Forever is a mighty long time

[CADENCE HIGGINS]

Things had changed drastically for Cadence Higgins in the last eight months. She'd come to terms with the fact that she was in love with Robert Snow, and though she was still reserved with her feelings, she was far more open with her adoration now than she once was. She willingly held his hand and smiled in public when he guided her around by the small of her back, showing her off as if she were some sort of prize. She supposed on some level she was a prize. How hard had he worked to obtain her? She'd become a master of ignoring the sidelong glances and murmurs, knowing what other people thought of her. She'd been his secretary once, she was likely only in it for only one reason. The man still held a great deal of power and his name alone made people shudder. Not to mention he was quite affluent. She couldn't really blame people for their assumptions about her. The man was a tyrant and only she was privy to the gentler side of him, a side that seemed reserved only for her, a side she herself was still getting used to. She liked the tyrant he could be though, and she'd never stopped provoking him, drawing out the harsh man she knew he was. It was part of their dynamic, what made them work so well. She would never stop pushing his buttons, and she got the feeling he didn't want her to. How else were they to keep things exciting?

Though she had her own home still, she often stayed with Robert. She preferred it this way, not liking him in her home as much. It still made her uneasy, liking her privacy, but he'd been able to obtain a key from her which he used far more than Cadence liked. She didn't like him coming by unannounced, and he knew that, but he did it anyway. It was that reason alone she spent most of her time in his home, refusing to give up her own space, to make that last step as being his completely. It terrified her to think about giving herself to him, about leaving any semblance of her independence behind forever. What happened if things went sour? It had become one of her greatest fears. She was so tied to him now, and after having been away from him for nearly a year she knew how much she would miss his touch. No one made her feel the way Robert did. No one could make her heart hammer with a single touch like he could or make her breathless with just a glance.. She resented him for the way he made her actually feel, hated how much she desired him, how willing she was to do anything he said for fear of being turned away. Not that she didn't give him a hard time about it, but in the end Robert knew he'd win. He always won.

Her hair was pulled back into a loose bun, the curls in her hair still showing as they wrapped into the nob in the back. Her face was shimmery with makeup, dark lines etched under her eyes with lashes that were a bit too long. She wore a modest black and gold lace dress with black heels that were frighteningly high, but she liked the way it made her calves look. A long black coat wrapped her tight as she sat beside him in the car, her cool, icy eyes looking out the window as her fingers laced with his on her knee. He'd refused to tell her where they were going, only to dress nice. A date, not a cocktail party, and one out of town. He was obviously in the mood to treat and she didn't mind. Cadence had a taste of the world and was growing bored of the city once more. It was nice to venture outside the cities limits.

They'd been driving for a while now and the coast was back in her view, the moon glistening on the calm waters surface like a painting. "How much further?" She asked, her face turning to look at his, admiring as usual how beautiful he was. It seemed like eons ago that she hated that face. Her fingers moved away from inbetween his, stroking the top of his knuckles lovingly instead. She was ready for the evening to begin.

[ROBERT SNOW]

Robert Snow was a changed man. While no one else seemed to notice, his secretary Ella commented on it every now and then. Not that he was nicer or more lenient on the criminals or the lawyers he encountered every day. He didn’t laugh any more than usual and he worked as hard as ever. But he was calmer, more balanced, than he’d ever been in the past. There were few late nights at the office for him. He came in for eight to ten hours and then went home. He didn’t order Ella around quite as much and showed her real kindness, smiling and thanking her when she brought him what he asked for and praising her when she did a good job. Even with Cadence as his secretary he hadn’t been that kind. Now that he only saw her when he came home, however, it made him more eager to leave at the end of the night. Their relationship was growing stronger with seeing less of each other and having the distance between work and home. And for once his mansion really felt like a home. Cadence still had her own place, but most nights he would come home to find her there waiting for him. It was comforting to know she wouldn’t leave him again and he always knew where to find her.

As the months passed, he realized he really wanted to make this permanent. He didn’t want Cadence to have her own place apart from him anymore. If she wanted her own private haven, he would make it in his mansion for her. There were too many rooms for him anyway. He wanted to provide for her and show her what she meant to him every day. He knew what she had become in his life. She didn’t fear him or his wrath. In fact, she delighted in pushing his buttons and he loved every infuriating moment of it. She could tear him down and see through him like no one else on earth could. She had seen his weakness and still held it a secret, respecting his power and his image. She supported him and cared for him—no mean feat considering how guarded she was. In the end, Robert needed Cadence. She was the only person he would ever need. He wouldn’t risk losing her again to anyone.

For weeks he scoured the city and beyond for the perfect ring. Only the best would be fitting for Cadence and he must have looked at a thousand rings before one finally called to him. The ring[/u] was practically made for Cadence. It was big, but it was classy and made a statement without being garish. She deserved nothing less if she agreed to become his wife. Even now he couldn’t be sure she would say yes. For the first time in a very, very long time, he actually felt nervous. If she said no…well, he would just have to work harder to get her to say yes. No other woman was fit to be his wife. If he was ever going to marry, it would be Cadence that he made vows to.

So he worked up his courage and reserved an entire restaurant for the last two hours they were open. It was a small, upscale Italian restaurant on the outskirts of the city that they had been to a few times and truly enjoyed. The lighting was low and it was cozy with the fire roaring nearby. On a winter night, it served as the best atmosphere. And what could be more romantic than private service and no other customers around to bother them or overhear them? He couldn’t very well propose in a crowded restaurant anyway. He was dressed in a simple yet elegant deep navy suit with a black tie and crisp white shirt[/u]. The short trimmed beard he kept had grown on him and Cadence didn’t complain. He thought it made him look more distinguished with the silver hairs that peeked through among the black and iron gray. His hand clasped Cadence’s on her knee, content and yet uncertain as they made their way through the night. “How much further?” He glanced at her, admiring once more how beautiful she looked, and gave a smile as he turned back to the road. “Not long.” His hand covered her knee as she gently ran her fingers along his knuckles. The sensation sent chills up his spine, delighting in her small shows of affection. It was how he knew she felt for him what he felt for her.

Within five minutes they were pulling up to the restaurant and he put the car in park. He’d opted not to have his driver take them out tonight—this was a night for them to be on their own as much as possible. The restaurant had a beautiful view as it sat on the cliffs overlooking the ocean. There was salt on the air as Robert went to Cadence’s door and helped her out of the car. She was as beautiful as ever and he kissed her hand before tucking it into the crook of his arm, smiling confidently before escorting her into the restaurant. The hostess was bright and waiting for them in the empty restaurant, greeting them by name. Robert confirmed they were the ones she’d been warned about with a cool greeting. She seated them and promised their waiter would be out shortly. The bottle of dry chardonnay he’d requested was already on the table for them and the girl opened it and poured for them. Robert took this moment to admire the look of surprise on Cadence’s face as she glanced around the empty room. Of course he was the only one who could tell she was surprised, but that gave him even greater satisfaction. When at last the girl left them with their drinks, he smiled across the table. “I figured it had been a while since I treated you to a nice night out here. To make it even nicer, we have it to ourselves for the next couple hours. I know you don’t particularly like surprises, so thank you for indulging me.”

[CADENCE HIGGINS]

“Not long.” He assured in his usual low, gruff voice. Her lips tightened slightly and her head turned to look out the window once more, enjoying the view from the car. She could smell the salty air through the vents in the car and she breathed deep. Part of her yearned for the sea, having enjoyed being in the sun. Not directly, of course, but under an umbrella with some heavy sunglasses. The sand was so warm, the sound of waves crashing and seagulls crying above was relaxing to her, more than she had expected. It was something she wanted to do again, but wouldn't likely bring up to Robert. Her ring was off permanently since she'd been back knowing his stance on the ridiculous things. A stance she once held as well. She wondered if he'd ever change his mind. Perhaps someday when she felt like aggravating him she would insist, but until that day she kept her desire silent, admiring the ocean from afar. It wasn't the same at night. Still relaxing, but in a different sort of way.

It wasn't long until the car was pulling into the parking lot of, Robert sliding into a space and pushing the car into park. The restaurant was a familiar one, thy'd been there before. She waited for Robert to come around to her door, cocking a brow and smirking ever so slightly when he brought her hand to his lips, brushing her knuckles tenderly. She didn't miss the extra affection bestowed on her and Cadence began to wonder if there was something special about the day she'd forgotten. She was good with dates, but Robert had loved her far longer than she had him. Who knew if today was some sort of anniversary?

She allowed him to escort her into the restaurant, and immediately Cadence realized how empty it was. In fact, as they were being brought to their seat she didn't notice a single other patron in the restaurant. The last time they'd been there it had been somewhat busy considering how good the place was. She allowed Robert to take her coat and help her into her seat, acting, as always, the perfect gentleman in public. It wasn't that Robert she adored, but the brute he could be when doors were closed. She preferred him that way at times, feeling oddly more comfortable being the reason for his displeasure. It amused her, but there was something nice about being treated in this way.

The girl who'd seated them poured their wine, which had been waiting for them, and left them be to settle in. "I figured it had been a while since I treated you to a nice night out here. To make it even nicer, we have it to ourselves for the next couple hours. I know you don’t particularly like surprises, so thank you for indulging me.” No. She didn't like surprises, but up until this moment she hadn't assumed anything funny was going on. Robert wanting to be alone in a public place with her was significant. It was true neither enjoyed the other patrons that tended to dine out when they did, but to reserve an entire restaurant simply for a date? It made her suspicious. "I always aim to please, Robert. You know that." She taunted, a flicker of mischief in her eye as she reached for her glass of wine, her gaze catching the water out the window once more. The restaurant had plenty of ambiance with no overhead lighting, but instead opting for candles, a roaring fire and the occasional wall sconce adorned with a flickering candle. "So what may I ask is the occasion? I doubt you'd rent an entire restaurant unless you had good reason to." She looked back at him, that same menacing look in her eyes as if she were teasing him for the sweet gesture as she brought the wine to her lips. What occasion had she forgotten?

[ROBERT SNOW]

For once Robert couldn’t read Cadence’s face, but the delay in her response gave him a clue. He was fairly certain she was suspicious. “I always aim to please, Robert. You know that.” The mischievous gleam in her green eyes and the small upturn of her lips made him trade his thoughts of her suspicion for ones of the innuendo in her voice. He smirked in return, picturing all of the ways she aimed to please him. Perhaps she would aim to do so tonight as well. He certainly hoped she would—that would mean the answer to his big question was “yes.” She turned to look out of the window at the water and he took the moment to admire her profile. There was no other woman who could hold him so captivated. She infuriated him and delighted him usually several times throughout any given day yet she was the only person in his life that could or would do so freely. Anyone else who had attempted it was no longer in his life. The simple fact that he could tolerate it from Cadence was proof enough that she was the only woman he could spend the rest of his long life with.

“So what may I ask is the occasion? I doubt you’d rent an entire restaurant unless you had good reason to.” The playfully menacing look in her eyes confirmed his suspicion and he smiled in return. Good thing he had come up with a good excuse to throw her off his scent. “Well I hear there’s a holiday around the corner. Rumor has it people are supposed to exchange gifts with the people they love.” His smile widened at the look Cadence gave him. “I know our gift exchange has been rather limited in the past so I wanted to do something special this year. A lot has changed for us this year and I wanted to show you my appreciation for your patience and persistence with me. I figured a private dinner at one of our favorite restaurants was a good way of doing that.” At that he lifted his glass of wine, giving Cadence an expectant look. “To us.” She toasted the same and clinked her glass against his and as they sipped their wine, he assumed she was satisfied with his reasoning.

The waiter came moments later with some bread and took their orders for a starting soup or salad. Cadence and Robert both took their time deciding on what they wanted for their main course and the waiter took their order when he returned with their starters. Robert stabbed some lettuce from his Caesar salad and looked up to Cadence. “Do you plan on doing a holiday dinner with your family? I don’t know if I’ve ever asked what you and your parents do for the holidays.” It was a legitimate question. He had toyed with the idea of hosting a small holiday dinner for her and her parents, but he hadn’t seen her parents since Jude’s funeral. If he was being honest, he was afraid to encounter them again. Cadence had hated him for so long—that hatred had brought her to him in the first place. He didn’t know if that was because of something her parents taught her or not and he had never had the stomach to ask. Since Jude’s death, he had blamed himself for it and wouldn’t have held it against his parents if they blamed him too. It was another reason he hadn’t asked Mr. Higgins for Cadence’s hand. He figured if she said yes, he could beg forgiveness later and they would have to accept it because their daughter was happy. It was manipulative, but nothing less could be expected of Robert Snow. Perhaps he could begin making amends now if there were no big plans and he could run the idea of having them for dinner by Cadence to see what she thought. She would know best what their reaction would be to such an invitation.

[CADENCE HIGGINS]

“Well I hear there’s a holiday around the corner. Rumor has it people are supposed to exchange gifts with the people they love.” She cocked a brow at him. Christmas may be near, but she didn't think they were exchanging presents tonight. “I know our gift exchange has been rather limited in the past so I wanted to do something special this year. A lot has changed for us this year and I wanted to show you my appreciation for your patience and persistence with me. I figured a private dinner at one of our favorite restaurants was a good way of doing that.” It was true. It wasn't as if he'd given her actual presents when she'd been his secretary, unless you count consistent fuckings a gift. She might not have then, but she did now. Still, it was nice to receive a gift like this from Robert. It didn't come in a small box, which she expected most of her gifts from him to come in. A bit more thought went into this, but still it was a strange gift. A personal one. She wondered if there was still some sort of hidden meaning there, but there was no sense picking at him now. He wouldn't tell her either way.

“To us.” He held his wine glass out and she did the same, clinking their glasses together and murmuring a soft "To us." In return. The waiter returned with a basket of bread that Cadence ignored while she peered at the menu. When he returned with their salads, she finally picked up her fork. “Do you plan on doing a holiday dinner with your family? I don’t know if I’ve ever asked what you and your parents do for the holidays.” Christmas had always been a strange time for her family. Her parents would forever grieve the loss of their first born, a boy she would never meet, and every holiday seemed to be a reminder that he was no longer there. Christmas was an especially somber affair it seemed.

"It's just that. Dinner." She explained, not having the most fond memories of the holiday that seemed to get commercialized more and more with every passing year. "We usually exchange presents on Christmas Eve so we don't have to see each other the following day. It's not a big deal in our family." She didn't need to go into details about how the loss of Jude affected the Higgins family. He surely dealt with his own loss when Jude perished, so there was no need to throw it in his face now. "Did you want an invitation?" She asked curiously, popping a brow at him. As usual her face was stoic save for her eyes. If he wanted to come along, he would be welcome. It wasn't as if her parents harbored any feelings towards their lost sons childhood friend. It was only she who had come to the conclusion Robert was the guilty party. "Or should I center my plans around being with you." It was evident she didn't care either way. He was hinting that he wanted them to be together, and she was simply obliging his request.

[ROBERT SNOW]

“It’s just that. Dinner.” The way Cadence said it made Robert suspect that it wasn’t a holiday she particularly enjoyed. He wondered what her past Christmases had been like. Surely her parents would have doted on her, spoiling their only surviving child. Or maybe they spent more time mourning over the loss of their first. He vaguely remembered how they treated Jude when they were younger. They had spoiled Jude as much as Robert’s had spoiled him. It didn’t seem likely they wouldn’t have treated Cadence the same way. Then again, he had been too afraid to face them over the years to know what they were like now. What he knew from Cadence, they were much more forlorn since she had known them. “We usually exchange presents on Christmas Eve so we don’t have to see each other the following day. It’s not a big deal in our family.” It made his gut heavy to know that Christmas had fallen to the wayside in the Higgins household. Not that the true meaning of Christmas ever meant anything to him—in his life, it had meant presents and time to be with his parents. Despite his cold nature, he did love his parents and it had been nice to show his appreciation for them at least once a year when they were alive. Christmas was a relaxing day in his house. He didn’t like to think it was any different for the Higgins’ since his biggest mistake all those years ago.

“Did you want an invitation?” Robert found he had been staring at the tablecloth, but the question made his blue eyes rise to hers below raised eyebrows. She was giving him a curious look and he actually didn’t have an answer right away. Did he want an invitation? Did he want to face her parents for the first time in decades? If Cadence said yes to his proposal, he wouldn’t have a choice. It wouldn’t be polite to get engaged to their daughter and then not spend the Christmas after with his fiancée’s parents. “Or should I center my plans around being with you?” That would be preferable. He could think of plenty ways they could spend Christmas together, not the least of which started in his bed and ended on the couch in his study. If she said no tonight, neither one of those plans would happen. That was the kind of negative thinking he wanted to avoid. He gave a small shrug. “I was thinking maybe I could host a small dinner for all of us. It wouldn’t be anything grand. It doesn’t have to be Christmas day either. If your tradition is to do it on Christmas Eve, I can accommodate that. Do you think your parents would accept an invitation?” His voice was attempting to cover the insecurity he felt at asking that question, but he was certain Cadence would see through him. She almost always did. One look at her face was enough to know she’d caught on and his pride took a hit. Thankfully she didn’t pester him about it and simply said they probably would. He nodded. “Good. Would you mind extending the invitation? We can work out details depending on their schedule.” Cadence agreed and they fell silent for a moment, simply eating their salads.

No matter how Robert wanted to push aside his concerns about Mr. and Mrs. Higgins’ feelings towards him, the question was nagging him. Was this dinner really a good idea? If they hated him for Jude, they probably hate him even more for Cadence. For the first time in longer than he could remember, he felt nervous. He was nervous to ask Cadence to marry him and he was nervous to see her parents again. It was putting a damper on his mood. He felt weak and vulnerable when he was nervous and he despised that feeling more than any other. But he couldn’t keep from asking. If anyone could understand his questioning, it would be Cadence. He looked up with a frown, his voice softer than usual. “Do your parents hold any ill feelings towards me for what happened to your brother? I don’t want to make the holiday awkward for anyone. I also can’t help wondering knowing how you felt about me before I swept you off your feet.” He gave a small smirk, attempting to cover his pathetic questioning with humor. Had anyone else been in the room, he would have held his tongue. Cadence was the only person allowed to know that he too had his weaknesses.

[CADENCE HIGGINS]

Cadence toyed with her glass of wine as the man across from her rolled his shoulders in a shrug. “I was thinking maybe I could host a small dinner for all of us. It wouldn’t be anything grand. It doesn’t have to be Christmas day either." Robert wanted to host Christmas supper? It seemed strange that he would want to actually invite her family to be with him, even if they were in a relationship. "If your tradition is to do it on Christmas Eve, I can accommodate that. Do you think your parents would accept an invitation?” She had no reason to believe they wouldn't, but she was still surprised that he cared at all about them being a part of his holiday. "They would probably agree." She offered, feeling more skeptical than she sounded. “Good. Would you mind extending the invitation? We can work out details depending on their schedule.” She gave a nod and added a soft, compliant. "Not at all." before going back to her salad. It seemed strange to her still. Something about it just didn't sit right. Robert wasn't exactly the hosting type, unless the hosting was business related, and even then he seldom invited people into his home. Could he have a business proposition for her father? That didn't sound right. Though she remained suspicious, she didn't bring it up again. Robert had his strange reasons for doing things.

“Do your parents hold any ill feelings towards me for what happened to your brother? I don’t want to make the holiday awkward for anyone." If he was so concerned about her parents hating him, why bother inviting them over? She secretly wondered if their blossoming relationship made him uneasy considering his past with her family. Her parents had known Robert well before she was even born, and he'd been their lost child's best friend. She could see why he would be concerned, but why he would put himself in an uncomfortable situation, without her insisting upon it, was beyond her. "I also can’t help wondering knowing how you felt about me before I swept you off your feet.” The smirk he offered was not returned, Cadence not nearly as amused by his joke as he was. Robert hadn't exactly swept hr off her feet, which she assumed was what was so amusing about what he'd said. She'd com crawling back to him like a lost dog, something she wasn't exactly proud of.

"My feelings about you were my own." She explained again for at least the dozenth time in their relationship. "I'd come to the conclusion about you based on my own research. I've told you that." She was maybe a little shorter than she needed to be, especially considering he'd set up a special evening just for them. "If they harbor ill feelings towards you they've never mentioned it to me. They seemed unenthusiastic about my position under you, and perhaps not entirely keen on the idea of us actually being together, but I doubt that has anything to do with disliking you personally. Your not exactly known as being warm or fuzzy, and I'm sure your name alone brings up mixed feelings of loss. They don't like to be reminded of Jude." She explained. She knew if she invited them to come to dinner and they accepted it would be out of respect to her. "Why do you suddenly care what my parents think of you?" She asked raising a brow.

[ROBERT SNOW]

Cadence wasn’t amused by Robert’s last statement and he hadn’t expected her to be. It was really just a lame attempted to cover the bitter taste in his mouth from asking questions that hinted at his insecurities. “My feelings about you were my own. I’d come to the conclusion about you based on my own research. I’ve told you that.” She’d insisted on this in the past, but how could she have come to hate him so based solely on her own feelings? He supposed it wouldn’t have seemed out of the ordinary for him to kill his friend, though—not with his reputation. Cadence had made that clear and he supposed he couldn’t blame her for her assumptions. “If they harbor ill feelings toward you they’ve never mentioned it to me. They seemed unenthusiastic about my position under you, and perhaps not entirely keen on the idea of us actually being together, but I doubt that has anything to do with disliking you personally. You’re not exactly known as being warm and fuzzy, and I’m sure your name alone brings up mixed feelings of loss. They don’t like to be reminded of Jude.” Robert nodded, staring somewhat bitterly into his salad. He didn’t like to think that he wasn’t the man the Higgins’ wanted their daughter to be with. He’d been good to their son even if he was connected with Jude’s death. He’d been good to Cadence too. It stung to know that even if her parents didn’t blame him for Jude’s death, they still associated him with negativity. He wanted others to fear and respect him but now it would take more work than he was anticipating reversing that image in the eyes of the Higgins’. At least they didn’t hate him for Jude.

“Why do you suddenly care what my parents think of you?” Robert looked up from his salad to observe the suspicious look in Cadence’s eyes. His brow furrowed momentarily as if she’d stung him, which she did in a way. It was such an accusatory question. “I’ve always cared what your parents thought of me. I’ve just never been brave enough to ask.” It was an honest answer and spoken much more softly than his normal tone. He was exposing a deep wound and didn’t like to admit it, even if it was to the woman he was proposing marriage to. How much longer could he keep tonight’s real purpose a secret from her? They weren’t far into their meal and he was already struggling to keep it to himself. He was also getting a little tired of her suspicion hanging over them. It was early, but he felt it was the right time.

With a sigh, he sat up a little straighter and gave a small smile. “But more importantly, I care about you, Cadence. Because of my feelings for you, I want to have a good impression on your family. I want to gauge how far I have to go in changing their opinion of me so that they will be able to better accept our relationship. A relationship I hope is ready to take another step forward.” She looked apprehensive and he felt his stomach flip nervously. He didn’t like that look and he didn’t like the anxiety manifesting in his gut. But he didn’t show his own apprehension, instead holding her gaze confidently. “I love you, Cadence. Knowing me, you know I do not say that lightly. You are the only woman I have ever loved and I don’t want to risk losing you to anyone or anything else. If you left me again…I don’t know how I would handle that.” He reached into his inner pocket, his fingers coming around the small black box hidden there. “So I want to make this permanent. I want to make a home, a future, a life with you, Cadence. I want to devote the remainder of my life to you.” He stood from his chair, stepped to her left side and knelt down on one knee. Opening the box in his hand, he presented the elaborate platinum and diamond ring trying to read Cadence’s face for her reaction. “Will you marry me, Cadence?”

[CADENCE HIGGINS]

“I’ve always cared what your parents thought of me. I’ve just never been brave enough to ask.” It was news to her, but she understood why he wouldn't have asked about it. Robert wasn't the type to put himself out there and be vulnerable. Quite the opposite. Cadence never really considered the impact of Jude's death on the man she was eating with, but she supposed it had been equally difficult on him. They'd both suffered due to her brothers premature death and Cadence looked down at her salad as if to offer some amount of privacy during this awkward moment they'd found themselves in.

“But more importantly, I care about you, Cadence. Because of my feelings for you, I want to have a good impression on your family." Her pale eyes moved to meet his noting the smile on his face. He'd come back from the moment with grace, unlike she herself. She knew he cared for her, but she never thought that would equate to him caring about what her family thought of him. "I want to gauge how far I have to go in changing their opinion of me so that they will be able to better accept our relationship. A relationship I hope is ready to take another step forward.” Another step? He had her until that moment and Cadence suddenly felt her stomach twist. He was going to suggest cohabitation. She knew it.. He would only tolerate her having her own place for so long. She took a deep breath, waiting for the ball to drop.

“I love you, Cadence. Knowing me, you know I do not say that lightly." It was true. No one put themselves out there less than Robert. Except for maybe Cadence herself. "You are the only woman I have ever loved and I don’t want to risk losing you to anyone or anything else. If you left me again…I don’t know how I would handle that.” Her face paled as he continued speaking, suddenly starting to worry that this proclamation was for more than just cohabitation. Don't do it.. She silently begged, her hands feeling shaky. He wouldn't dare.. not now, not yet.. His hand was creeping into his pocket and the room began to spin. If this was his idea of a joke it was certainly a cruel one. “So I want to make this permanent. I want to make a home, a future, a life with you, Cadence. I want to devote the remainder of my life to you.” He stood from his chair and came to her side, kneeling down on one knee. Her eyes darted between him and the box he held. There was no second guessing what was coming now. No going back. He was going it, the idiot.

The ring was ostentatious, but undoubtedly beautiful. It's something she would have looked at and liked, but not bought for herself. Leave it to Robert to know what she'd want and not have the courage to wear. It was flashy and all she could do was stare at it as he uttered he five words she silently hoped he wouldn't. “Will you marry me, Cadence?”

It was a horrible position to be in, and she fell silent. It wasn't the response any man would want, but Robert wasn't any man and she certainly wasn't any woman. They hadn't discussed this. They'd been an official item for less than a year. What did he honestly expect from her, jumping and crying? That wasn't her style. She did love him, and she'd slowly grown more comfortable with showing her affections and even speaking them, but this.. this wasn't something she was ready for, a step the was far too soon. It lit the fight and flight response in her belly, but leaving him wasn't an option. He'd trapped her and forced her to commit to him on his terms. It was a power play and she despised him for it.

"Robert.." Her voice was soft, her heart pounding painfully in her chest. She wondered if he could hear it there on the floor, looking up to her. So strange how he could be so controlling while kneeling on the ground in front of her like a dog. "It's too soon." Her voice cracked slightly and she suddenly realized how afraid she was. This wasn't what she wanted. Not yet. Maybe someday, but she was still getting accustomed to belonging to him like this. Her head shook from side to side, though she wasn't really saying no, her brows furrowing as she gazed at the ring. It was beautiful.. She silently cursed as a shaky hand reached to touch the small, metal band with its over sized gem. "Robert.." She whispered again, not knowing what to say, what to do. She pulled her hand away, gazing into those frigid eyes of his, at a sheer loss of what to say or do. She was doomed either way; there was no winning. She knew there was one else for her. She knew she wanted nothing more than to be with only him, but it all seemed so sudden and so very permanent. He'd thoroughly defeated her.

[ROBERT SNOW]

Robert was kneeling at Cadence’s feet, a position he had never found himself in. Others were expected to kneel before him, not the other way around. The ring he presented to her was a manifestation of his very heart. He was holding it out to her, offering it completely as he had never, ever done in his long life. And the silence she offered in return was deafening. Silently he begged her not to make him a fool, but he would be damned if he would speak those words out loud. Robert didn’t beg, not when others were around to see him. There were no staff in the immediate vicinity, but that didn’t mean they weren’t watching. The longer he held the ring out to Cadence without an answer, the harder his heart pounded. He could already feel the disappointment churning in his gut.

“Robert…” No. He didn’t want her to say his name like that. Not with that pleading, frightened note behind it. “It’s too soon.” How could it be too soon? Sure, they had only been officially seeing each other for less than a year and she had disappeared for nine months before that, but they had been doing this dance for far longer. They would both be lying if either of them said they hadn’t harbored true affection for one another for at least two years. Surely she didn’t want any other man in her life. Why wouldn’t she say yes? Hard on the heels of his disbelief came the bitterness. She reached out to touch the ring, shaking her head. He was being rejected. The only woman he had ever even thought to ask to remain by his side until the end of his days was turning him down. “Robert…” He lowered his head, swallowing hard. The knot of disappointment in his throat didn’t budge. He’d never felt so close to vomiting purely from distress. Lowering the ring, he snapped the box shut and buried it in his pocket once more.

He rose from the floor, turning his back on Cadence to compose himself. With a heavy sigh, he swiped a hand over his face, rubbing his fingers into his eyes. Somehow the pressure of that relieved the pressure of the hurt collecting in his head and heart. Normally he would be furious. He couldn’t deny he felt some resentment and anger, but more than anything it was a pure sense of deep defeat. This was always a possibility, one he had put a lot of thought into. He knew this wouldn’t be the last time he asked. Cadence wouldn’t leave him, even after denying his proposal. Eventually she would say yes, he was certain of that. She loved him—there was no denying it. Oh, but how he’d hoped he wouldn’t have to ask but once. His large hand swept down his lightly bearded cheeks as if to brush off his hurt. The sound of footsteps broke him from his reverie and he looked around to see the waiter carrying their dinners in on a silver platter, his eyes looking between Cadence and Robert with a measure of curiosity and surprise. Robert cleared his throat, catching the boy’s attention. “I do apologize, young man, but would you mind wrapping those up for us? Something has come up and we will not be able to finish our evening here.” The boy looked surprised but gladly agreed before dashing out of the room. It would be a much earlier night for the boy than he’d expected, as well as the other staff.

Robert then turned back to Cadence who was watching him as if she expected him to lunge at her any moment. Instead, he went back to his seat and lowered himself into it with a heavy heart and a face to match. “I understand that perhaps this was…something I should have discussed with you. We can talk about it in private when you’ve had time to consider my proposal.” He finally met her gaze again, unable to hide his disappointment with the shock of being turned down. Reaching for his wine, he downed the rest of his glass and wished it were easier for him to get drunk. Perhaps he would be draining his bar at home tonight. “Would you prefer to come back to my place or to go home?” For the first time, he almost wished she would want him to take her home so he would have a night to hide from and bury his shame.

[CADENCE HIGGINS]

The way he lowered her head made her huff a little. He'd put her in a tight spot, did he really believe she would jump for joy? Why was he suddenly so intent on tying her down? She'd sworn not to leave him again and though it was tempting at times to break that vow, she had been true to her word. He knew where she was at all times and for the most part she'd been alright with that, but this.. He snapped the box shut and the sound made her flinch, her green eyes following the box as it disappeared back into his pocket. The hulking man stood and turned his back to her, watching him all the while and half expecting him to lash out at her. Would he do so in public? He had to know that it would go this way! Or at least there was a chance it would. Did he honestly think she would swoon for him and his beautiful ring?

The sound of footsteps coming their way made her look up, an almost dirty look on her face at the interruption of the server bringing their food. “I do apologize, young man, but would you mind wrapping those up for us? Something has come up and we will not be able to finish our evening here.” She frowned, glaring down into her lap as the boy agreed and left, resentment filling her. She'd been looking forward to this and now he was simply punishing her. He'd backed her into a corner, and was punishing her for not complying. With her teeth clenched tight she looked back up at the man she loved, expecting him to lash out at her now. It would be like him to berate her for not following his plans for her. “I understand that perhaps this was…something I should have discussed with you. We can talk about it in private when you’ve had time to consider my proposal.” Their eyes met and she could see his disappointment, but his eyes lacked the anger she expected to see. He downed the rest of his wine and she looked down at her own glass, intent on wasting it if only to prove a point that she would, and could waste his resources if he pushed her into a corner like this. It was a subtle message, but it somehow made her feel better about her situation. “Would you prefer to come back to my place or to go home?” The simple fact that he gave her the decision spoke volumes about what he actually wanted. Robert took what he wanted. If he wanted her to come home with him, there wouldn't be a choice in the matter.

"Excuse me." She was quick to her feet, bitterness tainting her voice as she walked maybe a little too quickly towards the restroom. He certainly had some nerve! Putting on a show for her, waltzing around the topic as if she wouldn't catch on that something wasn't right. Impressing her only to put all his cards on the table. Resentment was what she felt mostly, and disappointment. There was no denying how much she loved him. She expected him to give her all the time she needed. He couldn't honestly think she'd been ready for such a move. Did he even know her at all? She gazed at herself in the mirror, furious she bothered to spend so much time on looking nice for him when they were only out for thirty minutes tops. The whole evening had been very anticlimactic.

By the time she returned to the table the food had been packaged and Robert had paid the bill. He was putting his coat on and she waited for him to help her into her own coat. Just because she refused him didn't mean she expected less out of him. Once the buttons were fastened she looked up into Roberts eyes, boldness there before she grabbed her clutch. "Do with me as you wish, Robert." She answered finally, putting the ball in his court. If he wanted to bring her home then he could. If he wanted to sleep with her or get rid of her, it was fine with her. She didn't wait for a reply as she strode past him, heading for the door. Their business there was done.

[ROBERT SNOW]

“Excuse me.” Cadence was on her feet and breezing her way back to the bathroom before Robert could say anything. He just watched her go, his eyes sad and bitter. The woman was angry with him and he couldn’t understand why. He had just proposed to her and been denied—shouldn’t he be the angry one? But to his surprise, the tables had turned. Cadence was huffing and he was numb. It had been her brother’s doing the last time he’d felt like this. When the waiter brought him their wrapped up food, he thanked the young man and took the bill. He left a generous tip since none of the staff had really had a chance to piss him off. Rising to his feet, he slipped his coat on and turned just as Cadence was coming back into the room. She waited as he retrieved her coat and helped her into it, feeling rather forlorn that he wouldn’t be helping her out of it or the dress beneath this evening. He knew he could—she wouldn’t stop him. Yet he had little desire to stay with her tonight. It was just too painful a prospect.

His girlfriend grabbed her clutch before raising her chilled eyes to his. “Do with me as you wish, Robert.” She always turned it back around on him. He realized now that maybe it was a challenge to see how well he could read her and what she wanted. As she strode out of the restaurant, her head high and her step brisk, he had a feeling she wanted him to chase her. He’d done that tonight and lost with his face in the pavement. Too bad for her, he was a sore loser. Robert followed Cadence out into the parking lot, saying nothing and toting their food in a carry-out bag. He doubted he would even touch his meal until tomorrow. She waited by the car and he clicked the fob to unlock it, coming up beside her and helping her into the car, as was his custom. The dirty look she shot him made him feel a little guilty for having cut the evening short. Perhaps he should have waited longer to propose, at least until after they’d eaten. It was a waste of a lovely evening. He sighed heavily once he’d shut her door and moved around the car to the driver’s seat.

The ride back to her place was quiet. Robert was pondering where he went wrong in thinking that Cadence was ready for marriage. He was old-fashioned and realized now that maybe the smart thing to do would have been to propose cohabitation rather than marriage. When did that become acceptable over marriage? He was probably too out of touch given he was over ninety-five. Cadence wasn’t that much younger than him, though. It was only fair that he would assume she was old-fashioned too. Frustrated with those thoughts, he moved on to wondering how long she would need before she would say yes. Why had she said no in the first place? He wanted to ask, but a greater part of him didn’t want to know. She said it was too soon, yet they’d been seeing each other for quite some time, even if it hadn’t been official. And didn’t her return to him mean she was ready to commit to this relationship? Had she changed her mind since coming back? He internalized all of these questions. Instead, all he said aloud was, “I’m sorry I cut the evening short. I guess I should have waited until after we ate.” Cadence didn’t respond, but he could hear the silent reply—maybe he shouldn’t have asked at all. It made the bitter taste in his mouth that much stronger. The rest of the ride was silent but for the classical music on his radio. He pulled the car into a parking space in front of her apartment, quietly climbing out to help her from the vehicle. Taking her food out of the bag in the backseat, he gave it to her only after she insisted. Apparently she didn’t want him to even walk her upstairs. Before she could rush off, he grabbed hold of her arm and held her near. “Let me know when you’re ready to talk about this. Just…don’t make me wait forever, okay?” He didn’t know if she would heed his request. It seemed like something she would do, making him wait to have her answer simply to torture him. Even though she looked livid, Robert still leaned down to kiss her cheek, murmuring a soft, “I love you.” It was probably best to remind her of that before he took off.

[CADENCE HIGGINS]

Cadence was pouty at best as she made her way to the car, waiting for Robert to open the door for her. She offered a scowl as she got in but then looked away from him, making it clear she was unhappy with the way the evening had gone. He shut the door and moved to the drivers side, her head shifting once more to look out the window instead of at him. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this much disappointment, and though she knew he felt the same it did little to ease her mind.

The classical music and soft hum of tire on asphalt were the only sounds through most of their ride home. Home.. Cadence didn't even know which home she would be returning to, and part of her was torn. Though she knew they needed to discuss what was to become of them, she was too angry with him at the moment to do so rationally. He'd ruined everything. Why couldn't he simply be content with the progress she'd made without forcing her to go down a road she was clearly not ready for? What made him think she wanted this now? Was he really so insecure about her running off again when she'd promised over and over she wouldn't? When she had apologized and paid for her crimes against him?

“I’m sorry I cut the evening short." His apology did little to temper her mood and she didn't budge. "I guess I should have waited until after we ate.” The only difference then would be she would feel the anger and resentment later on. It wouldn't have changed her answer, or the way she felt now. Or maybe it would have, had he talked about the possibility of a union prior to flat out asking. She chose not to respond, stewing on her side of the car instead. Silence remained between them until he pulled up to her home, the sight of her building only angering her more. He didn't want to discuss this, he wanted to leave her with no choice but to say yes. There was no other option, his actions made that increasingly more clear. There was only yes. He got out of the car and came to her side, opening the door and assisting her to her feet before pulling out their packed away meals. "I'll take it." She insisted, making it clear that she wasn't planning to let him upstairs. If they weren't going to do this on his turf, they weren't going to do this tonight at all. Once she had her package she turned to leave him there, still very huffy, but his arm snatched hers before she could get far, pulling her back to him. Cadence looked up into those cold eyes, eyes slightly narrowed and lips taught. “Let me know when you’re ready to talk about this. Just…don’t make me wait forever, okay?” Now she needed to come crawling to him? She couldn't help but feel like this was all just one giant power trip which only infuriated her more. He leaned in anyway, his warm lips pressing into her cheek. Cadence stayed still, neither accepting or refusing the gesture. “I love you.” He whispered into her ear, a sentiment she wouldn't return tonight. She pulled away, certainly gentler than he might anticipate given her stance over the last half hour or so, but still she pulled away and headed inside without a second glance back.

Bitterness. The next several days were full of anger and bitterness and complete resentment. She missed Robert. When she woke from her solid state she was often confused a moment to be in her own home, Robert nowhere to be seen, until the bitter realization of the situation sank in. She tried thinking about things from his end, but that wasn't an easy task not really knowing where he was coming from mentally. Of course he loved her. Of course he wanted to make things legal. He'd have far more control that way, and though she didn't mind handing control over to him, to do so in such a permanent way, so suddenly, without any real sign or discussion on the topic, only filled her with resentment. It made him seem desperate and even more controlling. Had she not relented completely to him? She'd even begun openly offering affection, openly telling him things she never would have dreamed of before she'd run off and returned.

She spent the days following his botched proposal considering her own feelings. Though marriage wasn't entirely off the table, it was something she expected to be planned out prior. She wasn't like other women; she didn't want a surprise. The longer she waited, the more she hoped he would come to his senses and come to her, but it was becoming clear he was sticking to his guns and waiting on her. Was he that self absorbed enough to believe he was really in the right? She supposed he was. As if she'd been the cruel one in this scenario.

It had been nearly a week since he'd ruined everything and Cadence had enough of this cat and mouse game. She would go to him this once, knowing it was the last time she would do so. If things ended poorly she would not put her pride on the line again. She waited until dusk, shortly after coming back to her human form, to leave her home. He had work, and in order to have a conversation with her, he would need to call his silly little assistant and have her move things around in order to accommodate her. It was a petty move on her behalf, but it was her own way of letting him know she had control over their situation as well, and if he intended to work things out, he would do so on her time and not the other way around.

There was no hassle getting into his home as there once had been, and she wasn't about to wait for Charles to go fetch his boss and give him warning of her presence. She strode upstairs to his room, knowing his evening routine. He'd likely be dressed by now, but if he wasn't that was fine as well. It only left him more vulnerable. Cadence didn't bother knocking on his door before letting herself in. "I'm ready to talk." She announced petulantly, glowering slightly at the man she begrudging loved.

[ROBERT SNOW]

Cadence pulled away without a word and Robert didn’t stop her. She was angry and he would give her room for that, though he couldn’t understand it. He was the one who should be angry. After all of this time invested in their relationship, she was leaving him high and dry once again. But there wasn’t any anger yet—just bitterness. Even as he drowned his sorrows in a bottle of scotch that night, all he could do was glare regretfully into the deep, cold night. It began to rain and it suited his mood perfectly. He was drunker than he had been in years by the time he felt dawn nearing. Why did Cadence thrive on making his life difficult? She enjoyed his pain from what he could tell. That’s when the anger began to settle in. Couldn’t she just say yes? Why did it always have to end up in a fight? She was constantly second-guessing him and turning his emotions around on him. Cadence was a cruel lover and for a time he wondered why he couldn’t fall in love with someone who made his life easier. But alas, he knew why. Women who made things easier didn’t spark the need to conquer that Cadence awoke in him. She made him hungry for more, constantly placing challenges in his way that he was forced to meet. It was this persistent need to keep him on his toes that had driven Robert to be madly in love with her.

The days passed like weeks and Robert was too stubborn to go to Cadence. He had told her to come to him and he had to stick to that, no matter how many nights he craved to storm over to her house and demand an answer. She needed space and he would give it to her. The longer she kept him waiting, though, the angrier he became. Didn’t she know how cruel it was to make him wait so long? He loved her! He wanted to marry her! Why was she punishing him for that? What motive could she possibly have for torturing him this way? He didn’t think it was such a crime to ask her to marry him without discussing it with her first. The only reprieve he had from his thoughts was court in which he was forced to give his undivided attention. Still, it was a good thing Ella was such a diligent recorder of these proceedings. The notes would come in handy for jogging his drifting mind.

It was a full week and he still hadn’t heard anything from Cadence. He was numb with frustration, disappointment, bitterness and anger as he prepared for work. Cadence could make him wait all she wanted—every day she lingered was another day she would need to go without him. Even if she said no to his proposal, he knew she loved him and craved his presence late in the night. Punishing him for his proposal was just as much a punishment to herself. He was fastening the last of the buttons on his shirt when the door to his room flung open. Turning from the mirror with his eyes blazing, Robert was ready to berate the fool that had barged in without knocking when he noticed who that fool was. There was Cadence, as beautiful and angry as ever. “I’m ready to talk.” Now? When he was about to leave for work? That’s when he realized this was her own little revenge—he’d have to call out for the day and leave Ella to handle with rearranging his schedule. As if she had any right to revenge! He had made it clear she was to come to him when she was ready! With a heavy sigh, he grabbed his phone from his nightstand and immediately pulled up Ella’s number from his favorites. She answered with a polite, “Hello, Robert.” “Hello, Ella. Unfortunately I won’t be able to make it in tonight due to some unforeseen circumstances. Please send my apologies and reschedule my appointments. Postpone court for tomorrow and let everyone know court tomorrow will be extended for three hours.” Nothing seemed to rattle Ella and she assured him in a perfectly calm voice that she would do as instructed. He apologized to her as well and thanked her for handling it before he hung up. His eyes then returned to his former assistant with slight reproach, noting how tensely she carried herself. He knew to brace himself for an argument. “I’m yours for the night, my dear.” Strolling to the couch by the large window, he set himself down before the wet windowpanes, his pale eyes coming back to her jade ones. “Have a seat and let’s talk.” He would let her lead the conversation as she wished.

[CADENCE HIGGINS]

The look in his eyes satisfied her on some level. She Like how annoyed he looked and was pleased with the little sigh that escaped his lips as he pulled his phone out to call his little secretary. ”Hello, Ella. Unfortunately I won’t be able to make it in tonight due to some unforeseen circumstances. Please send my apologies and reschedule my appointments. Postpone court for tomorrow and let everyone know court tomorrow will be extended for three hours.” Part of her wanted to snap that this wouldn’t take long, if only to anger him, but she bit her tongue. It would take long. She wasn’t fool enough to believe that they were going to resolve things quickly, and honestly she didn’t even really know how to begin. The soft way he spoke to the other girl somehow hit a nerve with her, though. He’d never been so kind when she was beneath him. Then again, she was probably more difficult to work with, always having a chip on her shoulder. Some things never really changed.

“I’m yours for the night, my dear.” Her lips pursed slightly as he made his way causally to the couch, sliding onto it as though this were going to be some easy conversation, the arrogant prick. He probably expected an apology from her, maybe even a little begging. Maybe he hoped that would be the case, as if she had somehow changed in the last week, as if she didn’t see through him completely. “Have a seat and let’s talk.” She stayed where she was, her legs frozen. She didn’t feel like abiding by his rules tonight. She didn’t feel like he deserved this much control over her when she’d given herself to him so completely in the last ten months.

After a long moment she finally pushed herself forward, knowing they couldn’t very well have a conversation across the room from each other. Her heels clicking was the only sound in the room other than the way her heart hammered there in her chest. When she got in front of him she stopped, though she refused to sit, opting to stand there instead, her arms down at her side as she grimaced slightly at the ground between them. So many things she wanted to say, none of which she had the courage to. It was so different being there in front of him.

“I have my limits, Robert.” Bitter green eyes finally lifted, making her stance finally seem so much less submissive than it had since she’d entered the room. “I have given myself to you wholly since I came back. I have pushed the limits of my comfort, bent over backwards to be what I knew you both wanted and expected.” She reminded, “And I have done so willingly. Happily, even, knowing how much pleasure it brought you, how much pleasure it would bring me in return.” Hers hands curled into fists at her side, a sign at the emotion bubbling inside. “You know I love you. I’ve begrudgingly admitted it over and over, so why do you feel the need to legally tie me down? I’ve willingly handed control to you. Why must you insist on trapping me? Is that honestly the only way I can prove my loyalty?” The hurt and bitterness she’d been bottling all week were apparent in her facial features, and even in the way her voice wavered softly as she accused him. If only he knew how dearly she was holding back from striking him.