Bittersweet Chocolate (Jack)

[JACK ROCCOGRANDI]

Jack could see how scared Rebecca was of his confession. Of course he remembered that this Rebecca wasn’t as affectionate as the Rebecca he had briefly been married too, but it still hurt a little. He knew she wouldn’t say the words back, but as her mouth open he dared to hope she would. That was until the door to his room suddenly opened. He looked at the nurse who all but swooped on him with question after question. She was pawing him, checking his eyes and asking him how he felt. He was sore from lying still for so long and the tube in his nose flowing back into his throat was bothering him, but otherwise he felt okay. Maybe a little sleepy too even though he’d just woken up. She told him that he had been in a coma, but couldn’t tell him much besides that. The cause of his coma, from what they could tell, was a kind of neurotoxin being continually injected into his system by a nurse who had been arrested. It must have been in the chocolate too…the one he ate just before he passed out. There was nothing more they could tell him, however. The details of the poison used on him were quite mysterious. Was he the only victim? Before he had a chance to ask, they went on to explain his recovery regimen. A liquid diet…damn, all he wanted was a big fat burger or a nice juicy steak. Maybe he could convince Rebecca to smuggle something in for him.

When the doctors left, he looked back at Rebecca who was climbing onto the bed with him again. Her hands found his, pulling his large hand into her lap. It was a rare moment when she reached for his hand, but it warmed him again. His fingers clasped hers, remembering where their conversation left off and anxious to hear her answer. She wouldn’t say it…but she might. “I’m really glad you’re alright, Jack. I was worried…I wasn’t sure if…” She was biting her bottom lip and she looked away from him bashfully. No. She wouldn’t say it. Though he was disappointed, Jack couldn’t say he hadn’t seen it coming. “I really do care about you. Okay?” She was still there. He had been unconscious for a week and she was still there beside him. She had probably been there every day since he passed out. Of course he knew she cared about him. His smile was a little sad, but genuine all the same. He held her hand just a little tighter. “I know. And I wasn’t expecting you to say it back. I just wanted you to know how I feel. Just in case something else happened.” His eyes fell to their hands, reminding himself that this was real. Rebecca was real, this Rebecca who was his coworker and lover and had lost her family as a child. They weren’t married, they didn’t have any kids, and he had never cheated on her, would never cheat on her. But that meant his father was still bones beneath the headstone etched with his name in the graveyard on the edge of town. The memory weighed heavy on his heart and for a long time he simply sat staring sadly at their joined hands. This was where he belonged, in a world where he and Rebecca had both lost.

“I met your parents.” It was a strange way to break the silence, but when he looked up at Rebecca there was a sad smile on his face. “And your brother. He was getting married to a beautiful girl. And I saw my father again, too. He had gray hair.” His smile grew, but his eyes were distant as he remembered that other life. “You and I were married. We had a daughter and you were pregnant with our son. She was so little and cute. She looked a lot like you. You were best friends with my sisters since we were young and you and I had been together since high school.” He shook his head, his smile growing and becoming more amused. “I told you that I couldn’t remember any of that and you thought I was lying. You got mad at me because I couldn’t figure out how to put a car seat in the limo that was taking us to the wedding. Once we got to the wedding, you were over it.” His eyes met hers and he could tell she was a little nervous about all of this. “Crazy, right? But it all felt so real. I thought maybe I was going crazy because I remembered everything so differently from everyone else.” He’d never even seen a picture of her family. A thought came to him and he tilted his head slightly to the side. “Did your brother have blonde hair and a bunch of freckles? And your parents…” He described what her parents had looked like in his dream, as precisely as he could remember them. “Is that what your parents looked like?” It would be an interesting test…

[REBECCA TAYLOR]

She saw the disappointment in his eyes and looked down shyly. Why did he need to put her in this awkwar position so soon after waking up? Guilt swept through her making her stomach churn uncomortably. “I know. And I wasn’t expecting you to say it back. I just wanted you to know how I feel. Just in case something else happened.” She chewed on the inside of her bottom lip until she felt pain ebb through her jaw. "I know." She whispered after a moment. She knew how Jack felt, and in many ways she was sure she felt the same but that next step was something that frightened her. Her stubborness had gotten in the way of her allowing to truly admit to herself that what she felt was love for the man beside her.

“I met your parents.” She looked up a him with a strange mixture of curiosity and annoyance. “And your brother. He was getting married to a beautiful girl. And I saw my father again, too. He had gray hair.” She had no idea how to respond to him. Why would her family be in his dream? Clearly he hadn't met her family. Hell, she was certain he'd never seen any of the few pictures she actually had of them. “You and I were married." Married? "We had a daughter.." Daughter?! "..and you were pregnant with our son." Pregnant! Rebecca's mind swirled with the very ludicrousy of it. She never imagined marriage or kids. Not really. "She was so little and cute. She looked a lot like you. You were best friends with my sisters since we were young and you and I had been together since high school.” That was a hell of an imagination, one that made Rebecca shift uneasily in her seat. Did he want those things? Did he want them with her?

“I told you that I couldn’t remember any of that and you thought I was lying. You got mad at me because I couldn’t figure out how to put a car seat in the limo that was taking us to the wedding." Whose wedding? Rebecca was wondering if she had missed something "Once we got to the wedding, you were over it. Crazy, right? But it all felt so real. I thought maybe I was going crazy because I remembered everything so differently from everyone else.” it seemed like a strange dream but she listened patiently, keeping her mixed feelings to herself. “Did your brother have blonde hair and a bunch of freckles?" The question startled her, but mostly because he did. Sam had been a hadsome boy with his blond hair and hazel brown eyes. His freckles were very prominent giving him a unique look, she remembered him clearly, but how could Jack know that? Then he began describing her parents, and accurately. Was he messing with her? The blood drained from her face and she felt ill. How could he know?

“Is that what your parents looked like?” He throat felt dry but he slowly nodded after a second. "How could you know that?" She finally asked, her voice hoarse suddenly. "Are you messing with me?" It was an accusing question and her brows lowered in her anguish. After all these years it still hurt losing them like she had. "Because that' not funny, Jack. That's not funny." She pulled her hand back, crossing her arms over her stomach as she fought the tears. What a way to greet her after she sat by his unconcious ass all week!

[JACK ROCCOGRANDI]

Jack could see the terror on Rebecca’s face. She was pale and her eyes were wide as she stared at him in silence. “How could you know that?” So those were her parents and her little brother?! Just like Jack had seen his father aged as he should have been. “Are you messing with me?” He panicked as he saw how much his visions were affecting her. He swallowed hard, scrambling for words. “Because that’s not funny, Jack. That’s not funny.” The way she spoke reminded him of a sulking child, her arms crossed over her stomach. He pushed himself up and reached out for one of her hands. “No, I swear I’m not messing with you. Those are the people I saw in my dream. Are you sure you don’t have a picture of them up somewhere in your apartment where I might have seen it?” As he tried to think of the layout of Rebecca’s apartment, a thought struck him. He eyed Rebecca suspiciously. “You’re not messing with me? Your parents and brother really looked like that?” She confirmed it and he frowned nervously, wondering what this meant. He was suddenly yearning to go to the station and interrogate the nurse who did this to him.

“The nurse who did this…has she said anything? About why?” Why would someone make him go through that? He’d felt so lost and confused in the strange vision he’d had. It forced him onto an emotional roller coaster. He was so glad his father was alive and that he was married to Rebecca with a beautiful little girl and a son on the way. Then he was devastated by what he had inadvertently done to Rebecca, both cutting her emotionally and sending her into labor. Then ripping him from that world as he’s beginning to think it’s real and send him back into the life he thought he wanted to return to. But so far the woman hadn’t explained why she did that to him. Why she had done that to anyone? “I want to talk to her. I don’t care when but I want her to tell me why she did this and how. Why me?” Jack frowned deeper, his heart aching as he thought about his aged father, grinning from beneath his salt and pepper beard. He looked down at his hand holding onto hers.

“Do you know how happy I was to see my dad? He looked just like I remembered him, but aged like he would be now. All these years without him…they were suddenly just…a bad dream.” His eyes stung with tears. “And now to find out that wasn’t true…that he really is gone…” It hurt to think about it and he used the heel of his palm to wipe a tear from his dark eye. He couldn’t think that way. He couldn’t think that being back was a bad thing. His fingers tightened around hers. “But I’m glad this is back to normal. It was strange having known you for so long. The spark between us was dying. I don’t ever want that to happen here. And I promise I’m never going to hurt you.” Still holding her hand, he told her about his dream, about their marriage and their difficulties, and about the secret tryst he’d had with Rebecca’s brother’s new sister-in-law. He shook his head after telling her, looking desperately into her eyes. “I would never really do that to you. Ever. No matter what’s going on between us.” This must have been what Scrooge felt like when he woke up from his adventurous and haunted Christmas night. A small smile quirked up his lips as he looked down at her curiously. “I really want to know what your family was doing in my dream, though.”

[REBECCA TAYLOR]

“No, I swear I’m not messing with you. Those are the people I saw in my dream. Are you sure you don’t have a picture of them up somewhere in your apartment where I might have seen it?” His hand enclosed around hers and she watched him warily. Did she? No, she knew she didn't and her head shook slightly from side to side, but how could he know? Maybe he'd come across her box of things from her past and saw? No, he would admit to that, wouldn't he? Well, maybe not necessarily. Still, he seemed genuine right now, like he wasn't lying. That didn't mean he wasn't, but Rebecca liked giving Jack the benefit of the doubt, because there were few in her life she could. She had to trust him. He did, after all, love her. “You’re not messing with me? Your parents and brother really looked like that?” Her eyes widened slightly that he would even consider accusing her of fucking with him. "Why would I lie about that?" She practically snapped, clearly upset. She looked down at her hand in his, wanting to rip it away, but forcing herself to keep it there. She'd waited a week for him to hold it once more and she wasn't willing to part with that big strong hand just yet, even if she was ticked at his accusation.

“The nurse who did this…has she said anything? About why?” She looked back up and her own anger seemed to dwindle some as she realized he felt like a victim here, and he had every right to. Maybe there was something more behind that induced coma. Jack was thinking like the detective he was now and she chewed the inside of her lip as her head moved from side to side. "The investigation's just begun." She explained softly, her own bitterness ebbing away, even in her voice. “I want to talk to her. I don’t care when but I want her to tell me why she did this and how. Why me?” Though she hadn't ever been in Jack's situation, she knew exactly how he felt. She wanted desperately to confront the man who murdered her family and ask the same things. She got Jack in that moment, and though she knew the captain probably wouldn't let Jack anywhere near this woman, she had to make sure his questions were answered. Why him? Rebecca was under the impression that this was much more than Jack being in a coma for a week. That wasn't a big deal, but he'd been suffering some how and Rebecca suddenly remembered Maxi. Was she awake too? Had she suffered the same strange dreams Jack had? "If you don't get to question her personally, I promise you will get whatever answers you need." She said softly, her sea colored eyes piercing his deep brown ones. She would do that for him if he couldn't himself, or he would get another cop to. She silently vowed to do whatever it took.

“Do you know how happy I was to see my dad? He looked just like I remembered him, but aged like he would be now. All these years without him…they were suddenly just…a bad dream. And now to find out that wasn’t true…that he really is gone…” Rebecca swallowed, again knowing how he felt. How realistic were these dreams of his? She heard the pain in his voice and her hand squeezed his gently. What she would give to see her family again.. Her parents and brother, alive and happy.. how different would she have been? “But I’m glad this is back to normal. It was strange having known you for so long. The spark between us was dying. I don’t ever want that to happen here. And I promise I’m never going to hurt you.” His confession startled her and she watched him carefully. What had happened to him while he slept? “I would never really do that to you. Ever. No matter what’s going on between us.” Never do what? Hurt her? What had he done to her in that dream? Slowly she nodded, unsure what to say in the matter. "I believe you." She offered softly, still not sure what to say. He seemed so defeated and upset. She wanted to make him feel better but had no idea how! Suddenly a smile lit his face slightly and she watched him curiously. “I really want to know what your family was doing in my dream, though.” Again she bit her lip and looked down at his hand. She wanted to know the same. "I do, too." She said softly, her eyes searching his. She watched him cautiously for a long minute, a little shy about the question forming in her mind. It wasn't real.. that wasn't really her family he dreamed of.. but it was the closest she had. "What.." She stopped herself, feeling stupid and shaking her head, but his gentle coaxing made her look back at him, her cheeks flushed. "What were they like? Not that it was really them, just.. what were they like?"

[JACK ROCCOGRANDI]

Jack watched as Rebecca bit her lip and looked down at their clasped hands. He could plainly see how perturbed she was by his dream. When her eyes came back to his, she murmured a soft, “I do, too.” Why had her family been in his dream? He wondered if they were even similar in this life to the Taylors he had met in his dream. It must have been that he saw a photo of her family somewhere in her apartment and he just couldn’t remember having seen it. How else could he have dreamed about them? Before he could even vocalize these questions, Rebecca’s voice broke through the momentary silence.

“What…” She stopped herself and Jack watched his girlfriend curiously. Shaking her head, she looked resolved to not ask her question, but Jack wouldn’t let it slide just yet. “What? You can ask, Becks.” His voice was softer than usual and the added nickname may have softened Rebecca further, her eyes coming back to his again. It was one of those rare occasions when her cheeks flushed and he had to smile inwardly at how endearing it was. “What were they like? Not that it was really them, just…what were they like?” He knew the “them” she was referring to were her parents and Sam. Of course she was curious about it. Just like he had wanted to stay by his dad’s side the whole night of the wedding just to relish in being near him again. It was the one dream that he had been hoping to come into reality since he was a kid, just like Rebecca had, but he was lucky enough to actually have it come true, even if it was brief. Rebecca must have wanted that even more than he could imagine. He had only lost his father—she had lost everything. His hand squeezed hers gently, understanding why she wanted to hear about her family even if his grief wasn’t as deep as hers.

“They were so nice. Your mom doted on our daughter and spent a lot of time playing with her before she rallied all the women together to help the bride into the limo. She was pretty insistent on helping you especially since you were about to pop with baby. And she was teary all through the service. Your dad was cheerful and heckling Sam when we were riding over. Sam’s new brother-in-law was a pain in the ass, but your dad wasn’t putting up with it. You could tell he was so proud to see Sam getting married, though.” He could clearly remember the way Mrs. Taylor had rested her hand in the crook of Mr. Taylor’s arm as Sam said his vows and how Mr. Taylor had silently placed his hand on top of hers, both watching with beaming smiles. That silent understanding between the older couple, the way he could express comfort and sympathy to his wife with just a touch, had struck him. “And Sam…he was like a little brother to me. He looked up to me. He was nervous about getting married but excited too and I could tell he was happy. His smile was so big…he was just a really positive guy with a good head on his shoulders. I actually found out that he had been dating Izzy for a long time but they split. Izzy cried at the wedding even though she was with Brad…but your brother was very respectful towards her feelings when they talked. I think he was a little sad too…” Now he was rambling and he chanced a look at Rebecca. His words were having an effect on her, but he could tell she was trying to suppress her emotions. His fingers tightened around hers as he looked her in the eye. “They were so happy, Becks. Your parents were so proud of the two of you. And I wish I had a friend like Sam. I wish I could have known them…really known them.” He sensed she was on the verge of tears and he reached out to wrap his arms around her, pulling her into him as he did so. It was nice to hold his Rebecca again, even if he was still hooked up to a monitor.

[REBECCA TAYLOR]

Rebecca couldn't believe she'd asked Jack that question. It wasn't like he'd even really knew her family. They'd been dead for a really long time. Still.. there was a part of her that wished someone could have known them as they should be, and even though it was all a dream, and Jack had never met them, there was a sad, strange comfort in his answer. “They were so nice. Your mom doted on our daughter and spent a lot of time playing with her before she rallied all the women together to help the bride into the limo. She was pretty insistent on helping you especially since you were about to pop with baby. And she was teary all through the service." Rebecca wasn't an emotional person by any stretch of the imagination, but her heart throbbed at his words, and her heart felt heavy. Her mother would have loved to see her have children, and when she did she would have doted on them. Her mother had always been good with children, and though Rebecca had always thought it a shame she couldn't have any of her own, she was grateful to have been adopted by her. "Your dad was cheerful and heckling Sam when we were riding over." That sounded like her dad, too.. Rebecca knew that it was merely coincidental that he would be accurate. Good parents weren't that uncommon, were they? Jack had good parents..

"Sam’s new brother-in-law was a pain in the ass, but your dad wasn’t putting up with it. You could tell he was so proud to see Sam getting married, though.” She gulped. Sam getting married. It wasn't something that would ever happen, and her head bowed as she thought about that. She couldn't even imagine him as anything other than the scrawny blond haired boy he was. He would have been a handsome man, though. Rebecca wished more than anything she could have seen him, known him as an adult. It wasn't fair she'd lost them all! Her eyes stung with unshed tears threatening to pour out and she had to take some slow deep breaths to calm herself a little. “And Sam…he was like a little brother to me. He looked up to me. He was nervous about getting married but excited too and I could tell he was happy. His smile was so big…he was just a really positive guy with a good head on his shoulders. I actually found out that he had been dating Izzy for a long time but they split. Izzy cried at the wedding even though she was with Brad…but your brother was very respectful towards her feelings when they talked. I think he was a little sad too…” His words were starting to become too much and Rebecca shut her dark, blue eyes, the tears that had been welling slipping silently down her cheek. She bowed her head slightly in the hopes Jack wouldn't notice. How different life would be if her family had lived. Could she have met Jack as a youth? Her father had been up for a promotion for some time, it was possible they could have moved into the city yo be closer to his work once they could afford it. Rebecca was, after all, close in age to Jack and his siblings. The whole thing was very probably in her mind. Her head shook slightly from side to side. It just didn't make sense! How could he have dreamed all that?

Rebecca felt Jack's fingers tighten around hers and she knew he'd seen her pathetic tears. “They were so happy, Becks. Your parents were so proud of the two of you. And I wish I had a friend like Sam. I wish I could have known them…really known them.” His arms slid around her and pulled her in, and for the moment she let him though every ounce of her pleaded to pull away. "I don't want to hear anymore." She practically whispered, sniffing back her tears and allowing Jack to push his affection onto her. She didn't have the ability to pull away after not having him for a week and not knowing when she would be able to get him back, but she didn't have the ability to sit through his experience with her dead family, either. She sighed and let her hands loosely wrap around him, not exactly hugging him, but not letting him think she wasn't reciprocating his affections. "I miss them." The words were soft and barely audible, but her close proximity to Jack would allow him to make out her confession. "I wish I could have seen.. but I don't want to know anymore." She knew he would understand, and if he didn't he would have to.

Rebecca pulled away, but not before wiping her discreetly first. "Can I get you anything? You should call your mom and sisters. They've been worried sick. They've all been in to visit and only left when I promised I would be in touch the second you woke up."

[JACK ROCCOGRANDI]

“I don’t want to hear anymore.” Jack could understand that. He could hear Rebecca sniffling into his chest and he preferred to hear her do it there in his arms than anywhere else. She sighed and let her arms come around him, though she didn’t exactly hug him back. That was okay too. For a long pause, Jack and Rebecca stayed that way and he let his cheek rest against her dark hair. There were no questions running through his mind as he held her now. He didn’t need to ask questions with this Rebecca—holding her just as she was now felt completely natural. “I miss them.” It was a statement anyone would make when remembering dead loved ones, but it was a little surprising to hear that confession from Rebecca. “I wish I could have seen…but I don’t want to know anymore.” He nodded gently in response. There were no words needed. He understood exactly what she meant.

When she eventually pulled away, he let her even though he wanted to keep holding her. She was warm and 100% real and it took a lot not to pull her back into him just so he could cling to his reality more tightly. But she had been very emotional since he’d woken up and he was certain she wanted to close all of her emotions up again. So he resolved to just let his hand curl gently around hers. “Can I get you anything? You should call your mom and sisters. They’ve been worried sick. They’ve all been in to visit and only left when I promised I would be in touch the second you woke up.” Yeah, he definitely needed to call them. “Uh-oh. I don’t want to get you in trouble with my mom.” He grinned at how intentionally juvenile the statement sounded, hoping to cheer her up a bit. “Can I borrow your phone?” Rebecca didn’t hesitate to hand over the goods. His mother burst into tears the second she heard his voice. “Oh, Jack! Oh, thank God you’re okay! I was so worried!”[/b] After much reassurance that he was fine, just a bit groggy and hazy from his coma, his mom promised to be there in an hour with his sisters in tow. He knew her green eyes would well up with tears again and she would probably smother him with kisses and hugs when she came in, but it made him smile to know he could bring his mom comfort. His sisters probably wouldn’t be much better. “Get ready for a bunch of crying and squealing,” he warned Rebecca with a smile.

Jack called his sisters too, both of whom burst into tears too and relieved exclamations. He was lucky to have such a loving family. They pounced on his announcement that their mother would come get them and bring them to the hospital, so his conversations with them didn’t last long. It was obvious they were going to save it up for when they got to the hospital. He wanted to tell them about his dream, but he wasn’t sure how comfortable Rebecca would be with that. Maybe when she left the room…Almost as soon as he hung up with Izzy, Rebecca’s phone alerted them to a text message. Apparently Maxi had woken up too. She was in here for the same thing? Maybe he would sneak over to her room at some point and ask if she had any weird dreams. It was possible it was a side effect of the poison, right? He knew he shouldn’t investigate his own case, but he couldn’t help it. Surely he couldn’t have been the only one to end up in such a strange place. Or maybe it really was just a dream…Rebecca dashed off to see Maxi and Jack sent her with his regards. It was sweet to see her so excited at Maxi’s return to the world. So she disappeared for a couple of minutes and Jack took the time to really adjust to being awake again. And as he considered everything that had happened, how he had gotten into this mess in the first place, he thought back to the chocolate he had eaten just before passing out. Whatever happened to that chocolate?

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