*BBF: Cremating Memories [Claire/Open]

[GRIFFIN CARTWRIGHT]

The day was clear and beautiful. They couldn't have asked for a more perfect day for the Boat Burning Festival to take place, though Griffin felt perhaps the air was still a bit too chilly. He wore his windbreaker, a jacket he truly loved. It was light and hid the shape of his body well, without skimping on style. Griffin wasn't one to be trendy when it came to fashion, but he did his best to look his best. He didn't buy designer clothing, or go out of his way to look a specific way, but he always looked clean and well put together, unless he had skipped shaving that week. Griffins facial hair had always had a problem coming in a little too quickly, and he struggled with keeping up with it, not liking to shave on a daily basis due to his slightly sensitive skin. Everything about him was delicate; his features, his personality, his bones... despite that he was surprisingly strong both physically and mentally. It was all part of the charm that came with being an Avisaille.

Griffin had made plans to meet up with Claire at the Festival. He didn't really have anything to burn himself, but he always enjoyed coming to the festival. It was fun to walk alongside the boat prior to the burning and see what others have tossed in there. He'd seen some good things in there before; journals, photos, even a laptop once. He wondered about that one. The police usually watched to make sure no one took anything from the boat. It was all in there for a reason, and their privacy needed to be respected, despite how curious onlookers were.

Griffin looked down at his watch. He had arrived a little early, mostly because he didn't like to be late. He would rather wait an hour than have Claire wait five minutes for him. It was just how he was. It was the first time he was going with Claire. Mainly this was because last year he had not met her yet when the festival was taking place, so he had gone with Flynn. She mentioned she would be going and he hoped to run into her at some point. If not he was sure he would bump into her or meet up with her later in the week or perhaps the next. It was always lovely running into his good friend, but they could easily go months without seeing each other and their friendship wouldn't be harmed in the least. It was simply the nature of their friendship.

Griffin wondered if Claire would be bringing anything with her to burn. He wished he had something, but there were no physical momentous he wanted to rid himself of this year. All of his regrets were often internal ones; things he wished he had done differently or things he wished he had not said, or on the contrary thing he wished he had said. This past year, though, he had only a few regrets, as people often do have.

They weren't to meet for another fifteen minutes. The boys eyes moved to the vendors and then back to the bench they mentioned they would be meeting at. A slight breeze swept through the air, tousling his hair a little. He smiled and took a deep breath, filling his lungs and slowly exhaling. He would have time. Griffin made his way to the vendor and waited for his turn, pulling his wallet out. He purchased two hot chocolates and made his way back towards the bench, seeing the familiar red hair. Of course she would come when he had walked away for a moment.

"Happy boat burning." He greeted, extending his hand with the white Styrofoam cup, steam billowing out the hole in the lid. "I got you a hot chocolate. Did you bring anything for the boat?"

[CLAIRE MCLEESTER]

Claire wasn't normally one to wear things that didn't match and give her a nice sense of style. But for the boat burning festival, considering how cool the air felt with the light breeze blowing, she definitely felt the chill that was in the air. So she had worn a button up shirt and at the last minute decided to throw on a sweater and a sweater vest. So she had the cuffs of a blue dress shirt sprouting out of a cream colored sweater underneath a plaid sweater vest in yellow and red. It was almost like she'd gotten dressed in the dark, yet it still had a nice look to it. She even put a grey beanie hat on which made her ears stick out a bit, her red hair pooling over her shoulders.

Not only did she dress like a total geekazoid but she also had a messenger bag slung over her left shoulder. She had come prepared! She'd missed a couple of burning boat festivals because of either working, coming down with some serious allergies, or just not feeling up to it. But this time she was meeting up with Griffin! Not only that, she had a good five years worth of things she was ready to throw in the boat and get rid of it. Like a romance novel she bought! It was the first and last she'd ever bought. It had Fabio on the cover and it was just awful. That definitely needed to be burned.

When she arrived at their meeting spot she didn't see the blonde haired hunk of man that was not only her coworker, but was also a Guardian! She still couldn't believe he was like her! Well, almost like her. He was different but the same! It made sense in her mind at least.

She took a set and set the messenger bag beside her on the bench and looked around, peering through the crowd of people that were walking around to try and see if he were coming from either direction. That's when she spotted him coming straight to her with two cups of something that was giving off steam in his hands. Her face lit right up when she saw him.

"Hey! Yes! Happy boat burning woo!" She said playfully and wiggled her fingers in the air as if they were going to get down and party! Then she took one of the cups from him, figuring he had gotten it for her. "Hot chocolate? YUM. Thank you." The heat felt nice on her hands.

When Griffin asked Claire if she brought anything to burn she nodded. "Of course! I missed a few boat burnings so I've got a few things that I want to roast. You know.. bad yearbook photos, a retainer.. stuffed animal or two?"

[GRIFFIN CARTWRIGHT]

He didn't notice anything really off about her get up. Claire often wore things that Griffin found odd. They were what he assumed was trendy, because despite how strange some of her combinations were, she always looked well put together and very nice. She had a way of pulling off almost any style, he realized. He wondered if it was the shape of her body, or if it was perhaps something more animalistic. She was a Therian, after all.

"You're welcome." He said kindly when she thanked him for the drink. "...I've got a few things that I want to roast. You know.. bad yearbook photos, a retainer.. stuffed animal or two?" Griffin grinned as his eyes roamed to the satchel she had around her shoulder. The cup moved to his lips and he took a sip of the rich, hot liquid. It tasted instant but at least they used milk so it didn't have hat watered down taste to it.

"I can't imagine you ever photographing poorly." He told her honestly. Claire was awkward in many ways, but when it came to her looks he felt there was likely never a time in her life where she was unappealing. Her features were delicate and petite. Her complexion was one, in Griffin's opinion, to be envied. Her skin was pale with a splatter of freckles that gave her a look of innocence like a little girl.

"But, I can't stop you from burning what you want to burn." He said after a moment, feeling it was wrong to deter her from what she had decided to do with her own belongings. He wanted to see them, and wondered if she would actually show them. "Can I see?" He asked as they began strolling around, his attention on her despite the crowd. "I promise not to tease." He chuckled

[CLAIRE MCLEESTER]

At the comment about her and her photogenic-ness she scoffed a little and rolled her eyes while taking a sip of the hot cocoa. It didn't taste half bad and that was surprising since it was from a street vendor. She licked her lips, feeling the liquid sticking to her upper lip a bit after the sip she took. After she wiped it off with her tongue she took the styrofoam cup between her lips and bit into it lightly so she could hold it there with her teeth and keep her hands free.

Claire reached down into her bag and pulled out a hard covered green yearbook. Once she had it out she held it in one hand and gripped the cup before she dropped it and drained the rest of the hot cocoa down her throat before tossing the cup into a nearby trash bin as they walked. Now without the cup her hands were free enough to open it up and look for her picture. "This one is from my junior year in high school. I had braces and forgot it was picture day and it was really really windy!"

When Claire found her picture she sighed and looked at it for a moment before shaking her head and holding it at an angle so that Griffin could see it as well. Claire had a huge smile in the picture, except it wasn't the same smile that Claire had these days. She had a mouth full of metal, her braces taking up her mouth and giving her a goofy look. Also her red hair seemed to be nappy on one side and sticking out all weird. Her nose was slightly pink, probably from the wind from that day, and she had blinked when they took the picture. It was a nightmare. "Not really photogenic that day if you ask me."

The sight of her awful yearbook photo made her cringe. She'd done so much for herself to make sure she didn't look like that girl anymore. She'd learned how to wear makeup the right way, how to wear flattering clothes and how to stand up straight. She had an awkward childhood and most of her old classmates didn't recognize her when they bumped into her.

Thinking about high school made her wonder what Griffin was like when he went to high school. Did he go to school like other kids did? Was he ever awkward or did he always look so.. Griffin-like? She decided the only way she would find out is if she asked, right? "What about you? Did you go to high school? Were you ever awkward and weird?"

[GRIFFIN CARTWRIGHT]

When Claire pulled out the whole book he felt a ping of sadness in his heart. She was willing to throw an entire book of memories away over a picture? This was a book to commemorate a year of her life, something he wished he'd had but of course he did not. Griffin didn't attend school like other children, therefor he never received a yearbook but had always loved the idea of one. Wouldn't that be something, though? A school full of winged children!

When she flipped to her picture, Griffin smiled. It wasn't an amused, taunting smile, but a heartfelt one. He saw beyond the metal and messy hair. He saw Claire, young and beautiful. Sure, she looked awkward and certainly a mess, but her smile was still beautiful in its own way and he felt privileged to be able to see a glimpse into her personal history.

He wished he could tell her what he thought, but he could never tell her how beautiful she was in that photograph. Claire would never believe him, even when he was being sincere. "It's not nearly as bad as you think." He told her softly, sliding an arm around her shoulder in a friendly gesture. He liked the way her warmth radiated to him when he moved close enough to her to have his arm there, looking over and down at her with a slight smile.

When she mentioned his schooling he simply shook his head. "Could you imagine the ruckus I would have caused changing for physical education?" He gave a dramatic cringe for effect. "No, we're all home schooled. It just makes life less difficult if we don't have to explain ourselves." He told her honestly. "It also gives us the opportunity to learn of our kind, and we also tend to spend a great deal of time studying geography to prepare us for the journey we take." He had explained his little leave of absence the other night and knew she would understood what he meant.

"As for me being awkward.. I don't really know." He had no idea if he had ever gone through an odd stage or not. "I didn't have many peers to compare myself to. Also by the time I looked like I was fifteen I was already thirty. My awkward teenage years were spent in the body of a child." He shook his head and shrugged. He had a feeling she wouldn't like that answer, knowing she wanted him to have suffered in the same way. Not because she had any ill will towards him, but he could tell she didn't want to be alone.

"Don't brush me off.." He warned, a smile in his tone as he spoke, eyes downcast towards her as they walked easily down the pier. "Beauty is on the inside. Of course it always helps when it's outside as well, and even in that photo I can see how beautiful you are behind the awkward exterior. You see only yourself in that picture, but you fail to recognize the other children with braces or messy hair. They were just as awkward as you, Claire. They just hid it better is all." He remembered being unsure of who or what he was. There was a time he hated his wings and wished to be normal and he wondered if those words might ease her mind.

"I may not have suffered as you had at the hands of my peers, but I had my own set of disappointment as a youth. I wasn't able to attend school like a normal child. I couldn't play sports or make friends outside my own species. You would think wings meant freedom, but really they're their own prison. This is part of the reason I love the museum so much. It kept me stimulated." He finished his drink and tossed the empty cup in the trash before continuing. "I'm fortunate to have them, I see that now, but there was a time in my life I wished otherwise. I sometimes wish I could have been in that yearbook with you and been able to experience all those horrible awkward moments I missed. You look at this book and you see years of torment and self loathing. I see normal. You're more fortunate than you realize. Braces and messy hair are a small price to pay, especially considering how beautiful you were inside. And out. Only you couldn't see it yet."

He knew he had likely changed nothing, but he had tried. With a small laugh he eyed her once more. "Would you be pleased to hear a was extremely scrawny when I was young? I didn't really discover the perks of physical fitness until about a decade ago. Until then I was too lean and stringy. I also went through a long haired phase." He shuddered. "That wasn't a very pretty time in my life." He licked his lips and squeezed her shoulder, pulling her closer to him in a sort of sideways hug. "If you like I'll show you my photo album. It's the closest thing I have to a yearbook. Then you can tell me whether or not I was awkward, seeing as you're the expert on the subject."

[CLAIRE MCLEESTER]

One thing that Claire had to be prepared for was the constant compliments she received when she was around Griffin. For someone who had only been complimented a handful of times in her entire life, his compliments were flattering but hard for her to accept. They didn't make her feel uncomfortable the way it would if it were a stranger complimenting her, it was different. It was more like he was trying to boost up her self confidence, and sometimes it worked. Not that she would just flat out say that to him.

Her eyes looked down at the pictures around her. Sure, a few of them had braces and a few had a messy head of hair, but not the way that Claire's was. Or at least not in her eyes anyway. In her eyes everyone else around her was perfect and she was the mess. Then again, didn't everyone feel that way in high school? The awkward teen years, the uncomfortable growth spurts, and of course when you didn't have a parent around to help you through all those changes it was tough. Claire had Cheyenne, but Cheyenne was just a child herself at that time and wasn't much help. She was too busy going out with her dumb friends to help Claire learn how to use hairspray.

She listened silently to Griffin explain how his awkward stage didn't happen the same way that hers had. Of course because of his slow rate of aging he was a teenage but still looked like a little kid! Maybe he didn't actually go through puberty and have his hormones act like raging bulls during his teen years? She couldn't imagine being stuck in her teenage body for longer than she had been, and here Griffin probably was for double the time she was! Claire was still trying to wrap her head around that age thing. She accepted it but she just couldn't grasp it.

With Griffin's arm around Claire's shoulders she couldn't help but lean into him a bit. And his playful voice made her laugh loudly and shake her head under the beanie. She shut her book and slid it easily back into the messenger bag that was slapping against her side with each step they took. She looked over at him and stuck her tongue out playfully when he told her not to brush him off. But she quickly stuck her tongue back in her mouth and smiled at him before looking at the ground to watch where she stepped. There were more people on the actual pier and she didn't want to accidentally step on anyone. Or be stepped on.

When he explained how he once resented his wings Claire felt herself growing sad at the very thought of it. She could relate to him when it came to that. Although she didn't have a set of wings attached to her shoulder blades, once a month she couldn't keep from changing. She felt like she would miss out on a lot because of it. Although it wasn't nearly as bad as Griffin and she felt like an idiot now for feeling the way she did back then. Junior year she had to miss prom because it was on a full moon. She'd lucked out senior year however since prom landed on a new moon.

At the comment about Griffin being extremely scrawny and having long hair Claire looked over at him and gasped, a surprised look on her face. "No way!" She exclaimed and then burst into laughter. The thought of a scrawny, long haired Griffin was amusing to her. He didn't seem like the scrawny type! At least not now anyway. And the now Griffin was the only Griffin that Claire had ever known! "I have to see photos! We're going to get them right after we burn my stuff! I want to see every single embarrassing photo you've ever taken. No holding back!" She told him and stuck a finger up and wiggled it playfully at him as if she were going to scold him if he didn't let her see them. Of course she wouldn't do that! "I can't picture you with long hair. Or all lanky either. You're so.. perfect! It's like you're photoshopped or something!"

Claire shook her head at the thought of seeing an awkward Griffin. There was a part of her that was excited and happy about it. It made him seem almost human. Not that he wasn't.. although really he wasn't, but she meant it in a different way! "I guess everyone has their own story with a bit of a rough patch. It makes us who we are though. You think I would be the same dweeby, totally rad Claire if it wasn't for Cheyenne threatening to bite me if I touched her mascara? I don't think so." She shook her head, mainly just saying it to be playful with him. She could see the boat getting closer and she sort of wished that Griffin had something to throw in there with her!

"Hey, you need something to throw into the boat. What are we going to have you throw in? OH! I know!" Claire reached back into her bulky messenger bag and pulled out a dark brown stuffed teddy bear who was not only missing an eye but also an ear and a foot. Almost like some kind of animal used it as a chew toy. "This here is Mr. Snuggles. He was my sad time bear. Whenever I was sad I'd cuddle up to him when I was younger and he'd make me feel better. And when I was mad.. well.. I would kind of chew on him." She admitted a little embarrassed at her honest explanation for why he was so ratty looking.

"I want to get rid of it because it's getting old. I mean.. he's practically falling apart! Not to mention I think I've burdened him with enough sadness for one lifetime. If you have anything that makes you sad or that you regret, just whisper it to him and he'll listen. He's an awesome listener. I think I'm ready for a new Mr. Snuggles." She held it out as an offering to Griffin, to see if he would accept it.

"This can be what you throw in the boat."

[GRIFFIN CARTWRIGHT]

He chuckled, pleased that she was pleased finally. It was silly for her to find some sort of satisfaction knowing he had been what she would consider awkward at some point in his life, but he knew why. Claire thought highly of him. She had never truly bothered to hide the fact she found him visually appealing, and he knew she didn't see herself as an attractive young woman. Why was beyond him. He got the feeling that she had been hit on plenty but never noticed, or got so tongue tied she scared the guy off before he could get to the whole flirting part. Any man would need to be a blind idiot not to see her outer beauty. "I promise, you can look through all my photo albums. Actually, if you like when we're finished here you can come home with me and I'll show you. Otherwise, we can do it another time." He offered, liking the idea of spending the evening with her since the boat burning would be over by 9:30 or 10.

"Hey, you need something to throw into the boat. What are we going to have you throw in? OH! I know!" Griffin looked down at the bear, studying it. Poor thing looked like it had been thrown in traffic a few dozen times, but when she described its treatment over the years i made sense why. Why would Claire burn him, he wondered. His question was answered sooner than later.

"I want to get rid of it because it's getting old." Griffin was a sentimental guy. He had a hard time getting rid of things that held a great deal of significance, and Mr. Snuggles seemed to do just that. "I think I'm ready for a new Mr. Snuggles." He reached for it with his free hand, still holding the girl beside him. "This can be what you throw in the boat."

He felt weird with the idea of throwing her bear into the flames, but it was her wish for him to do so and he would. He nodded. "We'll find you a new Mr. Snuggles. A more durable one." He promised with a kind, amused grin. "Until then, you're free to use me as a replacement. Accept I'd like it if you didn't chew on me." The smile faded though a little as they walked.

"Sometimes, Claire, the things we would like to burn aren't tangible." He told her, glimpsing at her before he looked away, back to Mr. Snuggles, turning him over in his hands. "I feel terrible for not trusting you. That night in the museum... I hurt you when I pulled away from you. You're just... you're so young. You don't act young, though. You are by far one of the most mature humans..." He swallowed and the laughed, "Well, maybe not human, but you know. You're just mature for your age. I was certain you would hate me if you knew the truth about me. I never should have doubted you. I wish I could burn that moment. I wish I could go back and do things differently. I have many regrets like that from my life. I'm ashamed that I hurt you. I could see it in your eyes and I hated knowing that hings became tense because of me. I thought our friendship was over."

The smile returned and he squeezed her shoulder. "I'm glad it's not. I'm glad you're fascinated by me and not repulsed."

[CLAIRE MCLEESTER]

"I'm glad it's not. I'm glad you're fascinated by me and not repulsed."

Everything Griffin said came from deep down in his heart. Claire liked that Griffin was so genuine and he didn't hide behind some quirky facade like a lot of people did. Especially men it seemed. Not that she talked to a lot of men but they always seemed to have different sides to them. The few times that one would flirt with her, she'd be suckered into thinking that was the way they were. And when she opened her mouth they changed into another person entirely, becoming disinterested and skittering away. Griffin wasn't like that. Griffin was kind, honest and just very open.

"Are you kidding? You're revolting!" Claire said melodramatically and a big smile spread across her face and she took this opportunity to nervously and very hesitantly put her arm around his waist since he had an arm slung over her shoulders. It was just more comfortable to walk that way instead of awkwardly with one arm cradled in front of her like there was something wrong with it. At first she felt the harness and quickly moved her arm lower before dropping it completely with embarrassment. "Sorry!" She whispered sharply. She didn't do it on purpose!

She recalled the night of the museum heist, thinking about how she had kissed him and how he'd pulled away. He was being honest, telling her how he felt and what he thought about the entire situation. She decided that she could do the same with him. Not that it ever stopped her before. She didn't have a great filter in place and she spoke her mind way too often.

"I think it was the shock of everything that was going on. We had Herbie there waiting for us, it was our jobs on the line, then of course I just.. well I never did anything like that before! That entire night was a new experience for me. Everything in it. I'm not the type to put the moves on someone and that night I learned that I was right. I'm not that kind of girl. I don't throw myself out there like that. But I'm glad that I did it with you and not some random Joe. Sure, I felt like an idiot but isn't that how it always is?" She chuckled nervously, wondering if she even made sense. Her brows furrowed and she bit at her bottom lip gently as she tried to go over what she just said in her mind.

"I.. don't know if that made much sense? Then again when do I ever make sense?!" Claire threw her hands up in the air, ready to go on one of her tangents and actually stepped away from him and out from under his arm. She began to pace a bit. "I j-just... no, that's not it. Let's backtrack here!" Claire imitated hitting rewind with her fingers, rotating them in circles as if that would back it up.

"Maybe what I'm trying to say is.. it's okay? I wasn't lying when I told you I would be okay. I bounce back like a slinky! Although slinkys don't really bounce back they just sort of.. slink down stairs and then stop. Sometimes they fall over and roll around and maybe that's what I meant.. no." She shook her head. "No I don't think so." She had gone completely off subject and had gotten herself lost somehow. But then again, she usually did that. If she kept talking she'd eventually get back on topic!

"I think I lost myself this time.. for real. We were talking about... that kiss, right? Or.. yes? No?" She nodded then shook her head, not really paying any attention to Griffin even though she was looking right at him. Then she finally just shrugged. "So anyway! We're good! We're great.. we're better than great! We're exceptional!" She smiled, approving of her choice in word.

"You know what? Regrets? Regrets!" She snapped her fingers and then pointed at him. She found her way back somehow! She wasn't sure how but she managed it. "Aha! That's right! Regrets.. regrets are.. they're.. they shouldn't be something you think about.." She shook her head like it was no big deal and gave a silly little scoff. She had no idea what she was saying. "Was there crack in that hot chocolate you gave me? Whew!" She was going to go off subject again but then she snapped herself back by yelping which made a woman in close proximity jump and look at her with surprise. Claire looked back and nervously waved, mouthing a little 'sorry'.

"I'm a walking poster child for regret! I regret things all the time. I regret wearing this darn hat!" She pointed at the beanie on her head. She felt she looked ridiculous. "But if we just focused on our regrets then we wouldn't get out of bed in the morning. Whatever you regret, you have to just let it out somehow. Me? I talk to stuffed animals and my cat. I yell and bounce on my bed like a five year old. Some might think I'm a little whacky? Well honey badger don't care!" She said loudly and then put her face in her hands and let out a deep sigh. This was why she shouldn't be allowed in public. Sometimes she considered admitting herself into a mental institute or getting some kind of medicine for her anxiety issues she seemed to have.

"What I'm trying to say is don't regret what happened that night. If you have any regrets don't let that be one. I don't regret it. I mean I did a little that night but I don't anymore. I'm glad I did what I did. I have a feeling we wouldn't be where we are now if I didn't. Although, I definitely imagined it to have happened differently in my head but not everything happens the way you want, right?" She chuckled nervously and then buried her face in her hands again. What was wrong with her?!

[GRIFFIN CARTWRIGHT]

"Are you kidding? You're revolting!" Griffin's brows raised and he looked over at her, a smile spreading wide over his face. She was adorable, and when he felt her arm around him it wasn't a cause for concern for probably the first time in his life. He didn't mind if she felt the harness. She'd seen it already, and she'd seen him without it on, something very few people in the world could say. Actually, probably the first person to see it outside of his species, but he felt sad when she pulled away and apologized. "No need for apologies." He assured her, wishing she would slide her arm back in place, but she didn't.

Claire was easily wounded, it seemed. Her ego was as fragile as a card tower and on constant threat of tumbling. It was difficult to build her back up once she managed to let herself collapse, so he didn't push her when she didn't put her arm back in place. He knew in time she would come to trust herself around him as much as he trusted her.

As she explained that evening in the museum he did his very best to not only pay attention, but to understand why things had gotten so jumbled for her. The constant switch in direction made it difficult to follow her train of thought, but he did what he could. Griffin was a man of knowledge. He loved to learn, devouring books as they became available, loving most topics he studied, but no matter how hard he studied Claire she always took him for a loop. He couldn't pay half attention to her words or he would absolutely miss something.

"...I don't throw myself out there like that. But I'm glad that I did it with you and not some random Joe. Sure, I felt like an idiot but isn't that how it always is?" Griffin bit his lip and shook his head. He didn't know, but he had the distinct feeling that Claire would always feel like an idiot for the things she'd done. It was a burden she would need to carry until she realized she was in complete control of herself after all. He couldn't teach her that, even if he wanted to.

He kept a steady eye on her instead of where he was going as she tried to backtrack a bit, her arms moving and forcing another grin on his face. She has no idea how perfect she is, he thought sadly to himself.

"I think I lost myself this time.. for real. We were talking about... that kiss, right? Or.. yes? No?" He nodded and watched as she did the same, then shook her head. He smiled. "So anyway! We're good! We're great.. we're better than great! We're exceptional!" He couldn't help chuckling. How did she come full circle? Or...did she? She went into her little regrets lecture. "No crack." He told her when she seemed to be getting too excited once more. How did she find that sort of energy? Griffin was calm and collected as she went on and on and he wasn't entirely sure what direction she was heading now.

"I'm a walking poster child for regret! I regret things all the time. I regret wearing this darn hat!" His eyes moved to the hat, wondering why she hated it. "It looks beautiful." He told her softly, knowing she would dismiss it, or possibly not even hear him over her own rants, like when she called herself honey badger and he had to raise a brow. They were vicious little creatures, and very unattractive. The complete opposite of Claire in every way. But she was whacky, that was for sure.

"I'm glad I did what I did........Although, I definitely imagined it to have happened differently in my head but not everything happens the way you want, right?" He blinked and watched her cover her face. She'd said too much, or he thought that's how she was feeling. In honesty she'd said just enough and Griffin reached to her face to take the hands that were covering it away so he could see her, Mr. Snuggles dangling awkwardly from his hand.

"You're right." He told her softly. "I need to get my regrets out. That's the only way to fix it, isn't it? I can't burn them...can I?" He looked down at her feet, bashful. In all his years, he'd never been sweet on a girl the way he was Claire. He didn't know how to treat them, when in reality he knew exactly how. He listened, showed chivalry, cared... but he'd never felt for anyone the way he did Claire. He wanted to be with her all the time, even before the kiss, but it took that single more for him to realize why he wanted to be around her. He found himself thinking about it often, which was why he regretted his decision so much to pull away. His intentions had been right. He was perhaps too level headed for his own good and maybe he ought to live life a little more spontaneously. He took no risks. Ever. Claire seemed to take a risk every time she put one foot in front of the other.

"I'm glad you did what you did, too." He told her, clasping her hands with his. He shook his head, looking like he had something to say, only no words to say them. He struggled internally for a moment before letting his lips part again. "I like my solitude." He told her and then licked his lips. "It's not because I don't enjoy the company of others, I just simply... I don't want to get hurt. No one likes getting hurt. Furthermore I don't want to hurt anyone else. I never want anyone to suffer at my hands." He gulped and then shook his head and laughed, pulling away.

"We should go put this stuff in the boat." He told her, afraid of his own desires. Then he remembered the thought he'd had just a moment before. He needed a bit of spontaneity. He needed to take risks. He needed to be more like Claire, doing things without thinking.

His head turned back to her and without a second though he slid his hand to the nape of her neck and pulled it up towards his face, his lips pressing against hers. It's what he'd secretly wanted to do since that night at the museum, too afraid of how she would react, but he suddenly just didn't care. He didn't have to ever say goodbye if he didn't want to. His secret was out and she accepted him.

He'd never, in all his years, kissed someone like that before.

---

permission to power play granted by Claire

[CLAIRE MCLEESTER]

"We should go put this stuff in the boat."

Claire couldn't agree more! They could throw their regrets, the bad yearbook photos, everything in the fire! Get rid of it and start fresh. She was in the middle of taking a step in his direction so she could follow him when he turned around and everything happened so fast! Claire looked up right when Griffin wrapped his hand behind her neck and before she could even open her mouth to ask what he was doing his lips was pressing against hers. Her eyes went wide for a moment and her body went rigid as her brain tried to comprehend what was going on!

Then she melted.

Her knees grew weak and her legs became unsteady. Butterflies formed deep in the pit of her stomach and she got chills all at the same time! Claire tried not to think too much, she didn't want to ruin the moment. Her hands slowly made their way up to his shoulders, her fingers trailing gently to his cheeks and then her arms wrapped around his neck as she went on her tip toes and pressed her lips firmly against his to make the kiss last. She didn't want to pull away!

It took Claire a moment before she slowly pulled her lips away, her cheeks flushed and nearly as red as the hair on her head. Her green eyes opened up but she didn't let go of his neck. She held onto him, keeping herself pressed against him and she waited to see if he would open his own eyes so she could look into them. A part of her felt a bit of shame because she wanted to just ravage him right then and there. But that wasn't like Claire at all! That had to be her animal side coming up to the surface to say hello. She tried not to think of that and her cheeks blushed even more.

Her breathing was a bit uneven and she tried her best to give a smile without looking like a doofus who had never been kissed before. She'd been kissed plenty of times! Just none of them seemed to have the same sort of spark as this one had. She'd felt it when she kissed him the first time, but this time it was better. They had shared their secrets with one another and she'd never felt so open with anyone apart from her sister before. But she wasn't going to go kiss her sister now, was she?!

Claire was afraid to say anything. She was afraid to even speak! And because that was on her mind that was exactly what she said when she did finally say something. "I'm afraid if I start talking I'll ruin the moment." She said in all honesty and her smile stayed planted on her lips. She didn't want to let go of him. She didn't want to move at all! She liked the way it felt and she knew as long as she didn't say anything more or try to do anything else she wouldn't make a fool of herself.

Griffin had just kissed her!

[GRIFFIN CARTWRIGHT]

He knew he'd taken Claire by surprise given her reaction to his embrace. Hell, he;d taken himself by surprise. No easy task for Griffin Cartwright who was always a little too predictable with his low key behavior. She had become jelly in his hands. He could feel how weak she'd become and he had no idea if it was normal or not, but when her arms moved up gently towards his face and around his neck he knew he'd done something right. It felt so, so right. More right than anything he could remember doing in recent years. The closest thing he could think to compare it to was cliff diving topless in Norway so many years ago.

The bear in his hands slipped to the ground as he put all his attention on her, as he often did when with Claire. The hand at her neck eased slightly and his other hand moved up, cradling her face in them both. She even felt lovely to the touch, like a painting come to life. He was surprised by how emotional it made him, not really knowing what to expect. Griffin wasn't this sort of person. He liked romance very much and had been fascinated by it, seeing how so many operas, plays, films and books were based on it. But despite how romantic he acted at times, at least in the eyes of most women, he never felt romantically towards anyone.

Until now.

When Claire pulled away it was because the moment had ended, not because she was scared or confused as he had been a few nights prior. They were sill close and his eyes opened to gaze down into hers. He could see her smile in the way her eyes creased at the sides, which in turn made him to the same. Her eyes were telling him everything was okay. More than okay, even.

Her raspy breath warmed his lips and he he swallowed hard, wanting to kiss her again, which sort of surprised him. "I'm afraid if I start talking I'll ruin the moment." He smiled again, a gentle laugh rumbling in the back of his throat.

"The only way you could have ruined this moment was if you pulled away like I did the other day." He explained, a tinge of remorse in his words. He gulped and let his hands drop to her shoulders, a sense of pride swimming in his belly that he'd done something like that. He blushed. "Would you believe me if I said I'd never done anything like that before?" She knew his age and he knew how humans valued anything considered sexual. He hadn't done any of it. He never had a desire to, and truth be told he always thought sex as an act to procreate and that was all. It wasn't the recreational hobby so many used it as.

Not that he knew what he was missing.

"I wasn't too forward, was I?" He asked bashfully, pulling away a little more and letting real life come back to them. He bent down and picked up the bear, putting a free hand on her arm, wanting to guide her towards the boat if she wanted. He didn't know if she was ready. She looked so flustered and it was beautiful. Her cheeks looked nice in that shade of pink. "I just...I've been wanting to. I though it would be alright since you said you did." He licked his lips, having the feeling it was all fine, but for some reason he needed the verbal verification. It was all part of who he was.

[CLAIRE MCLEESTER]

Claire was still grinning like a fool when they finally peeled themselves apart and she stood there watching him pick up her mangled bear. She wanted to just keep kissing him! She wanted to do it over and over again. She was just so happy that she didn't know what to do with herself! She knew that once she got home later that night she was going to end up screaming, dancing and flailing all around her studio apartment! She'd call Cheyenne and tell her all about it! The neighbors would probably call security on her and they'd bang on her door and tell her to keep it down, and of course she'd apologize and then go jump on her bed and sing her happy song!

"Would you believe me if I said I'd never done anything like that before?"

It was like she suddenly heard a record scratching and her attention was back on him. "W-wait a minute. Never done anything like that before as in taking the initiative? Or the kissing part?" She wanted to make sure she got that right. Griffin wasn't a controversial or even a very forward person, but she couldn't imagine that he'd never kissed someone before! How could he not?! He was just so damn HOT! If she could have she would have torn his clothes off like some wild animal right there on the pier.

She shook her head.

Claire was starting to think like Cheyenne and that was NOT okay! It was that part of her that came from her harlot of a mother. Their mom had slept with so many men it was nuts! Sometimes Claire wondered if she had more sisters. But then she would have remembered her mom being pregnant and she never was, so she knew that she didn't have any other sisters.

"Iwasn't too forward, was I?"

She looked at Griffin again brought back to reality and she shook her head with a big smile. "It was.. like a movie." Claire said and nodded her head. That's exactly what it was like. She could imagine it a scene in some sort of mushy romantic part of a film where two people had their first kiss. Although this was technically their second, but it felt like a first!

When Griffin reached for her arm she allowed him to guide her towards the boat and she began to nibble on her bottom lip, watching him curiously. There was something she had to ask now! But she wasn't sure how to say it without it coming out weird. She wasn't sure where they stood now. Five minutes ago she would have said they were clearly just friends, but now.. now she wasn't sure. She decided not to ask him. Maybe another time.

[GRIFFIN CARTWRIGHT]

He gulped at her question. "Both?" He offered meekly, though it was only partially true. "It wasn't the first time I've shared a kiss with someone." He assured her, his tongue gliding over his top lip, still feeling her there. He wouldn't mind replaying that moment over and over with her. "But it was certainly the first time I have in that manner. You do something to me, Claire. I don't know what." He admitted a little embarrassed as if he should somehow be ashamed of this revelation. He wasn't but he felt bashful about it. He was twice her age, more even, and she had likely done far more with a man than he could imagine doing with a woman. He wasn't even sure if it was because of what he was, or who he was.

"I take initiative, but so rarely with other people. It's easier to allow them to show me what they want, and to do it. I don't even know what came over me! I've never..." He gave a nervous laugh, looking sideways at her.

When she told him it was like a movie he had to smile again. She was obviously taken with the whole thing, and he felt no regret. If anything he felt remorse for not having done it sooner. His hand slid lower and his fingers curled around hers as they walked together. He wanted to do it again, but the moment just didn't feel right, and truth be told he had no idea what to do with himself when he did kiss her. Sure, he held her face delicately in his hands, but what next? He had no idea what he was really doing.

"I've never really been with anyone. Woman have never held any interest to me as anything other than friends. Actually, it wasn't until you kissed me that I even noticed that I cared for you differently than I have any other friend, like you broke some magic enchantment." He gave a nervous sort of laugh.

"I guess.. I don't know. I don't know what to think, Claire. I don't even know what to do." He offered, for the first time feeling as Claire must. "Look at me." He teased with a laugh. "I'm the one rambling, and you're the one whose cool and poised. What have you done to me, Claire McLeester?" He teased with a laugh, his whole face seeming to grin as a unit as he looked down at her, squeezing her hand lightly.

[CLAIRE MCLEESTER]

Claire had the feeling that Griffin was trying to say something that he wasn't really saying. For once he seemed to be the one who was nervous and a little flustered while she was calm and collected! "Ha! The curse is finally lifted! Whew! Social awkwardness is no longer my burden!" She teased and pretended to wipe sweat off her forehead although there was none. She laughed at herself and when he held her hand it made her grin like a lunatic. She must have looked like a fat kid in a candy store who was told he can have everything!

But she thought about the things he wasn't saying. He didn't take the initiative and didn't think of women in any sort of romantic way. Well he definitely wasn't gay that was for sure! "Griffin?" She said his name a little softly and was actually looking far off in the distance for a moment trying to gather what she was going to say.

"Are.. do you mean that you've never..." She trailed off and looked around, her head bobbing a bit as if she was trying to get him to understand what she was saying without actually saying it! She didn't want to come right out and ask if he was a virgin, that just sounded weird! He was like twice her age, too! He couldn't be! "..that you've never done the deed?" She lowered her voice not wanting anyone to overhear just in case. She didn't know if she was more embarrassed for asking or if he would be for her insinuating it. She was a bit of a retard when it came to talking about it that was for sure. Unless it was the Chinese delivery guy apparently. But she didn't like to just come out and say sex. She didn't talk about it. Hell, she'd only ever done it once and it was the most awkward and weirdest thing ever. People always said you were eternally damned to be in love with your first but Claire could care less about it.

"I guess.. it's just kind of hard to believe you've never been with anyone. I mean look at you!" She even took this opportunity to take a little glance at him herself. "I know I wouldn't mind seeing you shirtless again." She said a little bluntly and then after the words came out her eyes widened a little bit. "...that was SO suppose to be said in my head. Not out loud."

[GRIFFIN CARTWRIGHT]

He knew he ought to be embarrassed at his answer, only he wasn't. Well, not entirely. He was sad he'd never had the opportunity of intimacy with anyone, but it had never been high on his agenda of things to do. He wasn't a sexual person by nature. It was just something that he wasn't interested in pursuing. If and when the time was right, it would happen, and he was certain, if the claims were true, he would enjoy himself thoroughly. He didn't even really touch himself. He did on occasion, but he often lost interest. It felt wonderful, but it didn't better him in any way. When Griffin did something, he wanted for it to mean something on some level. His genitals were for procreation. Wasn't that enough?

"No." He said without hesitation. "I've never been intimate with anyone before." He tells her truthfully. He would happily explain to her his reasoning if she cared to know.

"I guess.. it's just kind of hard to believe you've never been with anyone. I mean look at you! I know I wouldn't mind seeing you shirtless again." He couldn't supress the smile on his lips and he chuckled. "...that was SO suppose to be said in my head. Not out loud." "I guess you still have that little social awkwardness burden after all." He teased, squeezing her hand again.

"It's not about this, Claire." He explained, gliding a hand from his face down his torso. He knew he was an attractive man. He took care of himself, and in this society people were attracted to that. "I'm not interested in exteriors, it's what's inside that's always counted. Pure heart, sound mind." He shrugged his shoulders.

"I've always known a day would come when I would be fortunate enough to take a woman to bed. She and I would be partners in all we did. We would travel together, study new hobbies, surround ourselves with books and art, and then we would be intimate. Our love would create another. That's what sex is. It's physical love, a way to be one with the one you cherish most." He gulped and looked at her, unsure if she could understand what he meant.

And it hit him. He would love nothing more than to travel with her, to study together, laugh, joke, play, read and see shows. Learn from one another. She was so witty and full of life! She had made him act without thinking through! He could make love to her. He'd want to...but she could never have his child. Avisaille's could not breed with others. The offspring would suffer with it's not quite hollow, not quite solid bones, its misshapen wings which could never carry his weight. Did that mean he had to rule Claire out as a potential life partner? Knowing their life would be childless and he would watch her grow and pass so many years before him?

Was he really, after knowing her for seven months, considering her a candidate to be his partner in life? "You're the first woman I've wanted to truly travel with." He told her softly, unsure what she would even think. "I would love to learn how to cook in France with you, to sail together in Tonga, Tonga, to eat sushi together in the heart of Tokyo..." He bit his lip and looked at Mr. Snuggles. "And yet I have no idea how to feel when I'm with you. It's like a piece of my brain simply smiles when you're near." He blushed. "Somehow I've manage to change the topic from my virginity to sweeping the globe with you.. I really have been hanging around you too much."