Monsters Under The Bed

[DANI DRAKE]

Dani’s wrists couldn’t hold all of the weight being put on them. If it was anything other than a mattress beneath her, they might have snapped beneath her brother’s hands. Her tiny body trembled like a leaf as Victor leaned down over her, pressing his mouth to her ear. His hot breath only made her stomach twist violently. “You know what happens now. Don’t even think about fighting back this time.” She screamed when she felt it inside her, invading her roughly, stretching the part of her that wasn’t grown enough for this. Over and over his hips pounded into her, each one drawing an agonized sob while her tears leaked into her dark hair. The pressure on her left wrist immediately disappeared just before knuckles smacked across her mouth smartly. She didn’t bother opening her eyes, blood trickling into her mouth. Again the weight was on her, her brother’s mouth at her other ear. “Keep it down. You know it gets worse when you’re loud.” It hurt so much and all she could do was bite her lip and hope it would be over soon. Please let it be over soon…

Dani shot up in bed with a gasp, her body covered in sweat. It was dark, so dark. Where was the light? Where was she? There was movement beside her and she jumped, realizing she was on a bed. A man’s hand grabbed her elbow. Victor. It had to be Victor. “No!” she screamed, bringing her free hand around and pounding down on someone’s solid chest. She struggled, twisting out of those large hands and shrieking, her hands repeatedly thudding against his upper body. Then she heard her name in the dark. “Dani! Dani, it’s okay!” It wasn’t Victor’s voice. Heart pounding and adrenaline pumping, she stopped thrashing to place the sound. Sam. It was Sam. A light clicked on and her wide, panicked eyes squinted to adjust. When she was done blinking, she could see the concern written all over his face. That beautiful, warm face…tears rushed to her eyes when she saw the red marks of where she’d hit him. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” she gasped, her heart still pounding as she began to tremble. She covered her face with her hands and began to cry in earnest. Two strong arms came around her and she curled into Sam’s warm body, his solidity steadying her as she trembled. No matter how many times he told her it was okay, she didn’t believe it. Sam deserved a girl who wouldn’t have nightmares and have such violent reactions. But God did it feel good to have him there with her…

“I dreamt that Victor was…he was raping me again. It was just like when it happened. So real…” Her voice was choked with tears and Sam held her tighter. He shushed her, reassured her, and soon Dani’s arms twisted around his lean body. She pressed her face into his chest, the smell of his skin all the comfort she needed. Why did she have these dreams out of nowhere? And then she remembered—it wasn’t out of nowhere. Today was the day her parents died. She’d been dreading it all week, but now the day was here. It was Saturday, so she didn’t have to take the day off this year. Sam would want to be by her side all day, but she’d never been good at sharing this day with anyone. He would understand when she told him. But she wouldn’t bring it up just yet. Not in the middle of the night when she had shocked him out of sleep.

Pulling back gently, Dani looked into Sam’s handsome face, bringing a hand up to his cheek. He wiped her tears with his thumbs and she gave a small smile. “Thank you for being so understanding.” A kiss landed on her lips, soft and gentle, a reminder that Victor would never hurt her again. When his lips pulled away, she opened her eyes again and gave another curve of her lips. “I love you.” They’d been saying it for months and it still never got old. She still wanted to shout from the rooftops how much she loved Sam Holder. Her fingers raked through his auburn hair, adoring him with every second that he continued to chase her fears away. She was still shaken, but Sam was there to protect her.

[SAM HOLDER]

Life as Dani's partner was nothing and also like everything Sam had expected it to be. She was kind and strong, but at times timid and vulnerable. In privacy, when it was only them and her walls she had built to promote reverence were down, she became someone different. She was gentle. She was pure. She was scared. She was so breathtakingly beautiful in every single way, and Sam fell harder for her with each passing moment. He never smothered her with his adoration, preferring to keep it well hidden for her sake, but she knew. There was no way she couldn't tell, not with the way he watched her longingly even though she was already his. Sam never tired of being in her presence, and truly felt every second with such a fascinating woman was a gift. He'd never felt like this towards anyone, and knew one day he wanted to marry her, despite her many skeletons.

She'd been upfront with him. He knew her background and he kept it confidential, but he also knew there were things he didn't know, and truth be told he preferred it that way. A part of him died inside when he heard the stories of her youth, hating that anyone could be so cruel to such a docile human. Who could harm Dani? He knew it was because Victor wasn't well, a trait that had been passed down for generations, a trait he silently feared could pass on to their offspring were they ever to have them, but he never spoke of that fear. She had enough disappointment in life to worry about things like that.

He'd gotten used to some of her quirks, though others still surprised him. She was constantly surprising him.. just when he thought he knew her, something would set her off and he would be left feeling lost and helpless once more. It wasn't often, and never severe enough to not fix, but it put him in a vulnerable place. He'd learned to comfort her though, and Sam could see her turning more and more to him for solace. Even with, there were times when there was little he could do to rectify a situation; like when she was dreaming..

Dani made soft, muffled noises of distress in her sleep, her body twitching. It was the first telltale signs of a nightmare, one that Sam wanted to wake her from, but knew better. He'd woken her before and it had scared her half to death. It took quite some time to calm her down after that and he vowed to never rouse her again, hoping it would pass and she would slip back into peacefulness. Tonight wasn't one of those nights, though. She shot up suddenly, air filling her lungs in a sharp intake. He instinctively reached for her, his fingers curling gently around her shoulder, and he knew immediately it as a bad move.

“No!” she screamed, her fists coming down on his chest as she struggled to pull away from him, which she succeeded in quickly. "Dani!" Her fists came down harder on him and he tried to wriggle away and stay near at the same time. "Dani, it’s okay!” The realization that he was himself had settled in and her flailing arms stopped long enough for him to reach over and click the lamp on. Her eyes immediately squinted, her hair a messy tangle framed around her delicate features. Her eyes focused finally and he saw the tears form as the scene sank in. “I’m sorry!" She choked and his heart sank, never once having been upset with her, not even for hitting him so hard. "I’m so sorry!” She buried her face into her cradled hands and it was all he could take. He hesitated a moment before wrapping her in a gentle embrace, pulling her trembling body into his. "It's alright, Dani.. You're fine.. we're fine.." He hushed, his hands running comfortingly up and down her side, nuzzling his face into her sweet smelling hair. Hoe he wished he could protect her from herself..

“I dreamt that Victor was…he was raping me again. It was just like when it happened. So real…” Sam gulped, that familiar queer feeling in his stomach coming back and making him nauseous. "It wasn't real.. it won't ever be real again. Ever.." He promised, holding her tighter. "I won't ever let anyone hurt you." He promised in a raspy whisper, a promise he intended to keep at all costs. He shooshed her softly as she cowered in his arms, finally pulling away just enough to look up into his face, his own tilting to look into those deep, sorrowful eyes. Her fingers traced his cheek and he moved his own hand to brush her tears away. In return she offered a weak smile. “Thank you for being so understanding.” She kissed him softly and his heart broke over again. "I love you." He promised softly, which was his answer to why he put up with it all so willingly. Sam would have it no other way. “I love you.” She repeated, her fingers combing through his hair. He reached up, catching her wandering hand in his and bringing it to his lips, gracing each knuckle with a small, tender peck. "Let's try and go back to sleep." He offered a weak smile and she agreed. He turned just enough to switch the lamp off, and then came back to his love, wrapping her tight in his embrace before hunkering down again for the remainder of the night.

Sam drifted off quickly, content with the feel of Dani's even breathing against his chest, the fragrant smell of her hair wafting towards him all night. When he woke again the sun was peaking through the curtains. It was going to be a nice day! Dani was still asleep and he laid there watching her a long time, wishing she could always be as at peace as she was in that moment. His heart ached for her, hating those nightmare episodes, loathing her brother for torturing her the way he had. Sam planted a tender kiss on her forehead, making her stir a little. Not wanting to wake her yet, he wiggled his way slowly out of bed, grabbing his pajama pants and pulling them on before heading out of the room towards the bathroom, wondering about all the wonderful things they could do today to take her mind off of her rough night.

[DANI DRAKE]

Sam reached up to take Dani’s hand in his, pressing his lips to each white knuckle with a tenderness that brought tears to her eyes. How had she found such a kind man? “Let’s try and go back to sleep.” Dani forced a weak smile in response to his and nodded, even though she wasn’t sure she would be able to go back to sleep. As Sam reached for the light, Dani wiped the tears from her cheeks and eyes. The darkness fell, deep and close with such finality that it made her heart jump in fright. But within moments, Sam’s arms came about her and Dani sighed gently as they fell back to the bed. Draping one arm over his stomach and one leg over his, her head rested heavily on Sam’s chest. It only took minutes for Sam’s breathing to become deep and soft, his chest slowly rising and falling as she stared into the darkness. When her big eyes fluttered shut, within seconds her brother’s face would flash before her eyes, startling her back into wide-eyed wakefulness. She couldn’t sleep now. So instead she stared into the darkness until her eyes adjusted to the sliver of dim light coming in through her drapes from the garden lights outside. Soon enough, she was able to discern Sam’s well-defined features in the darkness, no matter how vague they seemed now. She studied the lines of his face that she could see. Her fingers came up to his mouth to brush along the line of his thick bottom lip. His breath was warm and sweet, just like him. He would never hurt her, never make her cry—not on purpose. He was everything her brother wasn’t and she couldn’t imagine loving him more for it. The night was only safe now because he was with her. Slowly her eyes slid closed and this time her brother’s face didn’t appear…

Soft lips touched her forehead, coaxing her from sleep. Dani only snuggled in closer, warm and comfortable beneath her covers. She didn’t want to wake yet. Just let her continue to sleep…Some of the warmth escaped as the person she was wrapped around stole away from her, but curling the blankets around her tighter seemed like a fair compromise. Drifting once again, Dani slid quickly back into soft sleep…The meadow she rode through was lush and fluttering with life and the soft whistling of the wind. Silver trotted slowly through the tall grass, swaying Dani side to side. But what as that feeling in her saddle? It was like something piercing through her…Looking down, her hands didn’t hold any reins but rather her brother’s hands. He was leering up at her as she swayed over him, the saddle and the grass melting away into silken sheets. “That’s it. Don’t be so stiff.”

Gasping, Dani immediately snapped awake and flung herself from her pillow. Bile rose in her throat and it took several moments of gathering herself before she could fight back the sickness. Breathing deep, she reminded herself that it was just a dream and the sun had returned. Heady relief washed over her to see the golden rays flooding her room. A smile gently curved her lips. She looked around the room but found no sign of Sam. Maybe he was in the bathroom. Slipping from beneath the covers and the bed, she quickly found her oversized sleep shirt and threw it on before trudging out of the room. No Sam in the bathroom. The smell of coffee caught her nose and she knew where he must be: the kitchen. A small smile softened her mouth again as she made her way downstairs. She wanted to press herself to Sam’s tall, lanky frame once more just to feel the comfort of his warmth seep into her. The thought consumed her completely as she floated towards the kitchen in a still sleepy daze.

[SAM HOLDER]

Sam checked in on the sleeping girl before making his way downstairs. Last thing he wanted was to pull her from her slumber. She'd had a rough night with her nightmare, and she had to be up plenty early in the morning during the week. This was her chance to recuperate a little, and he not only respected that, but encouraged it. She wouldn't always be allowed to sleep in on the weekends. He hoped one day she would be blessed with a family, and he truly hoped it was with him. The thought of being with her forever was a nice one. He'd recently moved jobs to say with her and had finally told his grandfather about her being in his life. Of course he was scolded for dating his boss, but in the end he was pleased he'd made such a wise choice; grandfather had been fond of Dani's family, even if Sam himself was not. He knew far too many secrets, but of course he would let his grandfather have his own opinions. Dani's demons were her own, as were his, and no one's business but theirs.

Sam crept downstairs and looked around for what he could make for breakfast. He wasn't the best cook, but he could certainly make a mean omelet. That is, he would if there were eggs in the fridge. His lips pursed to the side as he considered what else he could make. Pancakes needed eggs, french toast needed eggs, eggs needed eggs.. It looked like she was getting low on milk, too. He figured he'd call in for breakfast; there had to be someplace that delivered! He searched his mind before he remembered that Dylan's delivered! He started a pot of coffee and then went looking for his phone. Had he left it Dani's bedroom? "Hmm.." He was about to go back upstairs when he remembered it was in the living room. With his pants.. He hoped Jonah didn't notice his pants laying around, that would be a little embarrassing. He went into the other room and tugged his phone out, pulling up Dylan's website, which had an online ordering system. This, of course, sounded much better as he could be quite while ordering their breakfast. He ordered the apple and cheddar omelet, and the berry stuffed french toast, deciding a little sweet and savory would be good. Dani would be sure to like both and they could split, or if she would rather one over the other Sam was fine with that too. Just a nice morning with her was enough, especially since all he wanted for breakfast was her. Again and again.. He wondered when the bliss of their relationship would wear off and he could be satiated for more than five minutes. Hopefully, never, but he wasn't naive enough to believe that. There wasn't a single thing he didn't love about her. Except maybe her past.. the nightmares were hard to deal with, but they weren't her fault. He never blamed her for the bruises she inflicted, and he often tried to hide them from her so as not to frighten or upset her. He'd even lied a couple of times about where a bruise had come from. He hated lying, but he hated seeing that moist, guilty red eyed look she gave him more.

Sam shut his phone and slipped it back in his pants pocket, folding them and placing them on the couch when he heard the familiar sound of footsteps in the hall. He crept back towards the kitchen, unsure if it was Dani or Jonah. Luckily, it was Dani, and he silently watched her a moment, grinning slightly at the way her lithe body moved so gracefully across the floor, like a cat, trying not to make a sound. She was wearing the long shirt he liked, just long and baggy enough to not reveal anything, even curves, but short and low cut enough to get him going every time. He sneaked in behind her, just as she was opening the cabinet to grab a coffee mug. He caught her there, his hand reaching to clasp around her fingers before they could find the ceramic mug, his other hand wrapping around her waist and pulling her body into him as he held her hand up on the cabinet, pressing his hardening length against her. Her body was so warm, so fragrant, and maybe just a little too rigid.. A soft chuckle rumbled in his throat in way of greeting as his face pressed playfully into her neck, the hand around her slowly creeping upwards.. He wondered how late Jonah could sleep in.

[DANI DRAKE]

Not seeing Sam in the kitchen, Dani figured he couldn’t be too far and would wander back in within minutes. Though she longed to twine her arms around him and press her face into his chest, she could settle for some warm coffee. She reached up on tiptoe to grab a mug from the cabinet. That’s when she felt it. A presence swooped in behind her, a strong arm wrapping about her waist as a firm hand caught hers before it could grab the mug. Her heart stopped in pure fear. The hand pressed hers against the cabinet, the arm pulling her back into the firm body of a man. His hard shaft pressed into her backside and a sick feeling rose in her throat as her stomach clenched. It couldn’t be…A rumbling chuckle sounded behind her and she swore what she heard was the cruel laughter she thought would never haunt her again. Every muscle in her body tensed, gasping lightly as the man’s face pressed into her neck. His hand was creeping upwards beneath her nightshirt and it felt as though her skin was crawling. It couldn’t be him…it couldn’t be Victor. Fear forced her to either fight or run—she wanted to run, but she would have to fight in order too. Spinning quickly and suddenly, her eyes looked up into her brother’s snakelike face.

“Nooooooo!!” she screeched, pounding on his chest, squeezing her eyes shut against the horrifying vision. But he wouldn’t let her go! He just squeezed her tighter, just like he always did! How could he be here?! She’d seen his dead body! “Let me go!!” she cried in desperation before finally she was able to slip away. Tears were slipping onto her cheeks unbidden, frantic in her terror. She dashed out into the hall and her foot caught on the Oriental rug. Crashing to the intricately designed surface, she flipped herself over and began scrambling back from the figure approaching her. Sweat had broken out all over her body, panting with how hard and fast her heart was pumping. Jonah came bursting through a back door and was soon rushing his way toward the sound of her panicked breathing. But she had realized his presence wasn’t needed. It was Sam coming toward her, fear and dismay written all over his face. How could she have ever mistaken him for Victor? Because he had acted just like him. He had snuck up on her just like Victor would and tried to take advantage of her. Immediately the acid began to boil in her stomach.

Sam offered her a hand to help her off the floor and Dani smacked it away. “Don’t touch me!” she snapped, scrambling back from him further with pure anger on her face. She pushed herself to her feet, glaring at Sam. “Don’t ever sneak up on me like that again! Victor used to do that to me! He thrived on my fear and took sick, twisted pleasure in terrifying me! You made me think—!” She stopped to sob and press a hand to her forehead, her entire body trembling uncontrollably now. He made her think Victor was back from the dead to terrorize her again on this already traumatic day. She saw the blood pooling beneath her mother, her dead sea-green eyes staring blankly at her daughter hidden under the bed. Dani cringed, taking another step back and forcing her eyes open. No matter what she did, she couldn’t escape her ghosts today. Her hands clutching her head were becoming hot—she couldn’t control her power right now. She needed to get away. Sam couldn’t see this part of her. Darting for the stairs, she took them two at a time and ignored the sound of her name chasing after her. She ran until she was at the door to her parents’ room. There she slammed the door behind her and locked herself in. The grandiose bed in the center of the room, high, regal and imposing was the perfect hiding place, even now. She fell to her knees and slid her body beneath the heavy mattress, thin and lithe enough to be quite comfortable there. The vent beneath the bed enveloped her in cool air and she curled into a ball against the wall and cried her heart out into her hands. Would she never heal from the scars inflicted on her so long ago?

Downstairs, Jonah had seen the entire scene unfold. He didn’t know what Sam had done to spark that reaction in Dani, but he knew it wasn’t his fault. She was more fragile than usual today. Judging from the confused and heartbroken look on Sam’s face, he had no idea of today’s significance. Jonah had seen Sam as a threat before, but he had since come to respect the boy for his patience with Dani. It was obvious after all of these months that Sam loved Dani deeply and had no intention of hurting her. He uncocked his gun and placed it back in the holster at his side, smoothing his hand through his still wet hair. He’d just gotten dressed when he heard Dani’s shrieking. Walking to Sam’s side, he place a heavy hand on his shoulder. “Let’s have some coffee. There’s a part of Dani’s past that I think you should know that she hasn’t told you yet. She’ll be alright for now. She just needs time.” He hoped the boy would take him up on his offer.

[SAM HOLDER]

The sweet moment Sam was having turned sour in a matter of seconds. Dani spun around her fists pounding hard on his chest as she screeched “Nooooooo!!” Sam was frozen in shock, horrified at what was unfolding. It was one thing for her to be so frightened in the middle of the night when she was asleep, but here? Now? She was awake! "Dani, Dani!" His voice was weak and frightened, holding her arm and begging her with his motions to look at him, to stop freaking out. “Let me go!!” His shaky fingers released her, panic setting in. This was bizarre, even for her. She'd never had an episode like this! What was going on?

Dani ran like a bat out of hell, heading for the hallway and Sam, after a moment, was hot on her heals. He heard her tumble and a sick feeling rose hot and fierce from his belly to his throat. What was going on? What had he done? Dani flipped onto her back and was practically crab walking away from him, as though he were a monster in a movie. Sam opened his mouth to beg her to stop, terror in his deep, wideset hazel eyes, but Jonah was barging into the hallway, forcing him to jump back in his own terror. The man's gun was drawn and Sam backed away, visibly shaken, into a wall. There he stood, horrified and vulnerable, in nothing more than his boxer briefs and a t-shirt, panting and looking between his girlfriend and her beloved protector. He was the bad guy.. when had he become the bad guy? What had he done?

Though nervous still, he hated seeing Dani like she was and reached a shaky hand to help her to her feet, but she smacked it away, breaking his heart in the process. It had been ages since he'd actually wanted to cry.. “Don’t touch me!” His mouth opened and then shut again, his face paling, making his freckles pop vibrantly across his already fair body. Sam's throat felt dry and raw, his heart actually aching. Surely this was a misunderstanding! Dani got to her feet, looking more furious than he'd maybe ever seen her. “Don’t ever sneak up on me like that again!" Was that what he'd done? Surely she knew he was there.. who else would have made the coffee? He'd been so gentle.. or so he thought.. "Victor used to do that to me! He thrived on my fear and took sick, twisted pleasure in terrifying me! You made me think—!” His head shook from side to side, everything suddenly falling into place. How could she ever think he was like him? Surely she knew he'd never meant to upset her, that he couldn't have known..

The terror he felt subsided into complete remorse for what he'd done. "I'm sorry.." He croaked, but it was like she didn't hear him. Her eyes were pressed shut and she was taking a step away from him. It was horrible watching her hurt so much. "Please.. Dani, I-" What could he say? She was rocketing off towards the stairs, moving faster than he'd ever seen her. "Dani!" He called out in a plea, begging her to stop with the simple word, his voice quivering as tears actually threatened to pour from his face. He'd never felt so helpless, so completely guilty before, and he'd been in a war zone. Nothing compared to this.

A door slammed upstairs and he stood there watching the stairs as if trying to make heads or tails of what had just unfolded. He'd never meant to hurt her, she must know that! The soft sound of footsteps broke him from the thoughts running through his mind as he looked back to Jonah, whose gun was placed securely back where it belonged. The man stayed out of the way of the two of them for the most part, doing his job, but he had long since stopped giving Sam those dirty looks that made him feel unworthy of such a beautiful girl. Sam knew Jonah was looking out for her, afraid that Sam might hurt her and over the months he was beginning to understand more and more why. “Let’s have some coffee. There’s a part of Dani’s past that I think you should know that she hasn’t told you yet." His lips pursed and he looked up at the stairs again, not entirely comfortable with Jonah telling him something without Dani's permission, but truth be told he had no idea what was so special about today, and though he was now curious, he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know. "She’ll be alright for now. She just needs time.” With a heavy heart Sam agreed, morosely following the older man back towards the kitchen. He could use some coffee now.. "I didn't mean to startle her.." He offered in his soft, raspy voice in way of defense. "I just.. I saw her, I thought she knew I was there. I mean.. I snuck up behind her but.. she had to know. I wasn't upstairs, and someone made the coffee.. How could she- her brother is dead." The sinking realization that he could very well lose Dani over this made him feel weak in the knees. How could he make this better? What could he do to make this right? He loved her.. she was the one, he knew it! And now she couldn't even look him in the face.

How had one small mistake cost him everything?

[DANI DRAKE]

Sam was reluctant to follow Jonah. The older man could understand. He probably wasn’t comfortable hearing about Dani’s dark past from someone other than Dani herself, but Jonah knew it was important that the boy know. How could he help Dani if he didn’t know what he was dealing with? And Jonah only wanted Dani to be happy. Over the last several months, he knew Sam was doing that. The girl he’d come to see as his own flesh and blood was blossoming with Sam around. He hadn’t seen her this happy…well, ever. Sam was just what she needed, whether Jonah liked to admit that or not. He had warmed up to the boy, though. His kind heart and sincerity spoke volumes in his favor. Once they were in the kitchen, Jonah gestured for Sam to take a seat and he got down two mugs for them. He filled each cup as Sam began speaking in his raspy voice. “I didn’t mean to startle her…I just…I saw her, I thought she knew I was there. I mean…I snuck up behind her but…she had to know. I wasn’t upstairs, and someone made the coffee…How could she—her brother is dead.” Jonah turned back, bringing both coffees to the island counter where Sam was seated. He pushed the sugar bowl and the jar full of creamer over Sam’s way, but he didn’t put anything in his own coffee. He liked it black.

“Yes, Victor is dead. But you know her nightmares. Victor tortured that poor girl. Had I known the extent of it, I would have stopped him a lot sooner. Thankfully, she went away for college and that gave her the ability to escape his abuse and he was forced to abuse prostitutes instead. Dani can never forget what he put her through. Sometimes the nightmares follow her when she least expects it. But today also has special significance for her.” He took a sip of his coffee, hoping his calm but concerned demeanor was at least able to help sedate Sam’s nerves somewhat. When he set his mug back down, his blue eyes stared directly into Sam’s. “Today marks the day that her parents died.” He let those words sink in, seeing the comprehension washing over Sam’s face. “I’m sure she had a nightmare last night. She often does in the early hours of this anniversary’s morning.” Sam confirmed she had and Jonah nodded. “It’s harder for her to get past the nightmares today. And she usually spends a significant part of today in her parents’ room. Somehow that comforts her, being where it happened.” Taking another sip of coffee, he prepared to delve into the extent of the trauma Dani had seen throughout her relatively short life.

“I’m not sure if you’re aware of how her parents died.” It wasn’t exactly a secret and Sam seemed to know that there was a murder involved, but nothing further than that. Jonah nodded slowly, remembering that night too. He’d been much younger and relatively new to her father’s security detail—that was a night he would never be able to forget. “Her father murdered her mother and then killed himself in their bedroom while Dani hid under the bed. She watched her mother bleed to death and saw her father’s body hit the floor with a bullet in his brain.” Again, he let the words sink in, noticing how pale Sam’s face got. “Dani can tell you the rest. She’s open to talking about it, but right now I think she just needs time to gather herself together. She’s very fragile today.” His wrinkled brow creased as he looked almost sadly to the young man sitting near him. “But don’t feel this is your fault. It has nothing to do with you, Sam. She’s always very jumpy on this day and she’ll apologize later. She’s had to do the same with me before when I scared her. The only thing I ask is that you don’t let this chase you away. She needs you…more than she ever needed me.” The realization made him sad, but he pushed a small smile to his lips. “You give her peace, Sam. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but you do. I haven’t seen her so happy in all of my time knowing her.” He wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it. While he was sure Sam knew that, he hoped it would really sink in just how important he was to Dani. And if he was important to Dani, then he was important to Jonah.

[SAM HOLDER]

Jonah brought the mugs of coffee over and pushed the sugar and cream towards him, but Sam sat stone like, staring blankly at the counter, unable to move really, trying to understand everything still. It just wasn't adding up. “Yes, Victor is dead. But you know her nightmares. Victor tortured that poor girl. Had I known the extent of it, I would have stopped him a lot sooner." It was torture just to hear him speak, and though he hated to listen, he devoured every word. Some of what Jonah said he already knew, but he was filling in some of the gaps in the time line. “Today marks the day that her parents died.” And there it was, the missing piece to his puzzle. He felt ill, his stomach doing strange, uneasy flip flops as the weight of Jonah's last sentence sat heavy on his shoulders. “I’m sure she had a nightmare last night. She often does in the early hours of this anniversary’s morning.” Keeping his gaze away, he slowly nodded. "She did." He offered in a husky croak of a voice, his hands still clasped in front of him, knuckles white. “It’s harder for her to get past the nightmares today. And she usually spends a significant part of today in her parents’ room. Somehow that comforts her, being where it happened.” His eyes finally moved away from the spotted granite to the ceiling, as if he would somehow see her sitting in her parents room. Of course, he wouldn't.

“I’m not sure if you’re aware of how her parents died.” His gaze fell on Jonah, watching him as he remembered what little Dani had told him, but mostly what his grandfather had said. He knew her father killed her mother and then himself, what he didn't know was how he'd killed her, or that Dani, as a small girl, had witnessed the entire thing. He suddenly felt like he might throw up, right then and there. What had he gotten himself into with her? How could he ever be enough for someone who was probably far more broken than she'd ever let on? He wasn't enough. He knew he wasn't.. He felt dizzy, the blood draining from his face as Jonah kept talking about how fragile Dani was today, but it wasn't just today. Dani was fragile everyday..

“But don’t feel this is your fault. It has nothing to do with you, Sam. She’s always very jumpy on this day and she’ll apologize later. She’s had to do the same with me before when I scared her. The only thing I ask is that you don’t let this chase you away. She needs you…more than she ever needed me.” It wasn't true. He didn't want her apologies, he wanted her sanity. He wanted her to not have to feel like this.. he wanted peace for her, not to add to her guilt. How did she need him more? What could he possibly give her that Jonah wasn't already? Even with his combat training, he could never protect her like Jonah, not with his limp and his soft nature. “You give her peace, Sam. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but you do. I haven’t seen her so happy in all of my time knowing her.” Sam's eyes slipped closed and he swallowed the hot bile boiling at the bottom of his throat, threatening to come up. "Nothing gives her peace." He said defeatedly, suddenly feeling so naked and bare there in that kitchen. He was cold and hot at the same time, his stomach cramping uncomfortably. "I should go." It was what Dani wanted. It was what he wanted. And he needed some time for himself, to soul search to figure out what was best for Dani, for him, for them. "Thanks for.. thanks." He told Jonah weakly, making his way into the other room to get dressed, almost glad they'd begun stripping down there. It made gathering his things easier.

Once dressed, Sam left Dani's home with a heavy heart and a heavy mind. He went home, and when that seemed to drive him mad, he went for a ride on Mohammed. It was hard to make any sort of real decision today, not when he felt so completely guilty and helpless. He wished he'd known, maybe things would have been different. He could have been ignorant another year.. they could have solidified their relationship more.. he wouldn't feel so lost, she would have trusted him with this information before the fact. Either way he had to apologize to her, despite how things turned out. In the end, he didn't want to be without her. Sam loved Dani more than any woman he'd even known. She was truly everything he'd ever hoped for, but with so much baggage he genuinely feared he could never be enough. He could never protect her from her demons, and he would always suffer at Victor's hands right alongside her. She would always have nightmares, and she would always fear the warm, heavy body beside her. Nothing could change that. How could Jonah say he brought her peace?

Sam picked out a purple hydrangea bouquet and decided to leave it with Jonah for Dani. He attached a simple card which read I'm sorry. -S in his neat script, and brought it back to Dani's home. It was getting late, the sun setting and shining deep orange in the sky as he parked and brought the flowers to the door. He knocked just loud enough for Jonah to hear and waited patiently with the flowers at his side. When the door open he felt nauseous all over again as Dani's somber face met his. He paled, not expecting to see her, even though it was her home, and he suddenly felt guilty all over again. "I know you don't want to see me right now." His tone was soft, sad and hesitant. "I didn't expect you to answer, I just.." Sam gulped and offered the flowers in a petty apology. "I didn't mean to frighten you earlier. I didn't know about today.. I don't want to hurt you." He was almost pleading and suddenly felt bad simply for being there. "I'm sorry. Here, I'll.. We can talk another time. When you want to.. if.. uh.. Okay." He nodded, pushing the flowers at her and having every intention of leaving now that he'd officially made a bad situation worse.

[DANI DRAKE]

Jonah watched Sam’s eyes slipped closed and he feared the worst for Dani. She would be heartbroken if she lost this man. “Nothing gives her peace.” Jonah gave a heavy sigh through his nose, his already hangdog face more so as he frowned at the boy. He had no idea what he meant to Dani. “I should go. Thanks for…thanks.” Silently Jonah watched the boy slip away, abandoning his barely touched coffee. The older man heard the boy slipping his clothes on in the other room, realizing it was a good thing he didn’t come into the house last night. One thing he didn’t ever want to see was Dani in the middle of “the act” with anyone. There was a sour taste in his mouth as Sam slipped out of the home. He was terrified of what this would do to Dani. She’d already had to fight so hard to come back from all the other tragedies in her life. She didn’t need another thing to survive. In fact, he wasn’t sure she could survive it. He couldn’t handle losing Dani. She was the closest thing he had left to family.

Dani in the meantime was still cowered under the bed. For a long time she simply cried there. All she had wanted so many years ago was to play with her mother’s jewelry box. It played such a beautiful song, which she discovered later was “Masquerade” from Phantom of the Opera. She ran her tiny fingers over the sparkling jewels and the glossy pearls as the music tinkled on. When she heard her parents coming in, she quickly hid under the bed. Daddy could get so mad when he caught her in their room. Once she’d gotten a big bump on the back of her head that she had to lie to her teacher about. Trembling, she listened to her father’s booming accusations about an affair and her other’s pleading. Then a scream and a loud bang that made Dani jump before her whole body shivered again. She remembered her mother’s eyes losing life, the deep red blood seeping from her beautiful body. Then she saw her father’s body collapsing to the ground with cold, dead weight. Blood also pooled around him, the hole in the back of his head oozing all it could. She had been frozen, unsure what to do. When she heard screaming, she didn’t even know it was coming from her. That night, and that night alone, she had been grateful to her brother for his comforting arms. But then there were so many horrors to follow…

It took Dani a couple hours to finally emerge from under the bed. She then went to her mother’s jewelry box and wound it up, crying once more as the lovely music tinkled away. There was a picture frame on the vanity she kept just as her mother left it. It was a picture of her and her mother. The resemblance between them was so strong, except that her mother’s hair had been blonde. Dani wondered what her life would have been like if only she had been able to save her mother. A bottle of her mother’s perfume stood nearby and Dani sniffed it. Closing her eyes, she could remember her mother’s warmth and smell as she held her close. She didn’t know when that had happened, but it was as clear as day in her mind. For an instant, she could almost feel her mother’s arms around her again. Or was it Sam’s touch she was imagining? Guilt washed over her for what she had done to him today. Tears poured down her cheeks as she prayed to whatever being would listen not to let her lose him over this. He was everything that was good in her life—she couldn’t stand to lose him.

By three o’clock, Dani was waking from crying herself to sleep on her parents’ bed. She forced herself from the room finally in order to shower and brush her teeth. Putting on shorts and a T-shirt, she shuffled down the stairs. There was faithful Jonah sitting in the drawing room with a book in hand. He looked up as she came into the room and his kind, concerned smile brought more tears to her eyes. Quickly he got to his feet and wrapped her in a bear hug, rocking her from side to side. She sniffled into his shirt and sobbed. He understood why she was crying now—he knew how frightened she was at losing Sam. If only the boy had stayed. Dani just wished she would be able to make it right.

The day came to a close, Jonah making her a great spaghetti dinner and doing his best to cheer her with memories about the good days together. She smiled, but it was painful to laugh. With the weight of fear in her chest, she just didn’t feel right enjoying herself. She grabbed a book and curled up with it, Jonah respecting her privacy as she did so. Her phone was nearby, but it hadn’t rung all day. But to her surprise, there was a knock at the door. She practically fell off the couch to go answer it, running her hands through her wavy hair to try and calm some of the poof in it. When the door opened, her heart stopped in fear and relief. It was Sam, looking positively stunned to see her.

"I know you don't want to see me right now." That wasn’t true. "I didn't expect you to answer, I just…” She looked down at the flowers in his hand and her eyes glistened with tears. He was worried about her. Even after what she’d done. "I didn't mean to frighten you earlier. I didn't know about today…I don't want to hurt you." She knew that. The tears were just coming too easily today, ready to roll down her cheeks at a moment’s notice. "I'm sorry. Here, I'll…We can talk another time. When you want to…if.. uh…Okay." He pushed the flowers into her hands and made to go. She grabbed his arm before she could stop herself. “Wait!” she gasped. When he looked at her, the tears trickled onto her cheeks. “You don’t have to be sorry, Sam. I should have told you what today was. I should have warned you. I’m so sorry you had to hear all of that from Jonah. And I’m so, so sorry for everything I did last night and this morning. I should never have compared you to Victor. You’re absolutely nothing like him and I’m so, so sorry.” She sobbed, sniffing and wiping her face with her free hand. “You’re the best thing in my life, Sam. I love you so much and I’m so scared of losing you. More than anything, I want you to stay. But I understand…I understand if you can’t handle this anymore. And I won’t blame you.” Just the thought of him leaving her made her tremble and cry more, terrified to think it was over. But she couldn’t make him stay—sometimes the best way to love someone was to let them go. She would let him go if that’s what he needed, no matter how much it would break her heart.

[SAM HOLDER]

Before Sam could really move away, Dani's arm snatched his, tugging gently in an attempt to stop him. “Wait!” she gasped, a plea that would never fall on deaf ears. He did, turning to her and seeing the sorrow written all over her delicate face. Dani had all the innocent features of a girl her age, but there was something mature and intense about her, as though she'd lived far longer than she appeared to have. He knew why.. her youth had been stolen away long ago and she'd been forced to grow up long before she was meant to. “You don’t have to be sorry, Sam. I should have told you what today was. I should have warned you. I’m so sorry you had to hear all of that from Jonah. And I’m so, so sorry for everything I did last night and this morning. I should never have compared you to Victor. You’re absolutely nothing like him and I’m so, so sorry.” Her apologies wrenched his heart, and her tears made it ache. He never thought she had anything to be sorry for, even after her earlier attack. He'd been the one to screw up, though he'd never meant to. And truth was he'd been the one to screw up by moving so quickly with her. He didn't want to lead her on, give her a temporary safety blanket.. Sam loved Dani severely but he was frightened at what that meant for both of them.

“You’re the best thing in my life, Sam. I love you so much and I’m so scared of losing you. More than anything, I want you to stay. But I understand…I understand if you can’t handle this anymore. And I won’t blame you.” His brow furrowed and he slowly shook his head, reaching out wiping her cheek with the palm of his hand before cupping her face gently. "You will never lose me." He assured her softly, his voice far calmer than he felt. Sam stepped closer, pulling the girl into an embrace and allowing her weep into his chest, his nose nuzzling against her temple as he hushed her softly. Slowly, her heaving body slowed down, his hands slowly stroking her hair. He hated seeing her like this. It killed him, yet he knew by being with her he was agreeing to deal with this side of Dani from time to time. He would, but it took an emotional toll on him. He hated seeing her hurt like this, a woman who put on such a strong, fierce facade for the world to see and then crumpled into an emotional ball simply from a nightmare.

"I don't know if I'll ever be enough for you.." He told her weakly, sighing. "But I'm willing to try. I love you too much not to." Their eyes met and he sighed again, pushing her hair from her damp face, admiring every tiny freckle on her pale face. "I can't come back into this house tonight." He told her in a soft, firm voice. The thought of entering her toxic home made him feel sick to his stomach. They'd had their worst fight there, and knowing the horrors that happened within those walls, however many years ago, got to him. "And I don't think you should be here either." It had probably been a long exhausting day for her, and though he knew from Jonah that she liked staying in on this night, he couldn't cave. He couldn't let that sorrow swallow him whole either. "What if.. what if we all go out. Nothing fancy.. a quiet dinner somewhere on neutral ground. Me, you, Jonah.." He was grateful for the older man and wanted to show his appreciation, even if he was still so deeply hurt from earlier. "Then later if you like, you're welcome over. Or.. I can take you home. I'll let you decide." He swallowed, not sure what she'd want to do.

[DANI DRAKE]

Dani’s heart stopped as Sam’s hand came to her cheek, his head shaking from side to side. “You will never lose me.” A wave of relief crashing over her and she let out the breath she hadn’t known she was holding. His arms came around her and she all but fell into him. For a while she simply wept into his chest, her skinny arms looped tightly around her love. He held her and shushed her gently as he nuzzled into her temple. His hands stroked her hair and after some time, Dani calmed, keeping her face buried in Sam’s chest. Just his steady warmth was enough to soothe her fears. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be enough for you. But I’m willing to try. I love you too much not to.” She pulled back and turned up her wide eyes to his. Didn’t he know he was more than enough? He was so much more than she could have ever hoped for. If he could understand what her past relationships were like, he would see how precious he was to her.

“I can’t come back into this house tonight.” And just like that, she was reminded of how deeply she’d hurt him. Her hope curdled slightly in her stomach. “And I don’t think you should be here either.” Again, she was surprised. Oh…he was protecting her. Even now he was protecting her from her nightmares. And she realized that nothing would be better for her peace of mind than putting distance between her and her memory. “What if…what if we all go out? Nothing fancy…a quiet dinner somewhere on neutral ground. Me, you, Jonah…” It was the first time he’d invited Jonah to join them and it warmed her heart. Jonah was so important to her, like an uncle or a father, and she was so happy to see the two most important men in her life getting along. “Then later if you like, you’re welcome over. Or…I can take you home. I’ll let you decide.” She hesitated. It was tradition for her to stay inside and mourn. That was what she had done for over twenty years. But then…she had always been lonely at the end of the day. Tired and cold and escaping her pain by falling asleep. Maybe it was time to change that.

Smiling up at Sam, she nodded. “That sounds wonderful.” Leaning into him, she placed her hands on his cheeks, making sure he was looking at her. “It may not seem like it now, but you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Maybe you can’t heal me completely—I don’t think I’ll ever be whole again. But you love every bit of me that’s left. What more could I ask for, Sam?” Two more tears slipped onto her cheeks before her sad smile widened. “I love you for that. More than anything in the world. I think with time I’ll get better. I’ll try my very best to get better.” And what more could he ask for? She pulled his face down to hers and for a long minute they simply kisses, pouring their love for each other into one another’s mouths. A few minutes later, she had grabbed Jonah and they were off to have dinner outside the city. While sitting around the table with food and wine, she realized she had everything she needed in the world right there with her. She couldn’t ask for more.

-------------------------THE END-------------------------