it." He gulped, reaching for her hand and touching it gently, his eyes pleading. "I'm yours, Maxine. I always have been.. I always will be. Please.." A sad sort of smile creased his lips as the corners of his eyes moistened with the tears that still threatened. "You see? You have me begging you. I can get on my knees if you prefer." It was a gentle tease, but if she wanted him to, he would.

[MAXINE MCMANUS]

August suddenly stepped much closer and Maxi and she stiffened slightly, not sure that she wanted him to be too close. “Then don’t.” Her heart throbbed painfully at the way his throat choked his voice, never having heard emotion like that in his voice before. “I want you to be happy, Maxine. I do, you know I do…and you know how selfish I am.” She did and she wished she could hate him for it right now. This would hurt Charlie so much…August stepped closer and she stayed put, tense and holding his gaze through her tears. “I’ve made you happy before. I can again. I will…” How could she resist the pleading tone in August’s voice? She’d never heard him so desperate before. He was steadily closing the distance between them. “Whatever you want, you can have. Whatever your desire, I will fulfill it. Her heart was pounding, her tears coming faster as his hand found its way around hers. “I’m yours, Maxine. I always have been…I always will be. Please…” His small smile was sad, the tears at the corners of his reddening eyes drawing more of her own and literally tugging at her heart. He was so sincere and showing more of his heart than he had ever shown her. It was becoming clear there was no choice. Charlie would be deeply hurt if she broke up with him. They might never be friends again, but he would move on. She couldn’t say the same for August—not anymore. If she turned him away, it would damn near kill him. And she knew she would regret it for the rest of her life.

“You see? You have me begging you. I can get on my knees if you prefer.” Maxi had to drop her head as emotion overcame her, bringing her free hand to her mouth as she held in her sobs. Poor Charlie…how selfish she had been. He’d been reluctant to ruin their friendship and he was right to be so. Why had she ever ignored him? Now she had ruined their lifelong friendship. It broke her heart to know this moment with August was the turning point for a slew of her friendships. Her sister, her only family, would be so disappointed. Drew would be too. She couldn’t stand the thought of not talking to Jamie for a while. So many hopes rested on her relationship with Charlie. But she couldn’t ignore this. She couldn’t turn August away. Especially not as he began to kneel in front of her, still holding her hand. She finally sucked in a sharp breath, sobbing softly for a few breaths after. Their eyes met and she knew once and for all that she couldn’t turn him away. Not now, not ever. She had proved on numerous occasions that she lived for this man. He was now proving that he also lived for her.

“Oh, August…” she whimpered, sinking to her knees as well. As she got down to his level, her arms reached out and wrapped around his shoulders. In a matter of heartbeats, August was pulling her tightly to him and she was sobbing into his neck, squeezing as tightly as she dared. One of her hands buried in his dark copper hair as his smell filled her nose. All of the intense, aching pain of missing him flooded through her as he held her so tight she thought they might meld together. Her nose brushed along his stubbly jaw as they simultaneously pulled apart in search for each other’s mouths. She swore she felt tears on his cheeks as their lips met in a desperate, consuming kiss. But maybe it was just the dampness of her own flushed face. The whole world was lost in that kiss. Both hands were buried in his hair before one slid behind his ear, her thumb brushing along his cheekbone. She had never ached so much for someone in her whole life. “I love you…” she cooed into his lips before they devoured hers once again. She could never love Charlie the way she loved August. Her Gargoyle had stolen her heart the night they met and she hadn’t seen it since.

[AUGUST WITT]

He could see the way his words were affecting her. August knew how manipulative he was being, asking so much from her; another chance. Where it might not have been a big deal a few months ago, now it seemed to be a major decision. A man had moved practically halfway across the world to be with her! Then again, she shouldn't have put Charlie in that position. August couldn't feel bad for that, for her inability to cope on her own. She wasn't strong enough to and though he faulted her for it, he couldn't necessarily be angry with her. She was gentle and kind, and for all intents and purposes, a little weak. It wasn't her fault, it was simply who she was, and though traits like that may have turned him off at some point in his life, he valued them now. He valued her now. He loved her kindness, her gentle disposition. He loved how he felt so completely in control with her. Not that he controlled her, but that she willingly gave into him, his every desire. She was strong willed, but in the end she couldn't deny him and he loved that in her. There was very little he didn't love about Maxine.

August sank slowly to the ground, coming to his knees with her hand still in his, holding it loosely but clearly not letting go. He felt guilty for putting her in this situation, for the tears that ran down her cheeks, for the ones threatening to run down his. “Oh, August…” His heart ached at the way she said it, not sure if that was the last time he'd hear her say that or the first of many. He hoped the first of many as she sank to the ground, her arms reaching around his shoulders. He drew her against his body, drinking her in as he held her tight. It felt so right to have her there in his arms, so much so he was unsure he could ever let go. He never wanted to again. Her body shook with her sobs, her face moist as she cried into his neck. He didn't care, though. He was grateful just to have her in his arms. The way Maxine slipped her fingers through his hair made chills creep down his spine. It was her signature move and all it did was make him want her even more. The tears finally spilled down his cheek in fat, heavy droplets. Why had he waited so long? When he felt her nose trail up his jaw he turned his face, seeking the part of her he desired most; her lips.

August had never kissed anyone so deeply in all his life. It was more than the sensual kisses they'd shared in the past. This one was full of apologies, remorse, desire and need. A hand slipped free from her frame to grab at the nape of her neck, refusing to let her pull away, silently begging to never stop. Didn't she know how much he needed her? “I love you…” A sharp breath rattled into his lungs as he let his lips drop away, his eyes shut tightly as he rested his forehead against hers, one hand keeping her close while the other cradled her neck. "I love you, too." He croaked, opening red eyes to meet hers. "I'm so sorry, baby.." He didn't care that he sounded like a cliche, and in the years following, if she took him back, he would likely never break down like this in front of her again, but it was important now that she see how fragile he was. How she was the glue that had come to keep him together. "I love you." He whispered before pressing his lips to hers again, his body shaky with emotion he so seldom felt. "I love you.." He repeated in a shaky voice before kissing her deeply.

"Come back to me.."

[MAXINE MCMANUS]

Maxi opened her eyes halfway, watching August’s closed eyes as he took in a sharp breath and rested his forehead to hers. One hand held the nape of her neck steady and through her slowing tears, she could see the ones on his cheeks. It only drew more tears to her eyes. “I love you, too.” All other words caught in her throat as his reddened eyes opened to hers. “I’m so sorry, baby…” He meant it. She could hear the sincerity of his words as they bubbled up from his heart and she sobbed softly. How could August’s apology bring her such happiness and such bitter pain all at once? How could she break Charlie’s heart like this? “I love you.” It was because she couldn’t deny August when he said those words. Their lips came together again and her eyes slipped closed against the guilt tearing at her heart. “I love you…” Her chest ached with those words being showered on her, their kisses stealing her breath away. Nothing proved that love to her more than his actions here tonight. No one could love her the way he did.

“Come back to me…” The words spoken against her lips with such pleading drew a shaky breath from her as the gravity of her situation washed over her. Her hands moved from his hair to his cheeks, cupping his face while she kissed him again. She needed to settle her future before she could reconcile her past. When she pulled her mouth from his again, Maxi leaned back enough to gaze into his eyes. Her look was serious as she considered her answer. There was no denying how much she loved this man. But she couldn’t let something come between them again. This was the last time she could handle the pain of losing him. “I don’t want to end up back here again, August. I know we’re going to fight, but I can’t lose you again.” It was a good start. She combed her fingers through his dark copper hair affectionately, holding his stormy gaze.

“I need to know that this is it. Someday I want to get married and have a family. I know that’s something I can have with Charlie—he wants that too. So if I come back to you, I need to know that it’s a possibility for us too. I don’t mean that it all needs to be in the near future—it can wait for ten years if that’s what you need.” Her hands slid from his hair, over his cheeks, and rested on his chest, her kneeling form still pressed flush against his. There was color in her cheeks from the embarrassment of talking about marriage and kids with August. But she needed to know. Her head cocked a little to the side, her heart pounding as she feared the next step. It would be painful regardless—either she would lose August for the last time or she would be obligated to cut ties with Charlie. Her eyes were filled with uncertainty as they bore into August’s. “Is that a future I can hope for with you, August?”

[AUGUST WITT]

The warmth of her hands on his cheek soothed him, a silent promise she loved him, she always would, her lips drawn to his once more. It felt so right to be like this with her, even if he was out of his element discussing his feelings and needs. He hated it, but if it would bring her back into his life he would deal with it. It would be a difficult transition but he would do it willingly for this all to end.

Maxi pulled back and his stormy eyes opened once more, that pleading look never ceasing. If devotion was what she wanted, she would get it now. The serious look on her face worried him on some level. Surely she couldn't deny him now, could she? She admitted to loving and missing him, kissed him, fell apart for him the way she always did.. “I don’t want to end up back here again, August. I know we’re going to fight, but I can’t lose you again.” His brows furrowed slightly. Did she think he would give her up so easily again? After such a confession? She stroked his hair in the adoring way she always did, and he wondered if she understood how difficult it had been for him to put his pride aside and quite literally beg her to come back to him. He could hold a grudge until the end of time, and would do so willingly in most instances, but she had to know this gesture wasn't made lightly. “I need to know that this is it. Someday I want to get married and have a family." August felt his heart begin to pick up pace once more. Marriage was one thing, he would do that, but children? He'd never seen himself as a father. Not that he was necessarily against children, children were great when they belonged to someone else, but he didn't have the patience for a baby, for a stubborn little shit like himself. He'd adored his father as a boy, but did he want someone to shore him the same adoration? "I know that’s something I can have with Charlie—he wants that too. So if I come back to you, I need to know that it’s a possibility for us too. I don’t mean that it all needs to be in the near future—it can wait for ten years if that’s what you need.” He loathed how she brought Charlie back into this, almost dangling her other lover in front of his face like that. It was a cruel game and he tried not to be too cross with her. He knew he'd done it to himself. He'd left her broken and vulnerable and that little shit swooped in just at the right moment.

Maxi's fingers sipped back down to his cheeks and then down his chest, playing him like a violin. She knew he couldn't resist her touch, he'd never been able to. His own hands slid to her waist, holding her closer as he contemplated his answer in his mind. “Is that a future I can hope for with you, August?” He was stuck. Damned if he did, damned if he didn't. Having children wasn't something he necessarily wanted, but if it meant having Maxi then it might not be so bad. She would be good with children though, and he imagined she would do the brunt of the work. He wouldn't need to do much with them, would he? It might be nice to have a son, though a daughter wasn't exactly something he'd want. He could never connect with a little girl, and any daughter of theirs would grow up to be bombshell and he wasn't sure he could handle watching someone treat her the way he treated Maxi. Yes, he loved her, but he hurt her too and he wasn't exactly gentle in the bedroom.

It took him a while to answer, considering it all in his mind before finally nodding. "If marriage and a family are what you need to be happy with me, then it shall be." He offered in his raspy voice, still strained from the emotion of the evening. "See?" A forced smile danced across his lips as he reached up to cup her cheek. "I can be reasonable.." He leaned in to peck her lips gently, lingering a moment before murmuring against her lips. "By children you mean one, yes?"

[MAXINE MCMANUS]

August’s hands slid to her waist as Maxi waited anxiously for his answer. She had been able to see herself married to August with two children for quite some time, but she knew that wasn’t a future he had ever really considered. He wasn’t the marrying kind, at least not when she met him. It would be hard for him to see a different kind of future. Would it be possible? Or was he simply too old to change his mind? She found her breath caught in her chest as she realized this was the turning point for her future. Would she go back to August or stay with Charlie? “If marriage and a family are what you need to be happy with me, then it shall be.” Her heart pounded. Really? She could be Mrs. Witt…mother to his children. It was so hard to believe and yet just the thought of those dreams coming true made a smile break out across her face. For just a moment, she didn’t think about the consequences of going back to August. She could only think about how happy it would make her. That was what she needed to focus on in order to continue on this path.

“See?” A smile danced across his lips. It was forced, but it made her happy as his hand rested against her cheek. “I can be reasonable…” She smiled even more, amused at his joke. It only took four months for him to become this reasonable…but she would keep that comment to herself. Their lips met in another brief kiss and it felt so natural, so right, that Maxi didn’t second guess her choice. “By children you mean one, yes?” She smiled wider against his lips, opening her eyes to his once more. “Two.” He reluctantly agreed and she kissed him again. “Deal.” Her smile was bright, her arms wrapping about his shoulders gently. She had just negotiated her future as Mrs. Witt, mother to two little Witts. She didn’t know when it would happen or how, but she knew there was no future she wanted more. Even if it meant she would lose Charlie forever, this was her choice. She could be content with that.

Her lips met August’s again in another loving kiss, following him as he pulled her to her feet. She didn’t realize how long they had been kneeling until she felt the ache in her knees when standing again. The ache didn’t bother her while kissing August, though. He pulled her in close and her head spun with the excitement of their deepening kiss. As much as she wanted to give in and let August have his way with her for the first time in four months, she couldn’t do that. Not to Charlie. Reluctantly, she pulled her lips away, taking August’s face in both hands as she rested her forehead to his. “Give me a couple days to set things right. Then I promise I’m all yours.” Hopefully he wouldn’t make this any harder on her than it needed to be. She had a long couple days ahead of her.

[AUGUST WITT]

“Two.” August raised a brow, seeing the amused smile on her face and then shook his head as a long sigh slipped through his lips. He could handle two.. it wouldn't be that bad.. "Fine. Two but no more." Her lips came to his and he suddenly realized he would have agreed to ten if it meant she was his forever. “Deal.” Maxine all but purred against his lips. He was content knowing that she was his once more, that all he needed to do was give her a ring and two children to keep her happy. Really, it wasn't all that much to ask for.. Even as he thought it he knew it was. For him, anyway. He was willing to change it all for a girl. A girl who wasn't even his kind. Eponine would be so pleased.

August planted a last kiss on her lips before pulling her back to her feet, feeling his own rubbery legs beneath him. He didn't care; he had Maxine and that's all that mattered anymore. His fingers slipped through her hair before sliding in at the nape of her neck, his other hand cradling her cheek as he brought her in for a loving kiss, this one feeling more natural as they stood there. How many times had he kissed her just this way in that very spot. It was comforting; a piece of their past gluing them back together. His tongue slid against her parting lips, hungry to have more of her, needing her in every way a person could need another, but she was pulling away.

Her hands cradled his face, her forehead pressed to his, and his heart sank with frustration. Why was she pulling back? What more needed to be discussed? “Give me a couple days to set things right. Then I promise I’m all yours.” His brows furrowed gently and he scowled. He hated that she was making him wait longer, not nearly as patient as he should be, but he also understood. That didn't mean he liked it. "Call me when you wake, then." He instructed gently, pecking her lips as his hands moved down to her hips instead. "And tomorrow evening as well. The second all is set right come over. I have a lot of pampering to catch up on." All he wanted was to slip his ring on and hold her all night, not bothering to sleep a wink. He'd be content to watch her sleep simply knowing she was his. She didn't argue, though he could tell she was still somewhat sullen from the task at hand. He felt sad she was in this predicament, but he didn't necessarily feel sorry for her. She'd done this to herself though he'd never admit that out loud. He knew it would only start a fight and he wasn't interested in fighting with her, not after he'd put his pride on the line making up with her.

His lips found hers once more, lingering for a moment before breathing a soft "I love you." Against her lips. He pulled away, his eyes locked on hers as he stepped back towards the door. Though he was leaving he still felt a huge weight lifted. Maxine was his; the rest would fall into place.

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