Then Comes Melanie With The Baby Carriage

[KEVIN WHITFIELD]

Kevin had no idea if he was doing he right thing or not. He barely knew Mel. Well, not barely, they'd known each other for nearly a year and had been dating for most of it. They had even been living together for the last couple months, but was it a long enough ttime to know she was the one he should spend the rest of his life with? In that moment he was sure she was, knowing he could never do better than Melanie and she was carrying his child. Divorce wasn't easy, but it was possible if things got bad. And she wasn't the type to keep his kids from him. No, Melanie had to be the one, he just knew she had to, but God did he wish he had someone reliable to confide in aside from the woman he was proposing to.

With a wide grin, Melanie accepted, blurtIng out an excited "Yes!" and throwing her arms around him with a giggle. He couldn't help but grin, knowing he was adding more stress to his plate, but feeling more like he hdsomeone to actually share the burden with this time. "Yes, yes, yes!" Kevin's arms slid around her, holding her tight as his face nuzzled her shoulder. Was he seriously going to be a husband and father by the end of the year?

Melanie pulled back and so did he, gazing down at her tear streaked face, a huge smile wide on her lip. He was glad he was able to make herso happy, and hoped he always would. "Yes, I'll marry you. And not just because I'm pregnant, but because I love you so much and I want to spend forever with you." His heart ached and his brows furrowed, listening intently to her words. He sighed when her lips met his, his fingers curling through her hairto the back of her head, holding her close as he kissed her deeply. To think the morning started out so dreary.. "I love you.." she whispered against his lips, and he kissed her again, her smile making hims smile. "I love you too, baby.." he whispred after a moment, the hand in hr hair sliding to her stomach as though he expected to feel something there, but it was as flat as ever. How long had it taken Jo to swell?

Melanie pulled back again and his eyes found hers as she nuzzled her nose against his. "And you don't have to get me a fancy ring. You could tie a string around my finger and I would be happy." she smiled and kissed him, but he shook his head. "No, I want to do it right. It won't be fancy, and it might not have a diamond, but you'll love it." He promised. "You deserve that.. to have it done right.." he kissed her again, rubbing her stomach before cupping her face and smiling. "So what should we do today, fiance?"

[MELANIE WHITFIELD]

Kevin’s hand was resting against her still flat stomach and it made Melanie’s heart swell as he shook his head gently. “No, I want to do it right. It won’t be fancy, and it might not have a diamond, but you’ll love it. You deserve that…to have it done right.” She would love it no matter what, but she would let him insist for now. She was too happy to argue about a silly ring right now. He kissed her again and she easily fell into it, cupping his face as he cupped hers. When he pulled away he was smiling and she couldn’t help but smile back. She loved him so much…and now they were having a baby! “So what should we do today, fiancée?” The question made her giggle and she reached up to wrap her arms around his shoulders. “I don’t know, fiancé. We could always just stay here…making up.” She grinned again, a soft blush in her cheeks before she pulled Kevin down into another kiss. It didn’t take long for him to end up between her legs and the rest of the morning passed by in a haze of love and bliss.

_________________________________________________

Melanie was studying herself in the mirror before she went off to work. It was early in the morning—she’d gotten up with Kevin and was now getting ready for another long day. She got tired easily these days and the nausea she lived with daily didn’t help anything. Still, she was getting more excited by the day for the little life growing inside her. Already she was looking at cribs and changing tables, trying to find stuff that would fit into their room. There were so many cute themes to go with, too! She couldn’t wait to find out the gender so she could make an announcement and actually start to buy stuff. Her excitement outweighed the downers of being pregnant. And this morning she had even more reason to be excited. Her hair was up in a ponytail, as it usually was for work and she was wearing her bra and scrub pants but no top yet. Instead her hand was smoothing over her stomach as she scrutinized her profile in the mirror. There was definitely something there.

“Kevin, come look!” she called out softly, knowing he was in the kitchen with a bowl of cereal for breakfast. There was a shuffle of heavy footsteps before Kevin appeared in the doorway with a curious look. Melanie grinned and took his hand, pulling it around her so that he was standing behind her but with a hand on her belly. She guided it over the smooth surface with a happy smile. “Do you feel it? I’ve got a bump now! You can even see it!” Her finger pointed to the mirror as she beamed into the reflective surface. “I can’t wait to show Jo. She’s going to be so excited. Pretty soon I’m going to have to get some bigger pants.” She grinned from ear to ear at the thought, trying to elicit a smile from Kevin too. He had to be getting excited too!

[KEVIN WHITFIELD]

Kevin felt like he wason a rollercoaster since Melanie dropped the bomb on him. Sometimes he was excited, happy and enthusiastic about the fact he was getting married and having a child, but there was still a huge part of him that was hesitant and unsure. He loved Melanie with all his heart. He was borderline obsessed with her, vowing to do anything to keep her, but he was terrified of how much their lives would be changing over the next year. Would they fight more? Would he become angry and fed up with having to work so hard again, just when he'd been able to take a step back and relax a little? He feared resenting her and the baby, but right now he was still excited to be a father at all. He vowed despite what happened, he would love he child and do what he could, even if it was the only thing he could do.

"Kevin, come look! Kevin was already up. He had just finished pouring the milk in his cereal when he heard Mel cal. He came to his fiance, looking at her curiously. "What's up?" He asked, still a little groggy. Melanie grinned up at him and reached over, taking his hand and pulling it around her so that he was standing behind her but with a hand on her belly. She guided it over the smooth surface, a bright smile on her face. What was se tring to show him?

"Do you feel it? I've got a bump now! You can even see it!" A bump? She was only a few weeks long! He slid his hand over the flesh furrowing his brows. He lookedin he mirror at her stomach and he supposed she looked a little bloated, but it was hard to say for sure. "I can't wait to show Jo. She's going to be so excited. Pretty soon I'm going to have to get some bigger pants." pants? Kevin said nohing, his mind immediately racing to figure out how they could afford maternity clothes when they were tryin to save. Maybe some of Jo's stuff would fit..

Kevin realized she was staring at him hopefull and he gave a grin in return, leaning his face close to kiss her cheek. "You're very bumpy." He teased gently, his other arm coming around her and pulling her small body into his, hugging her tight. He sighed into her dark hair, letting her know in his own way that he was trying, really trying to be okay with all this, trying to not be so scared, trying to be nothing but genuinely happy for them. "We'll be able to tell people soon enough."

[MELANIE WHITFIELD]

It looked like Kevin was going off in his own world, his eyes glazing over slightly and Melanie could almost hear the cogs turning. What was he thinking about? Wasn’t he happy? She knew he was having a hard time with the pregnancy, always worried about how they could afford a baby, and it made her sad to think that’s what he could be thinking about right now. Not how his daughter or son was growing in her belly, but money…As soon as the thought came into her head, though, he gave a grin and kissed her cheek, easing her somewhat. “You’re very bumpy.” That made her smile grow again and she giggled, even more so when his other arm came around her and pulled her tight into him. At least he was still sweet, even if he only said she was bumpy to appease her. She could still feel it. As he sighed into her hair, she leaned back into him gently, her eyes slipping closed. Even though he was scared about this whole thing, he was trying, and that meant the world to her.

“We’ll be able to tell people soon enough.” She nodded even though she’d already told a couple people. Just a two friends at work and Brandon and Jo. And of course Kit knew. She didn’t even know if Kit was happy about it or supportive of it, she just knew he knew. At least he still smiled at her when he saw her. She had encouraged him to tell Kelsey, but he was waiting until she was further along. Melanie didn’t mind. It excited her to think of the ways they could tell people that a baby was on the way. The first on her list were her uncles. She would have to call international, but the cost was worth it. And of course announcing it to the other nurses at work and the men on her brother’s boat. Kevin could tell Kelsey and his friends too. Maybe Kelsey could even make it out for her baby shower! Melanie was more excited for her baby than she’d ever been excited about anything. On top of that, she had a wedding to plan! She turned in Kevin’s arms and wrapped her arms about his broad shoulders, a big smile on her face as she leaned in to kiss him. It was a sweet, warm kiss that pulled her closer into him.

“And then we can tell them about our engagement once I have a ring.” She grinned against his mouth, opening her eyes to his sea blue ones. Then she jumped a little, realizing that it sounded like she was being pushy. “Not that I’m impatient about that! Take your time with all that stuff! The baby is more important.” Her slight panic eased again into a soft smile and she pulled him into another kiss. “I love you…” she said softly into his lips before kissing him again. Sometimes this morning routine ended up in a quickie, but today she’d spent too long in the mirror. She had to finish getting ready! Her lips pulled away from him, giggling as his lips pushed forward and kissed her again before he released her and she took a step back. “I should finish getting dressed. I probably shouldn’t go to work without a shirt on.” She gave a smile as she turned away and then made her way into their bedroom. “Are you working late again today?” she called out as she found her top laid out on the made bed. She breezed it over her head before pushing her ponytail out and adjusting it. “I just want to make sure dinner is still hot when you get home.” A smile pushed onto her face as she walked out of their room again, moving toward the kitchen. There was a cup of yogurt and a piece of toast calling her name and she was ready to oblige it.

[KEVIN WHITFIELD]

“And then we can tell them about our engagement once I have a ring.” Guilt ran through him but he didn't show it. He hadn't gotten a ring yet. He'd looked, and he'd done the calculations. It would be a few weeks before he could scrape enough together to get a nice enough ring, and not even one of the expensive ones. Fortunately she didn't want a diamond which would have been much more expensive. “Not that I’m impatient about that! Take your time with all that stuff! The baby is more important.” He grinned and nodded, feeling a little better, but unable to shake the feeling she wanted that ring. He didn't think she was being pushy, she deserved it, but he hoped she wouldn't grow impatient quickly.

She eased her face into a smile and he did the same, not saying anything as she leaned into him more. "I love you…” she said softly into his lips before kissing him again. "I love you." He said back softly, his hands slipping instinctively to her hips to keep her close. She giggled and pulled away but he leaned in playfully, kissing her again before she took a step back. “I should finish getting dressed. I probably shouldn’t go to work without a shirt on.” He gave a soft laugh and shrug. "Maybe you'd get a raise if you did." He teased back as he made his way towards the kitchen to eat once more. “Are you working late again today?” "Uhh.. a little. Why?" He asked, knowing if he wanted to get that ring he was going to have to pick up as many hours as he possibly could. “I just want to make sure dinner is still hot when you get home.” His smile grew as his heart swelled a little. It was gestures like that which assured Kevin this was the right thing; she cared enough to make sure he had a warm meal when he came home. She enjoyed taking care of him, and it had been the first time in his life someone was willing to since he was in Kindergarten. It was a good feeling.

The pair finished their breakfast and went their separate ways, neither aware of what tragedy lie ahead.

[MELANIE WHITFIELD]

Melanie ate her breakfast quickly and walked out with Kevin to the parking lot. It was just like any other morning. They kissed and exchanged their love before getting into their separate cars and driving off. And just like any other morning, Melanie went right to work when she walked in the door. The kids were just starting to wake up and Melanie was ready to get them breakfast and start baths and showers and assisting those who needed it with getting to the bathroom and helping them do their business. It would be a few hours before things would calm down again. With everything so normal, Melanie never expected anything to go wrong. Actually, this morning everyone was pretty happy. There were a couple tears when shots needed to be given or blood taken, but a lollipop and giggling soon followed. With all of the time spent on her feet, Melanie didn’t think anything of it when a very slight cramping started in her belly. When she sat for a few minutes, it got better and she was confident to get back to rushing from room to room.

But then the cramping got worse. A steady clenching of her stomach made her wonder if she wasn’t just getting ready to vomit. But the vomit never came and the pain was only getting worse. No…no, she couldn’t think like there was something wrong. If she stressed herself, she would only make it worse and maybe lose…The more she tried to ignore it, the more prominent it became until she was clutching her stomach with sweat on her brow. She leaned against a wall and her friend Shanna ran to her aid. It was too late though. A trickling ran down her leg followed by a gasp from Shana. Though she was afraid to do so, Melanie finally looked down to her legs. To her horror, blood was pooled on the front of her scrubs and the patch was only getting bigger. “No…” she whispered, tears already stinging her eyes. Shanna watched her with a look of concern and pity, her eyes wide with fear. “We have to get you to a bathroom.” Melanie let the girl drag her to a nearby bathroom, numb from the shock of what was happening. Tears were blinding her and she sobbed. “No…no, no, no…” she moaned, hardly caring that Shanna followed her into the one person bathroom. Immediately she pushed her pants down and saw the blood leaking across her olive skin to the pure white sock and staining the cloth red. Immediately her tears consumed her, forcing her face into her hands as she started to sob. Her stomach cramping again doubled her over. “Come on, on the toilet.” Shanna’s voice was calm even though her face was panicked. She helped Melanie out of her underwear and all Melanie could do was sob, her shoulders shaking. After several minutes of the cramps pushing more blood from her womb and Melanie well aware of what was happening, Shanna tried to comfort her. “It’s okay, Mel. Sometimes there’s bleeding and then the baby somehow holds on. How far along are you?” She’d been to the doctor, seen her womb, seen where the little bean was resting even though it didn’t look like much. And the doctor had told her how far along she was. “Seven weeks,” she sobbed, wrapping her arms around herself. Shanna didn’t try to reassure her again. They both knew the possibility of her baby surviving. Melanie could only cry harder.

An emergency visit to the next floor up on the maternity ward and a quick sonogram of her belly revealed what she feared most: her baby was gone. As suddenly as it was planted in her womb, it was gone. It was like it never existed. But for Melanie it had existed. That baby was her first child, the first real hope she had ever had for a family of her own. Misery gripped her chest in a vise, making it hard to breathe. The fresh tears came before the air did and when she released her breath it was with an agonized moan. For a long time the doctor and Shanna just let Mel lie in the bed sobbing. Nothing in the world could have made her feel better anyway. She’d lost her baby, her own flesh and blood, and nothing could put it back in her belly.

The way home was blurred with pain and tears. Shanna drove her car while their friend Stephanie followed, ready to take her and Shanna back to the hospital once Melanie was safely home. Somehow Melanie had gotten a change of clothes and she was now wearing some standard issue green scrubs. When she made it to the apartment, Shanna called Kevin and told him to come home as soon as possible. “No, Mel’s fine, it’s just…the baby isn’t. I’m so sorry, Kevin.” Those were the only words Melanie heard from her place on the couch, collapsed and leaking one tear after another. The blanket tucked around her was balled in a fist at her chest as her heart felt bruised and broken. This was her fault…if she’d been more careful, if she’d gone home when the cramps started so she could lay down for the rest of the day, her baby wouldn’t be dead now. If she’d been more careful about her movements, more relaxed, this wouldn’t have happened. She had done everything wrong and her baby was the one who suffered in the end. How could she have been so careless with the life of her own child? How could such a careless person exist? She didn’t deserve to be a mother. This only made her ache more and she moaned into the pillow beneath her head. Stephanie kneeled beside her, running a hand over her hair to try and soothe her. “I’m so sorry, Mel…I’m so, so sorry. But once this is over, you’ll see it’s not the end. This happens to women all the time and they go on to have perfectly healthy babies.” She nodded her head and sobbed more. It wasn’t what she wanted to hear. What she wanted was that baby back—that baby was supposed to be her first, not any that might follow it. But Stephanie was only trying to help so Melanie get her words bottled in her chest. When Shanna came back, she set Melanie’s phone on the table and kneeled beside her and Stephanie. “Kevin will be here soon, Mel. Is there anyone else you want me to call?” Brandon. She wanted her brother there too. But she knew Kevin deserved to have her all to himself when he got home so they could grieve in private. So instead of saying her brother’s name, she shook her head with a big sob. All she could do was wait for her fiancé to come home.

[KEVIN WHITFIELD]

Nothing that morning could have alarmed Kevin of the devestation that would come later. He went about his business, working as usual, and it wasn't until his phone rang that he even stopped to think about anything other than work. The girl who called told him he needed to come home and that was hen terror struck him. Where was Mel? What happened to her? "Is she okay?" He asked in a panic, but the girl assured him in a avering voice that Mel was fine. The baby, however, was not. "I'm so sorry, Kevin.". He stood there frozen long after the line went dead, dread and guilt slowly creeping up his spine. He'd done this. All his worrying and silently cursing the baby had brought on its demise, and he suddenly wished he'd embraced the idea more. His child was gone. He would never get to know it or what it even was. It was though it had never existed.

When he finally got his wits about him, Kevin asked if he could leave for the day and then rushed home to be with his fiance, unsure what he would be walking into. He all but ran to his door, flinging it open and rushing in to see Mel curled on the couch. The girls she was with excused themselves and left Kevin to care for the quivering, crying mess that was his fiance. "Hey.." He said weakly, kneeling at her side, his hand coming around hers, but her tears were becoming sobs and his heart began to ache all over, this time harder than before.

Without a word he got up and lifted her into his arms sitting himself on the couch and cradling the small woman in his arms. "Shhhh.." he hushed softly, holding her close, his face nuzzling lovingly into hers. "It's going to be okay." He promised softly. "You'll see.. you and me.. we're going to make plenty of babies, okay? We're going to ge married and have a family. A big family.." he didn't want a big family, but he wanted to comfort her somehow and that promise seemed like a good one, one they could negotiate another time. "We'll do it right.. I'm so sorry, baby." His arms clenched tighter around her body, his own eyes welling. "I'm so, so sorry.."

[MELANIE WHITFIELD]

Melanie hardly heard the words her friends cooed to her, attempting to comfort her. All she wanted was her baby back or at least for Kevin to arrive. Finally the door flew open and there was Kevin, panting and looking frantically at his fiancée. All Melanie could do was let a fresh wave of tears leak from her eyes. He would be so upset with her for losing their baby. Even as he crossed to her, she could see how upset he was. The girls scampered away and Melanie whimpered one last “thank you” before they closed the door and left her and Kevin to themselves. But while she thought Kevin might start speaking harshly, he simply kneeled in front of her and took her hand, eliciting more sobs from the quivering mass that was Melanie. “Hey…” All she could do was cry harder at how soft his voice was, how caring. He wasn’t even mad at her even though this was all her fault.

To her relief he got up and lifted her into his arms, sitting with her on the couch and holding her close in a tight embrace. Melanie clung to his shirt, resting her forehead against his neck as she sobbed and trembled. “Shhhh…” His face nuzzled into hers and she nudged him back gently, sniffling and sobbing. “It’s going to be okay. You’ll see…you and me…we’re going to make plenty of babies, okay? We’re going to get married and have a family. A big family…” She only sobbed harder, her chest tightening as she shook her head pathetically against Kevin’s. She could make plenty of babies, but how many of them would she lose before she could carry one to full term? Could she carry on to full term? “We’ll do it right…I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so, so sorry…” She could hear the tears in his voice and she sobbed deeply, one hand coming to his hair to brush her fingers through it. There were no words, only the wracking pain of losing her first child. Her face was damp with tears but she couldn’t pull away from Kevin. He was solid and warm and with his arms around her, she was shaking less.

Finally she pulled back, sniffling and wiping at her surely messy face, gazing at Kevin with slightly puffy eyes. “I’m the one who’s sorry. This was my fault…” She sobbed again, more tears dripping onto her cheeks. Her voice was choked as she continued. “I should have been more careful. I felt the cramping not long after I started working this morning, but I didn’t think anything of it. I should have stopped and lain down. Maybe I could have stopped it.” She fell back into crying, covering her face with her hands as she fell against his shoulder. With a deep, gasping breath, she wailed softly into her palms. “I’m so sorry, Kevin…” Catching her breath again and leaning against Kevin until the tears died down some, Melanie finally looked up at Kevin’s face, cupping his cheek. “What if…what if I can’t have babies? What if every time I get pregnant, I lose the baby?” She sniffled, her eyes filling with tears again. “What if we can’t have our own family? Would you leave me?” The thought broke her heart, but she couldn’t blame him if that’s what he did. She was hardly a woman if she couldn’t have babies. Kevin deserved to have his own children. If Melanie couldn’t give him that, she was terrified she would have to let him go. Her heart throbbed painfully at just the thought.

[KEVIN WHITFIELD]

With every tremble and sob, Kevin's heart grew heavier. For days he'd mourned his future, regretted not wearing protection, wished that he could put off being a father for just a little bit longer. Now that it hadall become reality he felt heavy and sick. Part of him felt guilty for wishing the baby gone, even though there was a genuinely large part of him that wasactually excited for their child. When Mel finally looked up at him, there were tears wettin his own eyes, making them look more like the sea than usual. "I'm the one who's sorry. This was my fault..." She sobbed ad again he felt sick. How was it her fault? Had she accidentally done something to end the pregnancy? She'd been so proud of the mild protrusion of her stomach just that morning! Surely she couldn't be at fault.

"I should have been more careful. I felt the cramping not long after I started working this morning, but I didn't think anything of it. I should have stopped and lain down. Maybe I could have stopped it." was that possible? To stop it from happening? Kevin knew little to nothing about pregnancy, but he had always been under the impression that miscarriages were unstoppable. If they could be stopped, women everywhere would know how, because Kevin knew plenty of women had them whe they did not want to. She fell against his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her again. "I'm so sorry, Kevin.." he shook his head. "It's no your fault baby, you didn't know. It's not your fault.." Kevin cooed softly, trying to reassure her. But Melanie's sobs were intense and he felt helpless to fight them, especially as his own grief set in.

It took her a few more moments of sobbing and being held by him for her to calm down once again, but hen she did she looked up with large, reddened eyes and cupped his cheek with her gentle hand. ""What if...what if I can't have babies? What if every time I get pregnant, I lose the baby? What if we can't have our own family? Would you leave me?" all he could do was stare at her. Would she honestly as him something so incredibly stupid? His face grew firm as he looked down into her deep, chocolate eyes. "Do you think I'm with you because maybe one day you'll give me a child?" He asked, wanting his words to seep in. "I love you, Mel. I want to be wth you and if we never have a child then that will have no bearing on my feelings towards you. Nothing could make me love you less, do you understand?" His voice was softer, more pleading, begging her to see he was beng honest and sincere. "But we'll be parents. Even if we can't have our own I'll work until my fingers bleed to get enough money for us to adopt. We a get a baby from anywhere! Okay? I'm never leaving you.. never, okay?" He leaned down and kissed her, his lips pressing hard againt hers as the tears finally trickled down his cheeks. "I love you, baby.. never think I don't." He begged softly.

[MELANIE WHITFIELD]

Melanie swallowed back more tears as Kevin looked down into her eyes with a stern gaze. “Do you think I’m with you because maybe one day you’ll give me a child?” Hearing it from his mouth, she realized how silly that sounded. But didn’t those things happen? “I love you, Mel. I want to be with you and if we never have a child then that will have no bearing on my feelings towards you. Nothing could make me love you less, do you understand?” A sob hiccupped in her throat as more tears welled in her big, dark eyes. She nodded and prayed that what he said would always be true. Even if they couldn’t have babies, they would at least have each other. How she wanted children, though… “But we’ll be parents. Even if we can’t have our own I’ll work until my fingers bleed to get enough money for us to adopt. We can get a baby from anywhere! Okay? I’m never leaving you…never, okay?” She sobbed again before his lips mashed against hers, stealing more sobs from her throat. It was a hard, loving kiss and Melanie returned it with everything in her. She loved Kevin so much it hurt. The wet tears on his cheeks added to the dampness of her own and it only upset her more.

“I love you, baby…never think I don’t.” His lips were still so close that she just had to lean in a little more to kiss him again softly. When she pulled back her fingers smoothed over his cheek. “I know. I love you too.” Her voice was soft and reassuring but she soon melted into tears again. She buried her face in his neck, turning so she was cuddled safely against him. He was warm and solid and steady and that was everything she needed in that moment. Once again her belly was empty, but at least her arms weren’t. She wiped his tears away in return, even though they always came back. For a long time they stayed there on the couch, holding each other and grieving for their baby. It would take Melanie days to feel at least somewhat normal, but she knew Kevin would stay by her side and care for her, and she would do the same for him. Together they would heal eventually.

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