Post by REBECCA TAYLOR on Jan 23, 2013 21:13:10 GMT -5
Jack moved his hand to her face and she gulped as his fingers scraped her scalp. She couldn't read the look on his face and for a moment she wondered what he was thinking. What would he say? Part of her wanted him to say nothing at all and to simply forget what she'd said. She was already regretting opening up to him even though it had felt so damn good to get it out. Finally he leaned in and kissed her. Rebecca didn't fight, though a part of her wanted to. She was so used to rejecting everyone that she had to actively work at not pushing him away, both physically and emotionally. It felt good to have him kiss her, and she ignored those burning impulses of self sabotage.
Jack was being tender as he often was when they had an intimate moment, and she knew he genuinely liked her in the way he touched her and spoke to her and got angry when she pushed him away. He was being gracious in his triumph though and she was grateful for that. “You’ve come a long way, Becks…” He said after he pulled away, a small smile on his face and a part of her was annoyed with the comment. She knew he meant it kindly, but she didn't need to have someone tell her that. She had come a long way. She'd worked her damn ass off to get where she was. “I’m glad you’re here.” His words softened her once more and she swallowed hard again. His lips were on hers once more and she let him kiss her, offering as much gusto as he was. She turned her mind off, not wanting to think about him knowing her deepest secret. Then again, it was just a vague description of what she'd been through. The memories she had would likely be buried with her since she was sure she would never want to divulge into her closet of skeletons.
His kiss was tender and when he pulled away she let him stay close, not necessarily wanting it, but craving it to some degree. “I won’t be like them.” Her brows furrowed at his promise and she suddenly felt annoyed with him once more. Still, she didn't push him away when he kissed her knowing he hadn't meant to upset her. Did he honestly think she would let him get close to her if she thought he would take advantage of her? No, Rebecca knew Jack would never intentionally hurt her the way others had, but that didn't mean he would never be like the people in her life had been. He could still hurt her. She could almost guarantee at some point he would fuck up royally and she would be left to herself to pick up her own pieces, and if it wasn't him to fuck up, it would be her. How many people had she pushed away out of fear? How could she ensure Jack was different? He wasn't. If he didn't sabotage them, she most certainly would, and she knew it.
“Maybe I should get Maxi a fruit basket or something…” He smiled and she knew he was playing. A small, strained smile graced her own lips and she forced a sort of chuckling sound as she turned away from him finally. "Maybe." She agreed softly, not wanting to alarm him and let him know she wasn't interested in this conversation. She told him what he wanted to know, and she was ready to stop talking about it. "Hey, I'm gonna go get that shower. I feel sort of gross and I think that naps not happening, so.." She told him, her voice soft but even, not letting on to the way she was feeling, though her mood clearly showed she wasn't into the conversation. She clearly wasn't angry, but certainly a little distant. She bit her lip and wriggled out of his arms, grabbing a t-shirt off the floor and pulling it over her head showing him she was still uncomfortable walking around in the nude even if he had seen all of her. She forced another smile as she pulled her hair free of the neck of the shirt, her eyes locking with his. "I won't be long." She assured him, silently telling him that she wanted to be left alone.
She was quick to slip out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Once alone she let out a long, pained sigh, gripping the edges of the sink and looking warily into the mirror at her own reflection. She had come a long way. She wondered again what would have become of her had Maxi never found her. Her relationship with Jack would be nonexistent. Well, he might have arrested her, but that would have been the extent of it. Would she even be alive? Probably.. Rebecca wanted to believe she would have been able to pull herself out from the hole she dug herself into, but who knew if she would have been strong enough without her friends hand to hold? Rebecca rubbed at her eyes, sniffling back the tears she hadn't realized were threatening to spill and then turned to the shower. She turned the faucet and water spilled out. Quickly the young cop pulled the shirt from over her head and tossed it on the ground, stepping into the tub before the water had a chance to really heat up, the cold shocking the sadness away, at least momentarily. She hoped Jack would forget by the time she was out of the shower and things could go back to normal. She hoped she could forget by the time she was out of the shower so she wouldn't accidentally show how vulnerable she still was.
Jack was being tender as he often was when they had an intimate moment, and she knew he genuinely liked her in the way he touched her and spoke to her and got angry when she pushed him away. He was being gracious in his triumph though and she was grateful for that. “You’ve come a long way, Becks…” He said after he pulled away, a small smile on his face and a part of her was annoyed with the comment. She knew he meant it kindly, but she didn't need to have someone tell her that. She had come a long way. She'd worked her damn ass off to get where she was. “I’m glad you’re here.” His words softened her once more and she swallowed hard again. His lips were on hers once more and she let him kiss her, offering as much gusto as he was. She turned her mind off, not wanting to think about him knowing her deepest secret. Then again, it was just a vague description of what she'd been through. The memories she had would likely be buried with her since she was sure she would never want to divulge into her closet of skeletons.
His kiss was tender and when he pulled away she let him stay close, not necessarily wanting it, but craving it to some degree. “I won’t be like them.” Her brows furrowed at his promise and she suddenly felt annoyed with him once more. Still, she didn't push him away when he kissed her knowing he hadn't meant to upset her. Did he honestly think she would let him get close to her if she thought he would take advantage of her? No, Rebecca knew Jack would never intentionally hurt her the way others had, but that didn't mean he would never be like the people in her life had been. He could still hurt her. She could almost guarantee at some point he would fuck up royally and she would be left to herself to pick up her own pieces, and if it wasn't him to fuck up, it would be her. How many people had she pushed away out of fear? How could she ensure Jack was different? He wasn't. If he didn't sabotage them, she most certainly would, and she knew it.
“Maybe I should get Maxi a fruit basket or something…” He smiled and she knew he was playing. A small, strained smile graced her own lips and she forced a sort of chuckling sound as she turned away from him finally. "Maybe." She agreed softly, not wanting to alarm him and let him know she wasn't interested in this conversation. She told him what he wanted to know, and she was ready to stop talking about it. "Hey, I'm gonna go get that shower. I feel sort of gross and I think that naps not happening, so.." She told him, her voice soft but even, not letting on to the way she was feeling, though her mood clearly showed she wasn't into the conversation. She clearly wasn't angry, but certainly a little distant. She bit her lip and wriggled out of his arms, grabbing a t-shirt off the floor and pulling it over her head showing him she was still uncomfortable walking around in the nude even if he had seen all of her. She forced another smile as she pulled her hair free of the neck of the shirt, her eyes locking with his. "I won't be long." She assured him, silently telling him that she wanted to be left alone.
She was quick to slip out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Once alone she let out a long, pained sigh, gripping the edges of the sink and looking warily into the mirror at her own reflection. She had come a long way. She wondered again what would have become of her had Maxi never found her. Her relationship with Jack would be nonexistent. Well, he might have arrested her, but that would have been the extent of it. Would she even be alive? Probably.. Rebecca wanted to believe she would have been able to pull herself out from the hole she dug herself into, but who knew if she would have been strong enough without her friends hand to hold? Rebecca rubbed at her eyes, sniffling back the tears she hadn't realized were threatening to spill and then turned to the shower. She turned the faucet and water spilled out. Quickly the young cop pulled the shirt from over her head and tossed it on the ground, stepping into the tub before the water had a chance to really heat up, the cold shocking the sadness away, at least momentarily. She hoped Jack would forget by the time she was out of the shower and things could go back to normal. She hoped she could forget by the time she was out of the shower so she wouldn't accidentally show how vulnerable she still was.
